Singapore population

[autumnbronze]

skunk:

vlim:

I had no 2 because I want my no 1 to have a companion especially when my husband and I are no longer in this world.

that is one of the most valid reasons to have at least 2 kids. If u love your child, u won't want him/her to be without kin when both parents have passed on.

Already, i consider myself not a traditional person, but i feel damm damm sad when i see a single child at the parent's coffin at a wake my heart aches at such a sight.

Skunk,

I share your exact sentiment. I feel sad sometimes because I have only my DS. And that too I got him after much difficulty.

And I suspect he is going to end up being an only child. Sometimes, one just cannot fight with nature

No, I don't want to have kids cuz of gahmen. Its more than that. I have seen parents with 3 or more kids on outings ... they seem to have so much fun banterng with each other etc... (I choose to focus on the positive aspects). I never thought I'd say this cuz I didn't have a great childhood at home. But having my DS has changed my life so much .... I enjoy motherhood - tremendously. I enjoyed my pregnancy too. And I would love to have 2 or 3 more ... if God willing

[skunk]

autumnbronze:

And I suspect he is going to end up being an only child. Sometimes, one just cannot fight with nature

Will pray for u

[jedamum]

insider:

My mum was telling me, \"Quite sad that he has to do this alone but at least he came to pay his respect. I am glad that I have given you siblings so that you all have each other\".

another aspect of having siblings is also the support the one can give when the other's spouse passed on. my mum left her hometown to marry a singaporean and when my dad passed on, her sis took the time to flew in to give her support. that is one of the kind which we as kids will not be able to offer. having said that, when my dad passed on, for whatever reasons, none of his living siblings was able to come to see him in the hospital nor handle the funeral affairs, but it was the children of my dad's late sis as well as a BIL who had went through the same (ie loss of a parent) who was giving us support. so those with a single kid, the future is not so grim as key is to keep close contact with extended family.

[schweppes]

autumnbronze:

I share your exact sentiment. I feel sad sometimes because I have only my DS. And that too I got him after much difficulty.

But having my DS has changed my life so much .... I enjoy motherhood - tremendously. I enjoyed my pregnancy too. And I would love to have 2 or 3 more ... if God willing

Hey Autumnbronze, your DS is very blessed to have you and your DH as parents. And in turn, he is your blessing and a gift from God too (pardon me, if i sound too \"religiousy\") It makes your threesome so much more special and wonderful. :love:

autumnbronze:

And I suspect he is going to end up being an only child. Sometimes, one just cannot fight with nature

Hard to say leh... Amazing things do happen in life to amazing people. :lol:

A very close friend conceived late, and had her first child in her late 30s. Shortly after, she conceived her 2nd child 2 or 3 yrs later - and she was in her early 40s by then. We were all very happy for her.

On a similar note, a relative had her second child 12-13 years after she had her first child after trying so hard for No.2.

So... miracles do happen

skunk:

that is one of the most valid reasons to have at least 2 kids. If u love your child, u won't want him/her to be without kin when both parents have passed on.

There are married couples who chose not to have children or perhaps have only 1 child - for whatever their personal reasons. Then again, there are also cases where nature is not being cooperative, even tho some couples want to have more than 1 kid

In fact, after I had DD1, I suffered from 2 miscarriages before DD2 came along. Needless to say, when I was carrying DD2, I was super paranoid, super cautious, super “pan-dang\" (or superstitious). Till now, I still remember the day I gave birth to DD2. When I gave birth to DD1, DH and I cried tears of joy. With DD2, we cried tears of relief.

So, Autumnbronze, who knows! A miracle may happen In the meantime, think of the pleasure - and not pressure - that u can have with DH trying for No.2..... must always look on the bright side of things, mah :romance:

:hugs:

[jedamum]

skunk:

I see the kids now, each one in one room playing their own computer game or watching TV...so sad. I want my 4 kids to fight over the toilet and the single computer/TV muahahaha

you don't need 4 kids to buy a pair of earplugs. battling over tv channels and window seat (on buses) are daily affairs for both my boys. things get complicated when i bring along my nephew for shopping trips cos this want to walk with that person and that person want to walk with another person; ended up block the whole passage way and the noise volume is very loud - very stressful.

[corneyAmber]

How many kids people want to have is a personal choice and we should not stand on the high ground to give opinion on some families who choose to have lesser. There are many personal reasons why people prefer to have one or none.


Like all things, having children is not about quantity. What makes us think one person at a funeral or paying respect at ching Ming means those are one-child family? Perhaps they are multi-children family but only one child has the heart to turn up? Which is more damn sad? A family with one child n will still pay respect to the parents or a family with many kids but only one turns up? my point is let’s not be oversimplistic in view of people’s choices, to each it’s own. Though I know I have only one child at mine one day, I won’t feel sad because I have done my part well enough to bring up my kid to want to be present. I will only feel sad if the quality of my child is in question when we need to part.

Also, living is not exactly a bed of roses, in fact there is more suffering for majority so if having many children so that it won’t be damn sad for myself, I think I am being selfish.

As for my only child being lonely? Yes, if she is not equipped with the skills to find happiness. No, if she knows how to build happiness around her. I know many people with siblings also can end up lonely and unhappy, so in life there is no definite insurance but definitely alot of constraints. The way is to know how to deal with it.

[skunk]

ks2me:

How many kids people want to have is a personal choice and we should not stand on the high ground to give opinion on some families who choose to have lesser. There are many personal reasons why people prefer to have one or none.

Giving personal opinion means we are standing on high ground? No one is forcing anyone else to have more children, nobody can anyway. Everyone has personal reasons, similarly, my personal opinion is that people should have more, not have less, does it mean i have no right to voice my \"personal reasons\"?

This world is more inter-connected than most people think...\"personal reasons\" are not so personal....they affect everyone else, and everyone else has a right to give their opinion about other's choices. This does not entail \"forcing\". Don't be too sensitive.

[Blobbi]

ks2me:

How many kids people want to have is a personal choice and we should not stand on the high ground to give opinion on some families who choose to have lesser. There are many personal reasons why people prefer to have one or none.


Like all things, having children is not about quantity. What makes us think one person at a funeral or paying respect at ching Ming means those are one-child family? Perhaps they are multi-children family but only one child has the heart to turn up? Which is more damn sad? A family with one child n will still pay respect to the parents or a family with many kids but only one turns up? my point is let's not be oversimplistic in view of people's choices, to each it's own. Though I know I have only one child at mine one day, I won't feel sad because I have done my part well enough to bring up my kid to want to be present. I will only feel sad if the quality of my child is in question when we need to part.

Also, living is not exactly a bed of roses, in fact there is more suffering for majority so if having many children so that it won't be damn sad for myself, I think I am being selfish.

As for my only child being lonely? Yes, if she is not equipped with the skills to find happiness. No, if she knows how to build happiness around her. I know many people with siblings also can end up lonely and unhappy, so in life there is no definite insurance but definitely alot of constraints. The way is to know how to deal with it.

Hello fellow one-kidder. I haven't read the other pages thoroughly but wanted to say I totally agree with you. It wasn't our decision to have one child, and I won't ever know how it is in an alternate life with more than 1 kid. But we are grateful, humbled and content with our 1 kiddo.

Skunk ah, can we just celebrate children rather than how many? Cheers.

[skunk]

Blobbi:

Skunk ah, can we just celebrate children rather than how many? Cheers.

Of course, every single one is precious and wonderful, furthermore, you already said it wasn't your decision to have only one.

I only have an axe to grind with those who, by force of will, choose to have no kids or only one. Their decision is no longer \"personal\", it affects everyone.

Just like how society interferes in the life of people who take drugs or gamble. It's their \"personal decision\" right?

[autumnbronze]

schweppes:

autumnbronze:

I share your exact sentiment. I feel sad sometimes because I have only my DS. And that too I got him after much difficulty.

But having my DS has changed my life so much .... I enjoy motherhood - tremendously. I enjoyed my pregnancy too. And I would love to have 2 or 3 more ... if God willing

Hey Autumnbronze, your DS is very blessed to have you and your DH as parents. And in turn, he is your blessing and a gift from God too (pardon me, if i sound too \"religiousy\") It makes your threesome so much more special and wonderful. :love:

autumnbronze:

And I suspect he is going to end up being an only child. Sometimes, one just cannot fight with nature

Hard to say leh... Amazing things do happen in life to amazing people. :lol:

A very close friend conceived late, and had her first child in her late 30s. Shortly after, she conceived her 2nd child 2 or 3 yrs later - and she was in her early 40s by then. We were all very happy for her.

On a similar note, a relative had her second child 12-13 years after she had her first child after trying so hard for No.2.

So... miracles do happen

skunk:

that is one of the most valid reasons to have at least 2 kids. If u love your child, u won't want him/her to be without kin when both parents have passed on.

There are married couples who chose not to have children or perhaps have only 1 child - for whatever their personal reasons. Then again, there are also cases where nature is not being cooperative, even tho some couples want to have more than 1 kid

So, Autumnbronze, who knows! A miracle may happen In the meantime, think of the pleasure - and not pressure - that u can have with DH trying for No.2..... must always look on the bright side of things, mah :romance:

:hugs:

I apologise in advance if this is OT

Hi Schweppes,

Oh, my DS is MOST definitely a blessing :love:

Just want to clarify my thoughts further. When I mentioned about me feeling sad, I also say so because today, at this point of time, in retrospect, I wished I had started my family planning earlier. I waited 7 yrs b4 I decided I was ready to start a family. I did not realize that I would have a hard time with it. I also did not realize that my life would change for the better because of it too The only good thing that came out of it was that because I am an 'older' mom, I am much more focused and calmer - stable, you know what I mean?? Actually, KSP is the first and I think the only place I have/will ever speak so openly about this. I have not shared this 'feeling' with anyone else. My own mom/sis doesn't even know about my miscarriages aft DS. I suppose its easier to speak about something close to your heart under a shroud of annoymity

Yes, I have heard of situations where amazing things happened to amazing pple too. I can wait a few yrs, but 12 or 13 ... that will be too late lah I am actually exploring the option of adoption. I have been toying with it for some time. But I need the support. DH is ok with it, but not ok with the idea of adopting a child of another race - a la Brangilina, not because he is averse to the idea, but only because well, this is S'pore. But I need to know that the extended family will welcome the new child, because DS is their precious - but my gut feel tells me it will not be easy. Also the process of it .... lets see lah ... In the meantime, whenever I go to Bangkok, I make it a point to visit a particular temple and orphanage there cuz Thailand is where I conceived my DS Its just to, how shd I say it - 'pay back', say thank you, in my own little way.

I also know of a few pple who choose to have one child or more due to a myriad of personal reasons. And indeed having a child/no of children IS a personal reason. I have seen parents with one child who is thriving v well and vice versa. Ditto with those who have 2 or more. One must want to start/have a family - regardless whether one has/can only have/chooses to have 1 or more kids - because one WANTS to and not because of gahmen, peer pressure, to allow family name to live on etc ... Just like upgrading, you shd buy a bigger flat/condo/landed property only if you can afford it, not because every Tom, Ah Beng, Ahmad and Bala is upgrading (trying to be racially fair here :D)

I am sure many will agree parenting is not easy. I am echoing some forummers' thoughts here when I say that yes, its true that its not the quantity of children. Actually I do believe its but the quality of love (it can/also entail(s)/encompass(es) time, effort, money if so wish) that you can give to your kid(s), that is applicable/important. For me, its v simple - if you want to/decide to be a parent, then YOU must be prepared to be responsible for the upbringing/your child until he/she turns 21. Not to say that you let go of your responsibility aft that lah ... but you have the option to

For me, I do have more love to give and I am ready to be responsible for more kids, hence I can't help but sometimes wish I have more than 1 child. Apart from the fact that I really think it'll be nice for him to have a sibling and not feel so lonely. That said, I also know that if DS ends up being an only child, I just have to accept it and move on with life. But in the meantime, I would like to hope ... for a miracle, until its time to let go... of that hope. JMOHO

schweppes:

In fact, after I had DD1, I suffered from 2 miscarriages before DD2 came along. Needless to say, when I was carrying DD2, I was super paranoid, super cautious, super “pan-dang\" (or superstitious). Till now, I still remember the day I gave birth to DD2. When I gave birth to DD1, DH and I cried tears of joy. With DD2, we cried tears of relief.

Schweppes,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I went thru the exact same thing, pantang and all, and cried tears of BOTH relief and joy when DS was born :celebrate:

:hugs: to you ....

ps ... Pls check your PM.