Difficult Relationship with Parents

[autumnbronze]

Hi foreverj, toddles,


I made the poll question more straightforward cuz there may be some who get along with their parents except for some issues and vice versa

Anyway, I am not able to change the poll info now, but if any of you have a better way of phrasing the poll, what I can do is chk with the mods if it can be changed - no guarantees though

[toddles]

mummy of 2:

i always feel so inferior when people around me talk about their mothers, because it's obvious that the mother-daughter r/p is nothing like mine

don't be sad lah...

I always tell them, haiz, I actually get along better with my MIL. And i guess that is something we can be thankful for too!

some people really have horrid MILs.

My MIL has her quirks, but overall she's nice. And she always checks with me first before dealing with my DD.

And I feel paiseh sometimes cos last time when I was sahm she'll come (FIL too) my place on weekends to help with the kid too, and then they'd both help with the housework washing dishes and magickleening my floor if I'm in the room nursing baby!

my dad and my FIL are both star fathers and grandfathers. They deserve big big awards.

[toddles]

autumnbronze:

Hi foreverj, toddles,


I made the poll question more straightforward cuz there may be some who get along with their parents except for some issues and vice versa

Anyway, I am not able to change the poll info now, but if any of you have a better way of phrasing the poll, what I can do is chk with the mods if it can be changed - no guarantees though

heh heh, it sounds real negative, but we could have something like

Who do you get along worst with?

Mum
Dad
MIL
FIL

[autumnbronze]

sakura_2009:

mummy of 2:

Well the only part that does not tally is my brother is still living with my mother. But agree that it's amazing our experiences are so similiar.

:lol: Yup, the part abt my bro not staying with my mum, that makes a great world of a difference

BTW, I'm the youngest and I have a bro and a sis who are both more than 5 years older than me. Don't tell me we have a similarity here huh ...

Hmmmm .... what can I say, my SIL completely cut off ties with mom, even her kids don't bother calling my mom. My brother at one pt of time too, did not communicate with my mom until recently. But if push comes to shove, he will def relent and go along with his wife.

My mom can be quite a confrontational person ... hence the r/s soured bet them. Sad ... I have seen the effects on my bro's kids and that is exactly what I don't want to happen to mine.

[mummy of 2]

toddles:

mummy of 2:

i always feel so inferior when people around me talk about their mothers, because it's obvious that the mother-daughter r/p is nothing like mine

don't be sad lah...

I always tell them, haiz, I actually get along better with my MIL. And i guess that is something we can be thankful for too!

some people really have horrid MILs.

My MIL has her quirks, but overall she's nice. And she always checks with me first before dealing with my DD.

And I feel paiseh sometimes cos last time when I was sahm she'll come (FIL too) my place on weekends to help with the kid too, and then they'd both help with the housework washing dishes and magickleening my floor if I'm in the room nursing baby!

my dad and my FIL are both star fathers and grandfathers. They deserve big big awards.

Thanks. It is indeed comforting that I can get along with MIL (generally speaking).

Seeing my MIL's r/p with DH and SIl has opened my eyes to the fact that not every family is like mine.

I try to provide a home environment that is as different from the one I grew up in as possible.

[mummy of 2]

And my mother is really calculating when it comes to $. She does not understand that there are more impt things in life.

[autumnbronze]

toddles:

My MIL has her quirks, but overall she's nice.

my dad and my FIL are both star fathers and grandfathers. They deserve big big awards.

I remember that my water bag broke at hm in the bedroom and when I was at the hospital, my ILs dropped by and cleaned up the mess and mopped the whole flat :love:

As for my mom, I had to persuade her to stay with me during confinement as MIL suggested that. She refused to commit until the day aft I delivered and my close frds came over and gushed how THEIR moms took care of them really well during their confinement. My mom suddenly had a change of heart and agreed :?

Strange scenario lah ... :?

[mummy of 2]

I actually do not like to have contact with my mother. I will never ask her to do confinement for me. :!:

[autumnbronze]

mummy of 2:

I actually do not like to have contact with my mother. I will never ask her to do confinement for me. :!:

Actually this was one aspect that I wanted to pick up from her ie the types of confinement food and how to cook and baby massage, plus I did not have a helper at that time.

Also, I didn't want to spoil my r/s with MIL in case we had differing views about how to take care of the baby - which we had

So actually, that one mth, I learnt a lot. At least now if I have another child, I will know what to do ....

[Funz]

I have a good relationship with my parents. They are the ones whom I can turn to for help in almost anything. We visit every Saturday and we usually spend half a day there. Which leads me to wonder about some things that some of you mentioned cos when I am at my parents’, they still carry on with their normal activities, eg watch tv, nap, read papers, etc. Just that we siblings and our kids are hanging around. We don’t expect them to go out of their way to give our kids attention or to be constantly engaged with us or our kids. But we are happy to be there with them and for them they are content that we are there to visit. Well, of course mum will cook more for meals that day or we will go out to tabao sometimes.


My parents will also stay at my place or my sister’s place especially during school holidays and we welcome that. This has been my paternal grandma’s practice. She will stay a short while at each of her children’s homes. So my parents are doing that among us siblings as well. We also make it a point to go on holidays with them at least once a year. My elder sis is able to do that with her ILs as well as they are very easy to get along with. In fact, we have been on many trips where it’s one big happy extended family, my family, sis’s family, our parents and her ILs. But for me, with my ILs, things are more challenging.