Club Only Child Club

[autumnbronze]

kaitlynangelica:

I am feeling this way only because I myself want to feel more complete, by having another child. Not sure if you know what I mean.

But after mulling for a year since my 2nd miscarriage, I have come to accept it a lot better. I am still trying but will accept it if I can't have another. And I keep on stressing to myself over and over that we are already blessed to have one! We are only feeling this way because we are parents and are surrounded by other parents. Frankly, there are a lot of people out there who can't even have one. It's just that we don't come into contact with them because they won't come and hang around us.

Hi kaitlynangelica ,

Also ard same age as you

I know your reply is meant for someone else, but want to let you know that you are definitely not alone. I too have had miscarriages aft miscarriages. Finally got a DS and am trying, yet again aft another 2 failures. Will keep on until cannot lah

Just take one step at a time, and continue to keep counting on our blessings

[kaitlynangelica]

autumnbronze:

Hi kaitlynangelica ,


Also ard same age as you

I know your reply is meant for someone else, but want to let you know that you are definitely not alone. I too have had miscarriages aft miscarriages. Finally got a DS and am trying, yet again aft another 2 failures. Will keep on until cannot lah

Just take one step at a time, and continue to keep counting on our blessings

thanks autumn bronze for your encouragement. Ya......lets keep on counting our blessing and not push for something not meant to be. I know of someone who tried so hard that she had 12 miscarriages! her daugher is already 18.

[tinkerbell]

hello kaitlynangelica,


yes i do totally agree with you !
These stress are what we impose on ourselves and if you want to be happy, nobody can stop you

I had a miscarriage 3 years back too and i did feel horrible then, the loss and everything. Even now when i look back i wld think, my 2nd child wld hv been 2yrs plus this year
And my DD wld make a very good elder sister.

There's a lot of \"what ifs\" when you only hv one child and those with more will never understand why we wld be so selfish in not wanting more.
I hv alot of ppl asking me why i didn't want more and my DD will be so lonely ? I can't be telling them because of health issues ?

But somehow, if its meant to be one, we shd just accept it. Whatever that comes along will be a blessing. To me, I feel its a miracle to even hv my DD. Of course i do feel sad when i see her feeling bored and wanting someone else to play with. So at times i wld try to arrange play dates for her. That's the least i can do.

[Bronzy]

kaitlynangelica:

Geez..............its nice to know that I am not the only one with one child and facing such issues. Maybe we should start a support group for ppl like us.

kaitlynangelica, you are definitely NOT alone! I'm all in favour of a support group! Anyone else want to join?! Objectives would be:
1. Emotional support for the parents
2. Ready pool of playmates for the kids!

Have and still do feel all that you have mentioned. Always wanted to have many kids so it was a real disappointment every time my attempts failed. Had several miscarriages too. Have more or less come to terms with having just one perfect, lovely child. But still feel something missing esp when we go to places with many kids (theme parks, playgrounds, etc) and mine is alone looking wistfully at other kids playing together. Happens during holidays too. Was thinking of taking my daughter on a cruise this Mar hols and my first thought was whether she would enjoy it without any other kids that she knows. Sometimes we are lucky and there are other families with only kids and they get along. Have found that children with many siblings or who are with a group of friends can be rather insensitive to the loneliness of the only child. Understandably so, I guess.

[Blobbi]

Bronzy:

kaitlynangelica:

Geez..............its nice to know that I am not the only one with one child and facing such issues. Maybe we should start a support group for ppl like us.

kaitlynangelica, you are definitely NOT alone! I'm all in favour of a support group! Anyone else want to join?! Objectives would be:
1. Emotional support for the parents
2. Ready pool of playmates for the kids!

Have and still do feel all that you have mentioned. Always wanted to have many kids so it was a real disappointment every time my attempts failed. Had several miscarriages too. Have more or less come to terms with having just one perfect, lovely child. But still feel something missing esp when we go to places with many kids (theme parks, playgrounds, etc) and mine is alone looking wistfully at other kids playing together. Happens during holidays too. Was thinking of taking my daughter on a cruise this Mar hols and my first thought was whether she would enjoy it without any other kids that she knows. Sometimes we are lucky and there are other families with only kids and they get along. Have found that children with many siblings or who are with a group of friends can be rather insensitive to the loneliness of the only child. Understandably so, I guess.

Tks for being so positive, Bronzy!! I couldn't bring myself to read the posts in this thread cos it's too painful. I can't talk about it.

Looking at the present and the future, my son has a whole host of imaginary friends and imaginary siblings. It's his way of coping, but these can be so absorbing and real to him. Hilarious cos his \"siblings\" are so cheeky and always getting into trouble at imaginary school!!

What cruise? Maybe we can casually \"meet\" without planning, hahaha!!

[tinkerbell]

hello all,


yes ! do count me in when you hv meets :lol:

[kaitlynangelica]

Have found that children with many siblings or who are with a group of friends can be rather insensitive to the loneliness of the only child. Understandably so, I guess.

[/quote]

really ? Like how? I think so far I have only met one gal who said :" how come she has no kor kor, jie jie, di di or mei mei?" Thank God the mother was quick and said :" It doesn’t matter! She has a good friend like you!"

[tinkerbell]

Another point, according to general consensus is that an only child is selfish and don’t tend to share, i feel its quite the opposite. At least for my DD and another friend’s child.


An only child tend to want to share as they want somebody to play with them. I never hv an issue on her giving up her toy to anyone at all.
Not sure if its the same to all of you ?

[Blobbi]

kaitlynangelica:

I think so far I have only met one gal who said :\" how come she has no kor kor, jie jie, di di or mei mei?\" Thank God the mother was quick and said :\" It doesn't matter! She has a good friend like you!\"

We also met 1 kid who said that. Tks for the cheerful retort! Both sides will feel happier after hearing it.

[kaitlynangelica]

Blobbi:

kaitlynangelica:

I think so far I have only met one gal who said :\" how come she has no kor kor, jie jie, di di or mei mei?\" Thank God the mother was quick and said :\" It doesn't matter! She has a good friend like you!\"

We also met 1 kid who said that. Tks for the cheerful retort! Both sides will feel happier after hearing it.

Blobbi,

It was my daughter's friend's mother. Yes I thank god she saved the situation or I might have become emotional and cried.

So how old is everybody's kid? Mine is in p1.