All About Full-Time Maids
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2ppaamm:
Initially i had the thought of giving her a big ang pao...but when i heard her telling me to give her cash and every sunday off, it feels so much like being ordered by her..not a very nice feeling... I sort of knew she'll want to continue working here, been here for so long already and not married with LOTS of friends here. I didn't want to make things ugly but if she continues to have so many demands, was thinking if its better to pass this process to agency. Luckily all my kids are not under her care now...I don't think I will dare now. I'm still thinking about what should I do...Can't sleep liao!!!
If I were you, I will go to a budget airline website, buy her a ticket, go to MOM website, cancel her employment pass, and then drive her to the airport on the day of departure. I will not put my family up for any risks. Who knows what she is up to, besides, it doesn't look like you will need her services for the next month. However, I will certainly buy her a very expensive gift, and a big, big angpao: To thank her for all the 4 years that she has looked after your family.
That's what I'd do, but it's really up to you...
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preciousjam:
I never expected this from her. If i know her attitude will become like that, I'll only let her know that I'm not renewing next month.:(
I agree with 2ppaamm. Since you don't seem to need her anymore, just send her back ASAP. My maid of 6 years, knowing that her contract was ending, sneaked out so often behind my back on top of the additional off days i gave her. I wouldn't compromise the safety of my family over her feelings (resentment mainly). Don't let her have her chance/time to plan her 'exit'. She's not asking for air-ticket but cash, which signals that she'll not be leaving Singapore whether or not she's being employed at the end of your contract.
I heard the story of a maid who baked a cake and told employers was for her family. In a hurry, she left it behind and in the airport, made a huge fuss to go back and get it. As there wasn't enough time, employers said they'll buy her another one. And when they ate the cake back at home, they realised she had packed all their jewelry into it!
My parents-IL also had their maid's agency inform them that she stole many of their jewelry and currencies (some foreign) during return. We may be nice and trusting but we have to remember, even blood can betray us let alone the paid helper. You should be careful around her now now that her attitude has changed and true colours showing. Sorry if I sound cynical but it definitely pays to be more prudent. -
blurqueen:
Yep, protect our families first. That'll be my first priority. For the maids, we just do what is right and just. That's why I'd give a big ang pao. 10 years later... you will still feel good lah.... Anyway, that's just my view. You do what you are comfortable with. Don't let her plan her exit. They can be very vicious, and they are being guided outside by a lot of people, their friends, some strange humanities groups sometimes.... can get very hairy.preciousjam:
I never expected this from her. If i know her attitude will become like that, I'll only let her know that I'm not renewing next month.:(
I agree with 2ppaamm. Since you don't seem to need her anymore, just send her back ASAP. My maid of 6 years, knowing that her contract was ending, sneaked out so often behind my back on top of the additional off days i gave her. I wouldn't compromise the safety of my family over her feelings (resentment mainly). Don't let her have her chance/time to plan her 'exit'. She's not asking for air-ticket but cash, which signals that she'll not be leaving Singapore whether or not she's being employed at the end of your contract.
I heard the story of a maid who baked a cake and told employers was for her family. In a hurry, she left it behind and in the airport, made a huge fuss to go back and get it. As there wasn't enough time, employers said they'll buy her another one. And when they ate the cake back at home, they realised she had packed all their jewelry into it!
My parents-IL also had their maid's agency inform them that she stole many of their jewelry and currencies (some foreign) during return. We may be nice and trusting but we have to remember, even blood can betray us let alone the paid helper. You should be careful around her now now that her attitude has changed and true colours showing. Sorry if I sound cynical but it definitely pays to be more prudent. -
Can we just send the maid home without giving notice? :? I always had the impression that we have to give them one month notice if we terminating the contract....
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preciousjam:
Can we just send the maid home without giving notice? :? I always had the impression that we have to give them one month notice if we terminating the contract....
No lah... I've never given any notice. Just send her to her home town, that's all. -
should have check before deciding to tell her my decision so early…we wanted to give her more time to find employer if she decide to stay…and we trust her to be professional about this…i guess no matter how experienced a maid is…they show their true colours sooner or later…I regretted telling her so early…so angry with myself :x
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preciousjam, I understand what you are going through because that’s what happen to me 1 week ago. My maid also blackmail me saying she wants off to go for interview. Hers is actually on a weekday. This kind of blackmailing is made possible when the employer has no alternative for temporary babysitting arrangements.
If you read my earlier post, you would know what I’ve gone through! I have learnt that no matter how long the maid is with you, you can’t trust them completely. Especially when yours has been here for 14 years!! Ol bird leh. You can bet she will try something funny. Personally if i have no problem letting her go, I would book the next available ticket and sent her back. Give her just 2 hours notice. AND Then before she step out of the house, tell her this " I m so glad to have gotten rid of you!!" Ha…Ha…This last part I m joking lah.
Good Luck!! -
Hello everyone, I have come up with my own set of house rules for my new maid. It doesn’t feel like house rule but more of something she needs to be aware of. As my new maid is still not here, please feel free to add in if you have extra ideas.
1) Never the child alone at home! If there’s anything urgent that you need to leave the house, bring the child with you.
2) When you are cooking/boiling water/cutting food in the kitchen, do not let the child go near incase accidents happen!
3) Do not place knife, fork and scissors on kitchen top where the child can reach. Put them high on the shelf or inside the kitchen sink.
4) Always remember the child’s safety come first, housework is second.
5) Always ask or call employer if you are not sure of things. Don’t be afraid to ask! It’s better to be safe than sorry.
6) Try to play or read to the child. That way, you can improve your English and also bond with child.
7) The culture in Singapore is different from your home. What you think is normal in your country DOES NOT mean it will be the same in Singapore.
8 ) Never hit or beat the child. You will get into trouble. If you cannot handle the child, let the father and mother know. Most parents are understanding and will help the maid.
9) Do not steal or take things without asking. If found out, employer will call the police. Ask yourself this, if you are the employer would you want your maid to steal?
10) Treat your employers with respect and you will be treated the same. When you come here, you are a stranger to the employer. It is normal that the employer do not trust you. It takes time to build trust. It may take weeks, months but if you don’t do anything wrong, the employer will come to trust you one day.
11) You must take the child’s temperature 2 times a day. This way, you will know what is the child’s normal temperature.
12) Use your eyes and ears. You see anything dirty, clean it. You see anything dangerous, do not let the child go near. If you hear something funny, go and check on the child.
13) keep yourself clean. Wash your hands after using the toilet. Even if you are not a maid, you should also be clean. This is personal hygiene.
14) you can use the phone to call your family but you must inform the employer first. Do not hide because the phone will record all phone numbers.
15) if there is anything you feel is making you uneasy, tell the employer. Do not keep to yourself. In Singapore, your employer becomes your next family. So feel free to share your problems and you will not find it hard to live here for 2 years. -
Hi peapot,
Just my 2 cents worth on some of the points. However, I will have to say that ultimately, at the end of the day, as the employer, you will know 'how to handle' your maid best.peapot:
JMHO peapot,... hope you don't think otherwiseHello everyone, I have come up with my own set of house rules for my new maid. It doesn't feel like house rule but more of something she needs to be aware of. As my new maid is still not here, please feel free to add in if you have extra ideas.
1) Never the child alone at home! If there's anything urgent that you need to leave the house, bring the child with you.
You may want to clarify point 1 more. Its too vague, JMHO. Something that is not urgent to you may be urgent to your maid. Also, I am just wondering whether this might be open to interpretation as she might take the opportunity to go out often. For example, she might say that your child was bored and wanted to go down so she brought him down. I am saying this cuz my maid says that my DS doesn't want to return from the playgrd whenever I can't bring him down and she ends up being downstairs for 1 and a half hours :!:
6) Try to play or read to the child. That way, you can improve your English and also bond with child.
May I suggest that you come up with a flexi-timetable for her. She may end up only playing with your child or watching TV. Again, speaking from my own experience.
7) The culture in Singapore is different from your home. What you think is normal in your country DOES NOT mean it will be the same in Singapore.
You may need to explain further by giving some relevant examples so she has a clearer picture.
13) keep yourself clean. Wash your hands after using the toilet. Even if you are not a maid, you should also be clean. This is personal hygiene.
What about showering? How many times? Change of clothes in a day? Also washing of undergarments. Know a situation where maid does not change and wash undergarments when supposed to. Also disposal of sanitary pads ... how do you want her to do it. We have sealed our common rubbish bin in the kitchen due to cockroaches so that means she has to bring rubbish down every nite. Which means pads have to be disposed off properly ie wrap in newspaper, put in small plastic bag, tie securely.I suppose if the agency has trained her well in personal hygiene matters, then you won't have a problem.
14) you can use the phone to call your family but you must inform the employer first. Do not hide because the phone will record all phone numbers.
Does that mean that you allow her to call her family as and when she wants to?? Or is it on a monthly basis??
15) if there is anything you feel is making you uneasy, tell the employer. Do not keep to yourself. In Singapore, your employer becomes your next family. So feel free to share your problems and you will not find it hard to live here for 2 years.
Also open to interpretation. What if she comes to you abt money problems that may not be in existence, just to fleece some off you??You may want to consider removing the last 2 lines.
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Wa!!! Autumnbronze, you so detail leh!! I’ve never thought about all these things you mentioned. Btw what is JMHO? All your points are valid. This thread is for discussion, I won’t think otherwise. You gave me support the other time when my maid blackmail me remember? Anyway, I just thought of it as a general guide and when it really happens then I deal with it.
For no.7 I can’t think of any examples yet. If you have pls enlighten me. For no.6 I m working on it. For no.13, so far all my maids haven’t encounter this problem even my "maid from hell" also keep herself clean. So, I’ll have to look into it incase new maid really dirty.
Normally for my maids, first 3 months I let them call back every week because I know they will miss home. After that its once a month. I worry they will become mental nut case if they don’t call home.Ha…maybe will have to depend on individual maid’s behaviour.
No.15 also worry if she keeps everything to herself, she may become mental nut case. what happen when maid do not have any off day? Sorry I have to ask this stupid question because I never had maids without off day. Will they be crazy if they stay home 24/7? Please enlighten me if you face similar situation. Thanks in advance!
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