Me Time!

[sharonkhoo]

bb_ mom:

icy_mama:

for me, also include ticking on \"yes\" to volunteer ME to volunteer for her class activities. :roll:

DD did that before too! She says since I not working so can go along. :roll:

Enjoy the fact that your kids actually want you there! It may not last! I have a very good relationship with my girls, but now they are in their teens, they don't want me around too much for school and social things. They say I am scary and frighten their friends, but I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

[sleepy]

dd1 would fill in the details. dd2 won't.

They won't make decision on my behalf though. I told them before. They each get 1 vote. I have 400 votes. So much for democracy :evil:

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

I would be upset
Confirm throw them the unfilial hat

Do you shop for clothes with your girls?
Or they go shopping with their friends?

slmkhoo:

They say I am scary and frighten their friends

If they ever dare to say that, I would retort they are obviously mixing with the wrong crowd :mad:
Time to change friends

[sharonkhoo]

sleepy:

slmkhoo:

I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

I would be upset
Confirm throw them the unfilial hat

slmkhoo:

They say I am scary and frighten their friends

If they ever dare to say this, I would retort they are obviously mixing with the wrong crowd :mad:
Time to change friends

I don't take it to heart. I remember being a teen, and no matter how much you love your parents, there's a greater feeling of freedom and independence when you are on your own without them there. I never did anything I couldn't have let them see, and I trust my kids will be that way too. And I don't mind being called 'scary' - my kids say it with a grin and are only half-serious, but we all know that discipline levels are higher in our home than in many of their friends'. They don't resent it, but they know their friends may not be used to someone like me!

[ngl2010]

slmkhoo:

Enjoy the fact that your kids actually want you there! It may not last! I have a very good relationship with my girls, but now they are in their teens, they don't want me around too much for school and social things. They say I am scary and frighten their friends, but I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

Nowadays DS also doesn't want me to be around him when he is with his friends. He wants to look grown up. I use it to my advantage. I threaten that I will pick him up from school and walk home with him if he does not do certain things that I asked him to do It works every time

[sharonkhoo]

sleepy:

dd1 would fill in the details. dd2 won't.

They won't make decision on my behalf though. I told them before. They each get 1 vote. I have 400 votes. So much for democracy :evil:

We are not democratic either. We tell our kids they have speaking rights but not voting rights. Only parents have voting rights. On the other hand, we do take what they say into account, so there has been no revolution so far.

[sharonkhoo]

ngl2010:

slmkhoo:

Enjoy the fact that your kids actually want you there! It may not last! I have a very good relationship with my girls, but now they are in their teens, they don't want me around too much for school and social things. They say I am scary and frighten their friends, but I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

Nowadays DS also doesn't want me to be around him when he is with his friends. He wants to look grown up. I use it to my advantage. I threaten that I will pick him up from school and walk home with him if he does not do certain things that I asked him to do It works every time

Yes, done that too! Mine are girls, so it's less shaming to them, but I have said that if they misbehave in certain ways, I will accompany them everywhere, visit school to talk to their teachers etc. Works like charm!

[wonderm]

slmkhoo:

sleepy:

[quote=\"slmkhoo\"] I think it's because I cramp their style. I'm quite happy to be left out of most of their things, anyway.

I would be upset
Confirm throw them the unfilial hat

slmkhoo:

They say I am scary and frighten their friends

If they ever dare to say this, I would retort they are obviously mixing with the wrong crowd :mad:
Time to change friends

I don't take it to heart. I remember being a teen, and no matter how much you love your parents, there's a greater feeling of freedom and independence when you are on your own without them there. I never did anything I couldn't have let them see, and I trust my kids will be that way too. And I don't mind being called 'scary' - my kids say it with a grin and are only half-serious, but we all know that discipline levels are higher in our home than in many of their friends'. They don't resent it, but they know their friends may not be used to someone like me![/quote]Are you referring to their outings and gatherings with friends? These won't have attendance forms to fill/sign, right?

For school activities where parents are invited, they would also prefer you not to go?

[sharonkhoo]

sleepy:

Do you shop for clothes with your girls?

Or they go shopping with their friends?

I don't think they have ever shopped for clothes with friends as they think it's a waste of time. We all don't like shopping. For basics (casuals and underwear), they are happy if I will buy for them and they don't care about choosing. For things that I need them for fitting (shoes, dresses etc), we will have to go together. My job is to persuade them to look long enough to buy something so it's not a wasted trip. They are even more conservative and unadventurous than I am for them, and they don't like to spend money, even though I am paying, so our shopping trips can be tiring - I nag them to buy more, they just want to go home!

[sleepy]

slmkhoo:

but I have said that if they misbehave in certain ways, I will accompany them everywhere, visit school to talk to their teachers etc. Works like charm!

dd2 is too young to comment. My 12 yo dd1 is appreciative of my over powering control though. If I don't want her to do something, I will simply tell her that's because she's my 宝贝。She said it is much better to have attention (although sometimes too much attention since I 管太多）than being neglect.

dd1 has a classmate who is neglected by her mum. dd1 saw the cold interaction between mother and daughter when she visited that classmate's house. She's surprised because we are usually all over each other at home. So dd1 feels that she would feel terrible if in that classmate's situation.

That's right. Be grateful that I care for her. So I just have to throw her that 'because you're my 宝贝' sentence to get MY way :evil: