All About Autism
-
Double E,
I am one of those who have no 3 while my no 1 is being diagnosed. I must tell you its not a easy decision. I was very very careful with my pregnancy during that time.
Doctor told me that since my No1 is very mild, there % of having another ASD child is very low. Even if the child is affected, it could be some other delay like ADHD etc. But also very very low chance.
My hb and I always wanted 3 kids, during that time my no 2 was only less than 2 year old. He doesn't have a playmate cos no 1 doesn't like to play with him at all. After a lot of consideration, we decided to have no 3.
Our reasons where:
1. We love children.
2. We grew up in big family and very close with our siblings. I want my kids to experience the same joy I have.
3. We don't want no 2 to deal with no 1 on his own. At least he has no 3 to count on or discuss as well. And we want no 2 to experience a normal childhood with a normal sibling - not sure if i make sense here.
4. We know we will regret if we didn't have no 3 when we reach old age. We want no regrets.
5. Even if no 3 has ASD, we know how to handle it. Where to seek help, what to do. We will be able to help our child earlier. Remember ASD is not a disease, its not deadly or contagious.
6. Kids are gifts from heaven. We can afford it so why not.
Of cos I wont denied I hope either no 2 or no 3 will volunteer to look after the older bro when we are not around.
And till today, my no 3 is growing up fine. No ASD symptoms so far - i monitor like a hawk. No 3 is such a joy and everyone adores the baby. Even my no 1 will give in to baby too. Bring toys when baby cries. Help me to look after baby for a min or 2 when I need to go to the loo. He lately even play peekaboo with baby just want to see baby laugh.
And my no 2 is really having a normal sibling to grow up with. No 2 is even more protective and acting like big brother. reminds me of the time when I grow up with my siblings. And when we bring no 1 for therapies etc. No 2 and no 3 can play together. No 2 wont feel so lonely like why we bring kor kor out and leave him at home.
We are tempted to have no 4 but lately I am really drained. I think I don't the stamina haha. Cos my kids all are very very young. So I think my factory is closed too
Do think about it. Talk to your doctor and see what your odds are. -
Hi Simkhoo,
No ‘inheritance’ to talk about, just the house and some savings (assuming we 2 old ones don’t get too sick and used up all the $). I think in Singapore, the biggest expense is the house. The daily expenses should be manageable as long my darling can hold a job. Thus my decision to will my son the property. Haven’t make a will yet but fervently saving up. -
ImMeeMee:
Double E, my DH too has been asking that we have a no. 4 so that the children could eventually spread out the responsibility of looking out for my ASD doter.
I had always thought I'd have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, and when the gynea showed me on the ultrasound scan for DS2 (btw, he very \"drama\", circled the part and wrote BOY before giving me the scan!) I thought, ok no problem, let have 4 kids - 2 boys and 2 girls. In fact I really have been longing for a girl and everyone has been asking me to try for one but I have politely declined as the thought of having a second ASD kid terrifies me. I did harbour hopes of recovery for years but...
So my thought process is kinda opposite as I don't want another kid as I don't want to burden my DS1 in the event I have another special needs kid. Perhaps if DS2 gets more independent and I can see he will be able to cope in the real world I may try again, but I think by then I'll be too old and other medical concerns related to older mothers will kick in. Sigh, if only we all had a crystal ball! -
BB3:
U have spelled out another factor for me!. Yes, what if the 3rd one also have issue, then my NT girl will have 2 special needs siblings to take care.ImMeeMee:
Double E, my DH too has been asking that we have a no. 4 so that the children could eventually spread out the responsibility of looking out for my ASD doter.
I had always thought I'd have 2 kids, a boy and a girl, and when the gynea showed me on the ultrasound scan for DS2 (btw, he very \"drama\", circled the part and wrote BOY before giving me the scan!) I thought, ok no problem, let have 4 kids - 2 boys and 2 girls. In fact I really have been longing for a girl and everyone has been asking me to try for one but I have politely declined as the thought of having a second ASD kid terrifies me. I did harbour hopes of recovery for years but...
So my thought process is kinda opposite as I don't want another kid as I don't want to burden my DS1 in the event I have another special needs kid. Perhaps if DS2 gets more independent and I can see he will be able to cope in the real world I may try again, but I think by then I'll be too old and other medical concerns related to older mothers will kick in. Sigh, if only we all had a crystal ball!
But Nugget's theory is also very true and she and her hubby are very positive about it. I just do not have the guts. Hiazzz. -
Hi double E,
I am definitely at the ‘scared shitless’ side of the court! I also wanted 3 kids until my son is like this. Anyway I am at my late 30s so getting preggie is not an easy task so I decided to shut down factory and started giving away all the babies clothes. -
I thought about adoption (yes I REALLY want a girl) but I think it wouldn’t be the same as I have already gone through the experience of giving birth to my own flesh and blood and I am not so sure I can give the same unconditional love I give to my two kids.
-
My Aunty has 10kids only one left to take care of her
-
mel2sg:
May I know what materials ? I wish I can work w my son at home tooHi HelplessMum34
I am SAHD because of son condition. i just want to share with you my similar experience. My boy was also diagnosed with GDD at 2. He attended Rainbow and we went through many therapies.
Through the years, I have work very closely with the therapies & teachers, so as to better guide him at home. for example, we used to have a Speech-therapist from SPD, an Indian-national, many parents would not prefer him as he has strong Indian-English accent. However, he give good advices & materials. Based on these, I work on my boy daily without fail.
Today, my boy is 8 (going 9) attending P3 in mainstream neighbourhood school. He is a very talkative (fluent English) & have many friends. Well, not all rosy though, academically still struggling (below average) - but never fail. My wife and myself are very pleased & proud of him. We see him as a vehicle travelling at 20km/hr while others are speeding at 100km/hr, but so what eventually he will still get there
-
http://m.wimp.com/devotionsister/
A brother devotion to his special needs sister
http://m.wimp.com/devotionsister/ -
Hi everyone,
Here’s wishing everyone peace and contentment in the year of the horse!
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login