All About Autism

[Couragemom]

tyeogh:

To all the regulars here, hows your precious loved ones? Any progress report?


My son is 4 yrs 8 months now. He is doing fantastic compared to 2 years ago. Back then, we could not get a word out of him. Today he will not stop talking!

\"It is NOT funny!\" he snaps at his brother who teases him.

\"I angry you\" he objects when he cannot get things his way

\"Mommy, I like you\" he whispers into his mom ears when he is happy and runs off. (It is tough being a daddy......do all the work, and I get no love. Come on!)

He stayed back a year in mainstream Nursery instead of progressing to mainstream K1. His Nursery teacher reported to me 2 weeks ago that \"he is like any other normal child in class\". It was sweet music to my ears.

I am now engineering how to upgrade him back to his age appropriate mainstream level.

Hope my sharing can lift you. Continue to hang in there for your precious one! There is always hope!

Hi tyeogh,

How have you been, the only active daddy in this thread? Hmm... My son's progress har... share with you a funny episode lah. He is having a cold since yesterday. This morning he was digging his nose then suddenly he turns to me, holds his finger out and say 'Mommy eats!' !!!!!

[tyeogh]

Hi slmkhoo,

You know what? That was the exact same question his principal asked me two weeks ago - why upgrade him when he is happy where he is.

It is a tough question. I don't know the answer and I cannot explain why I am opting such. I guess in spite of all our efforts to accept our child, there is a certain hidden desire that they be normal and we want him to lead that normal life. You were faced with that decision many years ago and made the decision to move your girl forward, which you now regret. I guess I am no different. Perhaps it is the dread of being quizzed by him years later why his peer's NRIC is different (meaning he is older and not so smart so he had to stay back 1 year). Perhaps we parents do not want a enduring stigma on his life.

I don't know the answer. I hear you and the logic behind it. I will probably sleep on this one. Like the many things I have done for this child, there is probably no right or wrong answers - it is a journey of difficult choices. I will consider again and try to hear the small still voice inside to guide me along. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me an idea of what to expect.

[tyeogh]

Couragemom:

Hi tyeogh,

How have you been, the only active daddy in this thread? Hmm... My son's progress har... share with you a funny episode lah. He is having a cold since yesterday. This morning he was digging his nose then suddenly he turns to me, holds his finger out and say 'Mommy eats!' !!!!!

Hi Couragemom,
Eeeeewww!! You know what they say on how kids learn - they learn from watching their parents!!

[Couragemom]

Hi tyeogh,


Hmm… On a more positive note, it means he is much more aware of his environment and people right? He might be quietly observing me you know! Hahahaha…

I totally agree with you about our hidden secret desire for my son to catch up with his peers. I am still struggling with this issue on a daily basis you know. On 1 hand I told myself that it is alright that my son is slower as long as he shows constant progress but on the other hand I keep praying in my heart that my son can catch up with his peers. Haizzz…

[tyeogh]

Couragemom:

Hi tyeogh,


Hmm.... On a more positive note, it means he is much more aware of his environment and people right? He might be quietly observing me you know! Hahahaha...

I totally agree with you about our hidden secret desire for my son to catch up with his peers. I am still struggling with this issue on a daily basis you know. On 1 hand I told myself that it is alright that my son is slower as long as he shows constant progress but on the other hand I keep praying in my heart that my son can catch up with his peers. Haizzz.....

Hahaha! :rotflmao:

Hang in there. There should be light at the end of our tunnels.....no? Or an incoming train???

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

Hi slmkhoo,

You know what? That was the exact same question his principal asked me two weeks ago - why upgrade him when he is happy where he is.

It is a tough question. I don't know the answer and I cannot explain why I am opting such. I guess in spite of all our efforts to accept our child, there is a certain hidden desire that they be normal and we want him to lead that normal life. You were faced with that decision many years ago and made the decision to move your girl forward, which you now regret. I guess I am no different. Perhaps it is the dread of being quizzed by him years later why his peer's NRIC is different (meaning he is older and not so smart so he had to stay back 1 year). Perhaps we parents do not want a enduring stigma on his life.

I don't know the answer. I hear you and the logic behind it. I will probably sleep on this one. Like the many things I have done for this child, there is probably no right or wrong answers - it is a journey of difficult choices. I will consider again and try to hear the small still voice inside to guide me along. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me an idea of what to expect.

I understand where you are coming from. I didn't actually decide to move my child along with her cohort - it never occurred to me that I could ask for her to stay back a year. And as she was doing well academically and not too badly socially, we just didn't think about it at all. The social skills thing caught up with her in the teen years when others matured so much faster. And academically, her lack of maturity is showing up in GP and Lit where thinking is more important than just remembering.

Explaining to a child why he is older than his peers is tricky. My daughter was older by the time I had to explain why she was lagging behind her peers and even her younger sister, and she seems to have coped OK with the knowledge. By the time kids get to the end of sec school, the various streams muddle up the ages anyway. Chew on it, and make the best choice based on what you know and feel.

[Niu2009]

tyeogh:

Hi slmkhoo,

You know what? That was the exact same question his principal asked me two weeks ago - why upgrade him when he is happy where he is.

It is a tough question. I don't know the answer and I cannot explain why I am opting such. I guess in spite of all our efforts to accept our child, there is a certain hidden desire that they be normal and we want him to lead that normal life. You were faced with that decision many years ago and made the decision to move your girl forward, which you now regret. I guess I am no different. Perhaps it is the dread of being quizzed by him years later why his peer's NRIC is different (meaning he is older and not so smart so he had to stay back 1 year). Perhaps we parents do not want a enduring stigma on his life.

I don't know the answer. I hear you and the logic behind it. I will probably sleep on this one. Like the many things I have done for this child, there is probably no right or wrong answers - it is a journey of difficult choices. I will consider again and try to hear the small still voice inside to guide me along. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me an idea of what to expect.

My son is same age as your son. He is in K1 now. His ST suggested send him in speech and drama, just started last week. His teacher always said strong in academic and week in social. I am also thinking about defer him 1 year as he is Nov baby. Sign! A difficult decision.

[Niu2009]

tyeogh:

Hi slmkhoo,

You know what? That was the exact same question his principal asked me two weeks ago - why upgrade him when he is happy where he is.

It is a tough question. I don't know the answer and I cannot explain why I am opting such. I guess in spite of all our efforts to accept our child, there is a certain hidden desire that they be normal and we want him to lead that normal life. You were faced with that decision many years ago and made the decision to move your girl forward, which you now regret. I guess I am no different. Perhaps it is the dread of being quizzed by him years later why his peer's NRIC is different (meaning he is older and not so smart so he had to stay back 1 year). Perhaps we parents do not want a enduring stigma on his life.

I don't know the answer. I hear you and the logic behind it. I will probably sleep on this one. Like the many things I have done for this child, there is probably no right or wrong answers - it is a journey of difficult choices. I will consider again and try to hear the small still voice inside to guide me along. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me an idea of what to expect.

My son is same age as your son. He is in K1 now. His ST suggested send him in speech and drama, just started last week. His teacher always said strong in academic and week in social. I am also thinking about defer him 1 year as he is Nov baby. Sign! A difficult decision.

[Niu2009]

tyeogh:

Hi slmkhoo,

You know what? That was the exact same question his principal asked me two weeks ago - why upgrade him when he is happy where he is.

It is a tough question. I don't know the answer and I cannot explain why I am opting such. I guess in spite of all our efforts to accept our child, there is a certain hidden desire that they be normal and we want him to lead that normal life. You were faced with that decision many years ago and made the decision to move your girl forward, which you now regret. I guess I am no different. Perhaps it is the dread of being quizzed by him years later why his peer's NRIC is different (meaning he is older and not so smart so he had to stay back 1 year). Perhaps we parents do not want a enduring stigma on his life.

I don't know the answer. I hear you and the logic behind it. I will probably sleep on this one. Like the many things I have done for this child, there is probably no right or wrong answers - it is a journey of difficult choices. I will consider again and try to hear the small still voice inside to guide me along. Thanks for sharing your experience. It gives me an idea of what to expect.

My son is same age as your son. He is in K1 now. His ST suggested send him in speech and drama, just started last week. His teacher always said strong in academic and week in social. I am also thinking about defer him 1 year as he is Nov baby. Sign! A difficult decision.

[pinkamoon]

Hi! Just want to chip in since the topic revolves around 'upgrading'.


I can understand how tyeogh feels as I was in the same position. However, I listened to my inner voice last year to defer my son despite family members asking me not to do it. I just knew he will not be able to blend into mainstream given his ability to comply and poor social skills last year. So, I ended up 'downgrading' him.

I did not regret my actions. I feel that the extra time he has this year seems to have given him time to 'grow up' a bit more.

I confess I too hope that he outgrows his autism quickly to the extend that I say certain things I should not have to him. Just yesterday, when I was angry, he told me, ''Mummy, I just want to be normal.'' It really broke my heart when I heard that. He must have picked up that line from me.

Like what slmkhoo mentioned about maturity level, I agree with her totally. I can see that my son is quite immatured as compared to his peers. He seems to be lagging behind 2-3 years? So, I thought he will not seem so immature as compared to his peers if I delay his entry to school.

My son seldom plays for a long time with his sisters. Yesterday, he participated in their pretend play and called his sister Mama (because she pretended to be their mother) and followed his 'mama' to school, bus, beach etc. He complied to what his sisters told him to do. It was a very happy moment for me to see him play this game for more than 30 mins before bedtime. I think to others it may be something achievable. To me, it is a big thing. I even had the moments captured on video.