All About Autism

[Couragemom]

Good morning mommies and 1 daddy,


In the recent postings, Nugget and Mashy mentioned that both their sons are aware of their ‘label’ and their individual response toward it. I have met PDs and therapists whom advice to me is that should the child be responding well to therapies and don’t need special concession from primary school such as MT exemption, allied support etc, then there is no need for a formal diagnosis. But I have ever met this 1 developmental PD and he told me he had seen cases of teenagers who don’t know how to cope socially in secondary school and coupled with hormonal changes in the teens, they had mental meltdown and depression.

The parents bought the teen to him and he dug through the history and realized actually the teen had autism but because the parents went through intense therapies (and his could be a HF case) and never got a formal diagnosis so they thought he was ‘cured’ and never did tell the child. But teenage hood is a different ball-game all together and the child not knowing of his own condition, could not cope with his difficulty in the social aspect and got very frustrated leading to the meltdown.

So this is actually food for thought for me.

[sharonkhoo]

I feel the diagnosis is only really useful when you need concessions in school or access to publicly-funded services. In the case of a kid who is coping well in most things, then the parent can work on the deficit areas at home and help the child understand himself. There is really no need for a label. My now 17yo daughter was only formally diagnosed at 14yo. We had realised that she had social skills and some other deficits from the time she was about 6yo, but we chose to handle it ourselves. We explained to her that she was weaker in some areas and we had to work on those a bit more than her sister did, but didn’t give her a label. Even NT kids need to understand that they are not as good in some skills - sports, music, maths etc, so there’s no difference in helping an ASD kid understand himself.

[nugget]

I totally agreed with Slmkhoo, getting label or not, the parents must know where and when the child developmental needs are. When they are older, I believe we need to explain to them why they think and behave differently from others. How to control themselves. How to regulate their moods. How to blend into the society, why some actions or words are not acceptable in certain events/scenarios. These are the challenging social skills a child needs to learn along the way and try to blend in.


I think my son is aware that he is different because he is in the mainstream environment and its very fast pace and he is "forced" to be independent and his awareness of himself, other people, environment is more acute. I think he desires to be normal like the rest of his friends. That’s why he say he don’t want to be special, want to be normal.

But I told him is okay to be special. Special is not bad thing. I say those super heros all have special powers and his special power is he can read very well. That’s why he was chosen to lead the class in reading. I have to keep his self esteem up. If he think lowly of himself… everything will go down the hill.

[sharonkhoo]

nugget:

But I told him is okay to be special. Special is not bad thing. I say those super heros all have special powers and his special power is he can read very well. That's why he was chosen to lead the class in reading. I have to keep his self esteem up. If he think lowly of himself.. everything will go down the hill.

I think it's very important that parents believe that 'special' doesn't have to have negative connotations. Kids will pick up your feelings. On the other hand, I feel that it is misleading and unfair to kids to tell them that the sky's the limit, because I don't believe it is. I tell my daughter that she is special, and different, and as long as she is happy in herself, we will be happy for her. That involves being independent, being able to earn enough to support herself (and being sensible enough to live within her means), enjoying and seeing value in whatever work she does, having some close relationships etc. It will not be the same for every person, but inner contentment is what we aim for. And we give the same message to our NT girl too, although we know the future for her will be very different even though she follows the same principles.

[nugget]

slmkhoo:

I think it's very important that parents believe that 'special' doesn't have to have negative connotations. Kids will pick up your feelings. On the other hand, I feel that it is misleading and unfair to kids to tell them that the sky's the limit, because I don't believe it is. I tell my daughter that she is special, and different, and as long as she is happy in herself, we will be happy for her. That involves being independent, being able to earn enough to support herself (and being sensible enough to live within her means), enjoying and seeing value in whatever work she does, having some close relationships etc. It will not be the same for every person, but inner contentment is what we aim for. And we give the same message to our NT girl too, although we know the future for her will be very different even though she follows the same principles.

Yes I totally agree with you. I always feel being ASD is just being different. They think differently that's all. And recently his form teacher also acknowledged that as well.

Teacher say things he wrote are different from other kids in class. He see/ perceive things differently from other people. I am so glad the teacher understand that. I am really praying hard that he keep meeting kind souls in his life.

ASD kids are just different, not less!

[nugget]

Last year when I was out with my sister, my son actually had a meltdown… My sis saw how I have to dealt with it and I explained to her what was the trigger and this is how he is like when he has a meltdown.


Then I resigned and said, "Nevermind, at least end of the day, I always have him by my side and he will always have me until the day I am gone."

My sis said something which touches my heart. She said "You should not think that way… you should always believe that one day, there will be a girl who will see through all these, accepts, understand and love him for how innocent and simple his is and truly want to be with him." I am really glad my sister think of him that way.

I never see my son in that way before. But what she said is right. My son indeed is very nice to be with. Innocent, simple and sweet in his own ways.

[sharonkhoo]

I was just sent this link to an interview with a mother who has an autistic child (also in the interview) and was told that he would never speak. She went against professionals' advice by focusing on his interests rather than on what he could not do, and he is now studying high level physics at 15yo. I also like something else she said - that you are only as good as your teacher, and by letting her kids explore what interests them, they can teach themselves to the limits of their own ability, which could be higher than the teachers. Here's the link:


http://themotherlist.com/mother-tore-la ... en-genius/

[DesertWind]

nugget:

... you should always believe that one day, there will be a girl who will see through all these, accepts, understand and love him for how innocent and simple his is and truly want to be with him.\" I am really glad my sister think of him that way. I never see my son in that way before. But what she said is right. My son indeed is very nice to be with. Innocent, simple and sweet in his own ways.

Wow, nugget, you have a good sister!
Believe it or not, yesterday I prayed for the first time for the future girl in my boy's life. That in time to come, he will meet a great help-mate who will really love him for who he is and his lovely and kind soul. So that she will take care of him when I am gone. How is it possible when we are all in such a realistic (materialistic) world I don't know. That's why got to start praying now!

[mashy]

slmkhoo:

I was just sent this link to an interview with a mother who has an autistic child (also in the interview) and was told that he would never speak. She went against professionals' advice by focusing on his interests rather than on what he could not do, and he is now studying high level physics at 15yo. I also like something else she said - that you are only as good as your teacher, and by letting her kids explore what interests them, they can teach themselves to the limits of their own ability, which could be higher than the teachers. Here's the link:


http://themotherlist.com/mother-tore-la ... en-genius/

I read her book. It's a truly inspiring book.

[scang]

Receive this info:


There is a talk on Sensory Integration: A Gateway to Learning, Attention & Behaviour to be conducted on 10Apr and a follow up talk on the next day, 11th April on Sensory Profiles and Diets: Beyond Clinical Intervention. By AWWA Resource Centre (Hougang).

If anyone interested in attending, can drop me a pm with your email, so that I can ask the person to send you the details.