All About Autism

[Autumnleaf]

Phtthp, oh yah, your right though about his mother tongue exposure. Our family do not speak Chinese at home at all, as Its not my mother tongue. So I knew we would face some difficulties down the road with this. Just i see now it’s not just Chinese that may be affect, but over all his communication skills seems to be lacking, both English and Chinese. So even though he is able to do written work for english and even read very well (98th percentile according to star reading test, conducted every year in school) his communication does not match up at all.


It’s hard to understand and explain though coz he is really every where with his development. As in he has strong reading and vocubulary, yet his social, communication doesn’t show it.

The frustration I am facing though is school also tend to push our case aside, so long as the child is not failing… But I am still going through a lot of stress with the everyday things with my son.

[tyeogh]

Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?

[Autumnleaf]

Sorry to rant on mummies, very long post guess coz we had let things be for too long… Partly also because when my son was younger, my Hb also refuses to consider the possibility of some sort of learnng or behavior disorder. Till today, he often would remark how these days, kid naughty or slow, always label and blame adhd etc. But yet since p3 he has admitted that he himself feels his own son is "not normal". He is okay for me to go ahead with formal assessment now though.

[Gifts from Heaven]

Hi Autumnleaf,


If you want to go on the private assessment path, can try thomson paediatric centre - child development centre. Should be able to get appointment to see psychologist very quickly. But fees will be high.

[Autumnleaf]

Gifts from Heaven, thanks! They have child guidance clinic there too?

I will make some calls this week. Have you been there before?

I am a bit weary of those small phycologists as I found some tend to be more on trying to sell their education enrichment services for the child which then makes me wonder whether they are dodgy or not. So I do prefer at the hospital, just to get an appointment quickly, hence we are willing to pay.

[sharonkhoo]

Autumnleaf, do go and get an assessment for your son. Reading your description of him is like reading about my daughter! So many things sound exactly the same. It can be tough to get a diagnosis, but I think you and your husband have already realised that your son is a "different" kid, and getting a formal diagnosis will give you something concrete to tell the school and teachers, and maybe get him a bit more support (or fewer complaints). Getting MT exemption is just one thing, but you could also work on his social and other developmental skills at home. It may be too much to expect that he will "catch up" completely with other kids, but focus on improvements and give him time. Focused teaching will work better than expecting him to "grow out of it" as my experience with my daughter is that she is quite unaware of what is happening around her, so unless I point things out very plainly, she may not notice!


My daughter did most of her schooling overseas in a very small school with sympathetic teachers, so I don’t have experience of coping with Singapore school for her. My arrangement with the school was that they would make sure she was not bullied or too left out, and they would tell me whenever she needed more help academically or socially, and I would work on it at home. They could recognise the issues (the principal had special needs experience) so they didn’t require a formal diagnosis. We only got one a couple of years before we knew we were putting her back into Singapore school. She re-entered the Singapore system only in Pre-U 1, and yes, there are challenges! But, to our relief, she still copes OK on a daily basis in school, although a bit "blur" and not doing too well academically. We take it a step at a time.

[Autumnleaf]

Slmkhoo, is your daughter able to manage her time now that’s she’s grown up? As in is she more aware of her sense of time? This is one of my biggest worries for my DS.

[sharonkhoo]

Autumnleaf:

Slmkhoo, is your daughter able to manage her time now that's she's grown up? As in is she more aware of her sense of time? This is one of my biggest worries for my DS.

Not that well, but better than when she was younger! It used to drive me crazy too, but we keep to a fairly set routine, and she has learned to do certain things in certain ways, in a certain order, etc. When things change or are new, she will sometimes need us to advise her again. When she was young, we broke a lot of basic things into discrete steps for her, and used timers to help her keep track of time. We also talk her through how to plan and assess how much time she needs for various things and it does gradually sink in. What particular aspect of time management is the main problem for your son at the moment?

And about her being \"grown up\", well, we've come to terms with the fact that she is much slower in maturing than \"normal\", so we don't expect her to cope like the average 18yo kid. She's more like a 14yo! Her younger sister (15yo) is usually taking the lead, and most people think she is the older one! We have told ourselves that we have to give her time, and maybe she will be like a 21yo when she's 28yo.

[Gifts from Heaven]

Autumnleaf:

Gifts from Heaven, thanks! They have child guidance clinic there too?

I will make some calls this week. Have you been there before?

I am a bit weary of those small phycologists as I found some tend to be more on trying to sell their education enrichment services for the child which then makes me wonder whether they are dodgy or not. So I do prefer at the hospital, just to get an appointment quickly, hence we are willing to pay.

Yes, Thomson Paediatric Centre - Child Development Centre is recommended by my DS's PD. They are at Novena Medical Centre, not at TMC. Google them, must type in the whole string of words, else you will get the TMC one which has no such service.
Yes, we have been there and did our assessment there. Have not been there since the psychologist who seen my DS migrated early last yr though, so not sure how things are now. According to that psychologist, their peak period is usually after exams when results are out cos parents get a shock if their kids did badly and start to seek answers. So, you shld be able to get an appointment rather quickly now since it's just beginning of the year.
They do see kids who are older cos I've seen those kids there when we visited. Just go and get an appointment for consultation first and hear out what the experts suspect of your boy's condition. Don't need to hurry to do assessment on the 1st visit. It may just be parenting style. Sometimes, we suspect this, suspect that cos we have difficulty handling the kid and we have no outlet...no one to talk to abt our problems...and we are at wits' end. We, the parents (or rather the mum), are the ones who need the counselling service. I feel it sometimes on my numerous visits there.
Just know that whatever is the result of the consultation/assessment, you will still need to handle your child regardless and there may or may not be any solution (like a therapy class) for your boy. It is a sad fact that there are fewer such classes as the kids grow older. Best they can suggest for older kids are maybe counselling or some social skills classes targetted at older kids, if it is asd related.
Btw, if you have not read this, maybe you want to read up on TOM (theory of mind). Sometimes, our 'special' kids get into trouble cos of their perspective of things happening around them. Cos their minds are wired differently, they don't see the happenings the same way we see them and do the unexpected (from our perspective).
Sorry for the long rambling. Hope you can get some answers you've been seeking for your questions soon.

[Nebbermind]

tyeogh:

Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?

I think parents with four kids are definitely more stressed...even without ASD kid!