All About Autism

[ImMeeMee]

helplessmum3:

I feel that our HFA are all teachable !!

All u need is $$$$ to input maximum numbers hours of therapist , coaching n teaching, and guiding....

N they learn best n faster with parents together w peers , sad to say we parents need to work .


Money n time !!

Hiaz .. How I wish I strike 1millions n be a full time mom n accompany son to all therapist ..

helplessmum

If I may, when you strike 1m and become a SAHM and can accompany your son for all therapy programs, you may eventually still find that its not sufficient ...

Rather than looking at the glass half empty, try looking at it being half full. You may find that you will feel happier this way.

JMHO.

[johmom]

helplessmum3:

I feel that our HFA are all teachable !!

All u need is $$$$ to input maximum numbers hours of therapist , coaching n teaching, and guiding....

N they learn best n faster with parents together w peers , sad to say we parents need to work .


Money n time !!

Hiaz .. How I wish I strike 1millions n be a full time mom n accompany son to all therapist ..

I'll be honest with you, I don't spend very much on therapy...it's all subsidized...I know compared to others, getting assessed was considered \"cheap\" also cos we went the public route.

I was rather \"traumatized\" during his first month at Nursery (4yo) when his teachers would tell me daily that my child will be ostracized, I actually put him on the wait list of some \"famous\" pte person (don't remember her name) - in January. The wait list was like 9 months long...when they finally called us in December to say they were ready to schedule us in January the following yr, I asked for the cost. It was going to be $4-5K and I finally said \"no\". Took the money and we went to Tokyo for 8 night. And we left it as that until a yr later when we were asked to go the public route.

Also, I don't think I would've spent any less time with him (I'm a SAHM) doing stuff. We never did anything academic (not my priority) but just enjoyed random learning and going out. I hope he'll have a love for learning and a passion for a few subjects, that's all. Best is if he can spend his life doing what he loves...

Therapy takes up time which I would've spent with him on something else. But I see that it's helpful, so we just do it. I actually learn something in the process as well...guess maybe I'm not so good with the \"hidden curriculum\" too.

True, people who don't know how to handle him find it hard to teach him. But on the upside, when a person knows how to handle him, they find him a \"joy to teach\" (his current kindy teacher's words). I think he's easy to teach...when he's paying attention. haha

There's an innocence about him that I enjoy too...and he makes me feel VERY special because he loves me so. He can adhere to rules (but he can get dogmatic about it) so life could be very easy when applied thoughtfully. hehehe

[belachanbabe]

Don’t believe in overloading them with too many therapy programs either. Other than private EIPIC kindergarten and maths tuition, my kids don’t attend any extra social/OT/ST classes and don’t think am a bad parent for doing so. Am always on the lookout for interesting activities for them to do but those are more on the creative/fun side not specific to ASD therapy.


Money good to have of course but as ImMeeMee said: it really isn’t everything. Time spend with your kids, even as simple as snuggling with them as they drift off to sleep are the priceless moments to cherish. :snuggles:

[johmom]

belachanbabe:

Don’t believe in overloading them with too many therapy programs either. Other than private EIPIC kindergarten and maths tuition, my kids don’t attend any extra social/OT/ST classes and don’t think am a bad parent for doing so. Am always on the lookout for interesting activities for them to do but those are more on the creative/fun side not specific to ASD therapy.

I agree. Think my K2 kid is the most free among his peers and that's including his social skills class (that's the only thing he has now in terms of \"therapy\"). The rest of the time it's free play.

[belachanbabe]

Reading the past posts, realize we sometimes get so caught up with helping our kids that we neglect our own mental wellbeing. It’s definitely an emotional rollercoaster from the time of diagnosis and yes we get traumatized and incensed time and again by people’s careless words and actions. Unfortunately, this is the world we have to live and function in and thus easy to wallow in the pessimism of the situation and kids’ future.


Do remember to take time off to rejuvenate and recharge, we aren’t energizer bunnies that can go on and on. :celebrate:

[DesertWind]

Nebbermind:

I've come across high functioning asperger (not sure how diff from asd classification) and did very well academically in mainstream school.

I understand from my boy's PD that ASD kids who survive well in mainstream schools are mainly verbal (no speech delay problems) and diagnosed as \"Aspergers\". Even then, such kids struggles mainly because of their \"social skills\" or I should say their set ways of doing things or how they think differently from the rest in terms of their actions.

The AED from my boy's potential primary school told us that some of these kids do very well academically, to the level of being participants of Maths competitions etc. However, they may have a very set way for eg. they must seat on a certain seat and nobody else can sit on that seat.

My own understanding from all these is that in order to survive in a mainstream school, the kid may lack social skills but cannot also lack in academics. Otherwise, double-failure what's the point?

If kids can excel academically in mainstream school, with manageable / controllable behaviour, then they will be OK.

If kid has excellent behaviour, can sit still and doesn't disrupts the class, minimal problems like running out of the classroom, talking loudly out of the blue etc. Even though this kid can learn nothing in class, will also be able to survive in mainstream school! Learning then have to be done outside of school with tuition support etc.

[sharonkhoo]

DesertWind:

If kid has excellent behaviour, can sit still and doesn't disrupts the class, minimal problems like running out of the classroom, talking loudly out of the blue etc. Even though this kid can learn nothing in class, will also be able to survive in mainstream school! Learning then have to be done outside of school with tuition support etc.

I have an Asperger's girl in mainstream, with some learning difficulties. I agree it is easier when their behaviour is not a problem, but it's not easy if they can't keep up academically (not talking about excelling, just not being lost all the time). They can be laughed at or bullied, teachers get impatient, and they get used to constant failure. They learn to switch off and keep quiet and disengaged. And because they don't have the social skills to fend off the teasing or to win over classmates and teachers to be sympathetic to them, they can find themselves without friends. If they have to rely on a lot of outside school tuition and coaching, they will be over-stressed and over-tired as the school day is already so long. Going to school is not just a matter of survival or getting some academic qualifications, it's also giving them positive experiences of learning, making friends, and getting along in groups. If the experiences are mainly negative, it doesn't help.

[belachanbabe]

Just attended a parent seminar on identifying types of intelligences and how to deal and discipline kids accordingly, with emphasis on motivation and interest. This was conducted by a private family counselor at the primary school premises itself. Liked that it gave practical tips on how to handle difficult behavior rather than merely identifying them and found it more helpful than the Signposts course conducted by KKH. This particular seminar is called “ready set go” and conducted for parents of kids entering Pri 1.


Apparently all primary schools organize such seminars throughout the year and are wholly paid for by MOE. Parents pay a minimum sum for refreshments only. Super impressed with the school system nowadays, at least they recognise and try to help parents understand the anxiety and stress that their kids might face in this highly competitive school environment.

[nugget]

belachanbabe:

Just attended a parent seminar on identifying types of intelligences and how to deal and discipline kids accordingly, with emphasis on motivation and interest. This was conducted by a private family counselor at the primary school premises itself. Liked that it gave practical tips on how to handle difficult behavior rather than merely identifying them and found it more helpful than the Signposts course conducted by KKH. This particular seminar is called “ready set go” and conducted for parents of kids entering Pri 1.


Apparently all primary schools organize such seminars throughout the year and are wholly paid for by MOE. Parents pay a minimum sum for refreshments only. Super impressed with the school system nowadays, at least they recognise and try to help parents understand the anxiety and stress that their kids might face in this highly competitive school environment.

Hi belachanbabe,

Is your kid already attending Primary School? I would need to ask my school AED regarding this seminar. Is this open to all parents or only children with special needs/behavioural problem? One of my concern is once kids got out of EIPIC, there are no more assistance with regards to therapy nature for our kids in mainstream school. I am not too sure to what extend will the AED help my DS to integrate.

I am glad to hear that at least MOE do host seminars to help parents.
I like the signpost conducted by KKH. At least it help me understand children don't meltdown for no good reason. And it has enabled me to be mindful of events that might trigger a meltdown too.

[tyeogh]

helplessmum3:

I feel that our HFA are all teachable !!

All u need is $$$$ to input maximum numbers hours of therapist , coaching n teaching, and guiding....

N they learn best n faster with parents together w peers , sad to say we parents need to work .


Money n time !!

Hiaz .. How I wish I strike 1millions n be a full time mom n accompany son to all therapist ..

I know that feeling. Both my missus and me have jobs. By the time we reach home, we are too zombied to work on our kids. Hang in there.

Wrt to money spent, I cut down by doing my own OT at home. I attended a few OT sessions and figured i have a better method - the cane!

This is going to be controversial and I am saying this only because it works in my situation. Yours may not be the same.

To me, the cane works best. I am an old fashion bible believer. See Proverbs 13:24.

For the first few OT sessions, I saw how the OT tried for one whole hour to coax DS to sit on the chair so that they can do some work. So I am thinking to myself, what rubbish! At home, when I whip out the cane, he sits in 5 seconds!

So I stopped OT. I don't know what else OT does and will not be qualified to make a full assessment. Here's my own method. If I need to make him practice balancing skills, I bring him to the public playground. If I need him to practice fine motor skills, I buy him crayons (broken) so that he uses his fingers, not palm, to draw. If I need compliance, I pull out my cane.

I am not saying OT is useless, I am saying there are ways around it if you want to save.

I did keep the private ST though as i figured we had enough in the CDA account to afford one. Nonetheless, I also have a my own ST routine at home. IMHO, works better than the private ST in that I have the advantage of the cane - I can force his attention. (no I don't beat him lah, I scare him with the cane but one or two strokes will land to remind him who is his daddy lol)

Again, this is my own experience and may not be applicable to every child.