All About Autism

[helplessmum3]

Thank you a lot

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

I am an employer and here's my view of the new world order. There are just too many people with degrees and masters. I believe in the new Singapore, one needs a skill instead. Example an electrician, carpenter. These are skills a SPED child can acquire and the world can never get enough of. No, I am not suggesting they stay on as electricians and carpenters. I am suggesting they do their time learning the trade and thereafter become the boss. Something like Joan Bowen (restaurant started by parents of an autistic child).


You will surprised by how much they can earn. I know some of these ah Beng bosses. We are talking 6 figures monthly income, not just 10 or 20 thousand a month. Do not worry for your child.

Speaking for my Asperger's daughter, I cannot see her being a boss. That would require social skills and adaptability way beyond what I foresee she can achieve. I think that many ASD kids will have similar issues. Ah Bengs may not be well-educated, but some will have intelligence and skills which, coupled street smarts, enables them to do well in business. The ones without that level of intelligence and street smarts are the ones you don't hear about. Frankly, for ASD people, doing the same skilled job for extended periods without having to manage other people would probably be ideal. To encourage them to aspire to a management role may be setting them up for disappointment.

As an aside, I feel that too many people (NT or not) now aspire to be boss rather than focus on just doing a job well. If everyone is a boss, who will do the real work? We can't rely on foreign workers all the time, and most don't want too many in Singapore anyway. I think we need to return to respecting those who do the real work, not just bosses and managers. I'm not saying that we don't need bosses and managers, but those are just skills too, like plumbing and electrical work, or writing and doctoring, or whatever. Just my thoughts.

[tyeogh]

Aiya, you got to be smart about it lah. How do I put it. Let’s say you want to challenge a dog in a math quiz. The dog will never win you. But if you challenge a dog in a running race, you will never win the dog.


It’s how you position your SPED child. Study your child. Know his strength, weakness, opportunities and threats. Surely there are some things you child is good at. If you insist on him finding a desk job when his studies are below average, he is going to be behind others in his job search. If he is good with his fingers, look along Car mechanic boss (boys), Bakery shop owner (girls), Chef etc. If he is the hyper active kind, think Gym owner, Bike shop owner etc. If he is an organized and neat person, Laundry shop owner, Book shop owner etc. I am just naming a few. Look around you to create more.

I write on my wardrobe door these words to remind myself daily:

"AUTISM MEANS GIFTED DIFFERENTLY"

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

Aiya, you got to be smart about it lah. How do I put it. Let's say you want to challenge a dog in a math quiz. The dog will never win you. But if you challenge a dog in a running race, you will never win the dog.


It's how you position your SPED child. Study your child. Know his strength, weakness, opportunities and threats. Surely there are some things you child is good at. If you insist on him finding a desk job when his studies are below average, he is going to be behind others in his job search. If he is good with his fingers, look along Car mechanic boss (boys), Bakery shop owner (girls), Chef etc. If he is the hyper active kind, think Gym owner, Bike shop owner etc. If he is an organized and neat person, Laundry shop owner, Book shop owner etc. I am just naming a few. Look around you to create more.

I write on my wardrobe door these words to remind myself daily:

\"AUTISM MEANS GIFTED DIFFERENTLY\"

I agree that we must encourage our kids (ASD or NT) to look at their innate skills in order to choose a job, not the other way round. What I was questioning was your statement in your previous post that after mastering a skill, we should encourage our ASD kids to aspire to be bosses and in this post that they should aspire to be a business owner. I think these aspirations may be unrealistic given ASD kids' social skills deficits. To manage people or do business, social skills are very important. The highest-functioning ones may be able to achieve it if they have partners who make up their deficits, but I don't think it will be feasible for many.

[tyeogh]

slmkhoo:

I agree that we must encourage our kids (ASD or NT) to look at their innate skills in order to choose a job, not the other way round. What I was questioning was your statement in your previous post that after mastering a skill, we should encourage our ASD kids to aspire to be bosses and in this post that they should aspire to be a business owner. I think these aspirations may be unrealistic given ASD kids' social skills deficits. To manage people or do business, social skills are very important. The highest-functioning ones may be able to achieve it if they have partners who make up their deficits, but I don't think it will be feasible for many.

Some bakers work alone. The electrician I use has only one helper (one employee). They are their own boss and they make a good living. Did you look carefully at your last home renovation bill to see how much his services cost you? :evil:

[tyeogh]

I say "boss" because some are quick to classify our SPED child into a life of being below average. I think not lor. They too can be successful if they want.

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

slmkhoo:

I agree that we must encourage our kids (ASD or NT) to look at their innate skills in order to choose a job, not the other way round. What I was questioning was your statement in your previous post that after mastering a skill, we should encourage our ASD kids to aspire to be bosses and in this post that they should aspire to be a business owner. I think these aspirations may be unrealistic given ASD kids' social skills deficits. To manage people or do business, social skills are very important. The highest-functioning ones may be able to achieve it if they have partners who make up their deficits, but I don't think it will be feasible for many.

Some bakers work alone. The electrician I use has only one helper (one employee). They are their own boss and they make a good living. Did you look carefully at your last home renovation bill to see how much his services cost you? :evil:

If they can be sole proprietors or only work with those who get along well with them, then yes, I agree they can be bosses or business owners. I didn't think of that - I was thinking more about larger businesses and companies. I have actually told my daughter that setting up a sole propriertorship to write or proofread may be suitable for her. However, my husband disagrees as he thinks she should work in a larger organisation (as a 'worker') so that she can have more social contact or she will get even more reclusive and 'weird'. We're not so concerned about how much she can earn as long as she can pay her bills.

[tyeogh]

slmkhoo:

If they can be sole proprietors or only work with those who get along well with them, then yes, I agree they can be bosses or business owners. I didn't think of that - I was thinking more about larger businesses and companies. I have actually told my daughter that setting up a sole propriertorship to write or proofread may be suitable for her. However, my husband disagrees as he thinks she should work in a larger organisation (as a 'worker') so that she can have more social contact or she will get even more reclusive and 'weird'. We're not so concerned about how much she can earn as long as she can pay her bills.

Aiya, everyone starts small. One customer, two customer. Sole proprietor. Then it grows. Chef, restaurant, chain of restaurants. Do not read it as success oriented. Read it as No Limits too if your child wants.

I am more with you than your hubby. If your daughter has a useful skill in writing or proof reading, position her for it. Example look out for someone who does it, what do they need, a website, a home office, how can you emulate his business. Why be another office worker? Zzzzzz.

PS: I need to edit to correct myself. Maybe there is some wisdom in working in an office to learn the ropes. Thereafter, strike it out herself as a sole prop. The journey is long with many possibilities.

[belachanbabe]

Tyeogh brought up a very valid point on the new world order. Realised that these days white collar jobs don’t pay well nor are they respected as before. Doctors, lawyers etc these days are actually struggling to make a living, don’t even mention making good $$. Accountants? (am one myself) throw stone hit five.


In a positive way, parents have differing expectations on their ASD kids in that we just want them to be happy in what they do in life, make genuine friendships, and be socially and financially independent. Good and well if they are able to integrate into the corporate world though Hubby and I have a back-up plan to set up a business for them if can’t adapt.

We ourselves need to change our traditional mindsets regarding skill based jobs. Witnessed a mother bringing her autistic son for a job interview at KFC the other day and suddenly teared up thinking about how I might have to do the same in future. Admittedly it was irrational though; I really applaud the mum for being so supportive and caring for her son and also the courage shown by the son for his efforts to be independent. A learning journey for all of us.

PS: is your nick pronounced “Tai Ko” as in lucky? That’s quite funny. :imcool:

[ImMeeMee]

tyeogh:

I say \"boss\" because some are quick to classify our SPED child into a life of being below average. I think not lor. They too can be successful if they want.

At times I wonder, what is 'below average', and what is 'successful'.

If the individual is performing a skilled job which is repetitive in nature, does it well, is respected and supported by colleages, has a stable income, is generally happy, but is never promoted to management position, is this 'below average'? Is this 'successful'?

I am beginning to have struggles on society's perception of 'success'. Any thoughts from anybody?