All About Full-Time Maids
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2ppaamm:
There ain't one, 2ppaamm. We employers have to fend for ourselves against all the heartache and :moneyflies: that their mistakes and insolence and just care-less attitude can cause us.
Where's the balance?
Which is why my resolve to leave this downward spiral of overdependence has been strengthened.
your other postings on the other thread has helped me move in that direction - baby steps but we'd eventually get there! 
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Andaiz:
Andaiz, yep, we'll all make it there. I have learnt alot from maidless parents here as well, little tricks, making huge tasks smaller etc. I learnt a lot. And I'll continue to learn as well. With all these, all of us can reduce our dependence this group of foreign workers, and the influence on our kids' accent, English, behavior, fears, diet and morals (lying, stealing, opposite sex) etc. We need to empower ourselves.
There ain't one, 2ppaamm. We employers have to fend for ourselves against all the heartache and :moneyflies: that their mistakes and insolence and just care-less attitude can cause us.2ppaamm:
Where's the balance?
Which is why my resolve to leave this downward spiral of overdependence has been strengthened. your other postings on the other thread has helped me move in that direction - baby steps but we'd eventually get there!
I sometimes believe, while maids have their place, they can be a social curse. -
I call them the necessary evil...not necessary and not evil per se;
but put together with families who need them (necessary), they become an evil force to be reckoned with loh! :stupid: -
Ha…Andaiz well said. May the force be with you! I mean good force!
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Remember I mentioned abt my maid wanting to renew her passport here? After asking the agent, she cant! So she bobian otherwise she keep bugging abt the matter.
And I realise eversince she can take off she die die also wanna have it on the sunday after she receives her salary. Already told her yes but if anything crops up at home she may have off on another day. Then her face become CHARCOAL BLACK lor. Whole day dont wanna talk & coop herself in the kitchen.
When she knew she could take off day as per normal, her attitude change liao. Talk to me lah, tell me abt baby this and that. I IGNORE HER!
I find that with a maid at home simply buay tahan but because I’m due in a fortnight’s time & my son is only 22 mths I have no choice. No elders to help look after etc.
Sigh…even when I manage a grp of teachers or pupils also not that challenging. This is juz a maid. ARGH!!! -
KopiYing:
KopiYing, ha ha... yep, a maid is really harder to manage than any employee that I have ever encountered. But if you find one good one, they are worth more than any employee.Remember I mentioned abt my maid wanting to renew her passport here? After asking the agent, she cant! So she bobian otherwise she keep bugging abt the matter.
And I realise eversince she can take off she die die also wanna have it on the sunday after she receives her salary. Already told her yes but if anything crops up at home she may have off on another day. Then her face become CHARCOAL BLACK lor. Whole day dont wanna talk & coop herself in the kitchen.
When she knew she could take off day as per normal, her attitude change liao. Talk to me lah, tell me abt baby this and that. I IGNORE HER!
I find that with a maid at home simply buay tahan but because I'm due in a fortnight's time & my son is only 22 mths I have no choice. No elders to help look after etc.
Sigh...even when I manage a grp of teachers or pupils also not that challenging. This is juz a maid. ARGH!!!!!!!!
Your maid's reaction is so typical. I have not found a way to tackle that, so that's why I give up lah! But in your case, you can only play along. No matter what carrot you dangle in front of her or any stick you threaten will ever change her. That's my experience. Sigh! Sorry, I don't have a solution, just to let you know she is just typical... -
need some advice here....
My maid has been with me for 4 years and we have decided not to renew her contract. She has been working here for more than 15yrs and very street smart kind...just 3 days back i told her about not renewing the contract in March. The early notice given to her was so that she can find another employer if she wants to stay. Told me she'll look herself. Today came back after her off day, she told me she want every week off (she was given 2 sundays off). reason being she want to be at the agency to be interviewed anytime by prospect employer. After asking more, I realised she's lying, cause she twist her words around. In the end she tell me since she got nothing to do on sunday, so she might as well take off. I told her she can find something to do and i told her if prospect employer want to interview, i'll be willing to give her time off to do it (of course i'll drive her down personally). I even ask her for the agency address and she hesitate to give me. After which she says that the air ticket that i'm supposed to buy for her to go back this year, I can give her cash.(note it was not asking me but telling me). I never expected this from her. If i know her attitude will become like that, I'll only let her know that I'm not renewing next month.:( I don't know what i should do now. Hope to get some advices here. Thanks in advance!!! -
preciousjam:
If I were you, I will go to a budget airline website, buy her a ticket, go to MOM website, cancel her employment pass, and then drive her to the airport on the day of departure. I will not put my family up for any risks. Who knows what she is up to, besides, it doesn't look like you will need her services for the next month. However, I will certainly buy her a very expensive gift, and a big, big angpao: To thank her for all the 4 years that she has looked after your family.need some advice here....
My maid has been with me for 4 years and we have decided not to renew her contract. She has been working here for more than 15yrs and very street smart kind...just 3 days back i told her about not renewing the contract in March. The early notice given to her was so that she can find another employer if she wants to stay. Told me she'll look herself. Today came back after her off day, she told me she want every week off (she was given 2 sundays off). reason being she want to be at the agency to be interviewed anytime by prospect employer. After asking more, I realised she's lying, cause she twist her words around. In the end she tell me since she got nothing to do on sunday, so she might as well take off. I told her she can find something to do and i told her if prospect employer want to interview, i'll be willing to give her time off to do it (of course i'll drive her down personally). I even ask her for the agency address and she hesitate to give me. After which she says that the air ticket that i'm supposed to buy for her to go back this year, I can give her cash.(note it was not asking me but telling me). I never expected this from her. If i know her attitude will become like that, I'll only let her know that I'm not renewing next month.:( I don't know what i should do now. Hope to get some advices here. Thanks in advance!!!
That's what I'd do, but it's really up to you...
Hm... if I absolutely want to let her transfer, I'd drive her to the agent I am familiar (not she is familiar with), and ask the agent to put her up for 2 weeks without canceling her employment pass. She can then go for interviews there. During this time, I will pay for her work permit, but not her salary. If she cannot find employment within that 2 weeks, the agent should fly her home. I had a case the maid did not want to work, and did not want to go back, wanted only to stay with her boyfriend on work permit under my name. After 2 weeks at the agency, she was flown home. She was a tough nut to crack! Basically, I will never allow someone whom I am not sure of near my family members or in my house. -
2ppaamm:
Initially i had the thought of giving her a big ang pao...but when i heard her telling me to give her cash and every sunday off, it feels so much like being ordered by her..not a very nice feeling... I sort of knew she'll want to continue working here, been here for so long already and not married with LOTS of friends here. I didn't want to make things ugly but if she continues to have so many demands, was thinking if its better to pass this process to agency. Luckily all my kids are not under her care now...I don't think I will dare now. I'm still thinking about what should I do...Can't sleep liao!!!
If I were you, I will go to a budget airline website, buy her a ticket, go to MOM website, cancel her employment pass, and then drive her to the airport on the day of departure. I will not put my family up for any risks. Who knows what she is up to, besides, it doesn't look like you will need her services for the next month. However, I will certainly buy her a very expensive gift, and a big, big angpao: To thank her for all the 4 years that she has looked after your family.
That's what I'd do, but it's really up to you... -
preciousjam:
I never expected this from her. If i know her attitude will become like that, I'll only let her know that I'm not renewing next month.:(
I agree with 2ppaamm. Since you don't seem to need her anymore, just send her back ASAP. My maid of 6 years, knowing that her contract was ending, sneaked out so often behind my back on top of the additional off days i gave her. I wouldn't compromise the safety of my family over her feelings (resentment mainly). Don't let her have her chance/time to plan her 'exit'. She's not asking for air-ticket but cash, which signals that she'll not be leaving Singapore whether or not she's being employed at the end of your contract.
I heard the story of a maid who baked a cake and told employers was for her family. In a hurry, she left it behind and in the airport, made a huge fuss to go back and get it. As there wasn't enough time, employers said they'll buy her another one. And when they ate the cake back at home, they realised she had packed all their jewelry into it!
My parents-IL also had their maid's agency inform them that she stole many of their jewelry and currencies (some foreign) during return. We may be nice and trusting but we have to remember, even blood can betray us let alone the paid helper. You should be careful around her now now that her attitude has changed and true colours showing. Sorry if I sound cynical but it definitely pays to be more prudent.
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