All About Autism

[sharonkhoo]

Snow24:

Hi


Child is lacking in confidence due to social interaction and communicative problems.He find things difficult and does not want to try as he is afraid of failure. How to improve his self esteem and to continue doing the thing he deemed difficult.

You may have to scale back on your expectations to where he is comfortable. This may be well behind others of the same age, so you have to be prepared to be out of sync with everyone else. Start where he can experience successes and praise, and VERY SLOWLY increase the difficulty, always staying just around what he can achieve. Preferably, he should experience many more successes than failures. I also found that talking about my own failures and how I persevered when I was young, or even in day to day things, helped. Don't talk about eventually succeeding; emphasise persevering and trying even when you failed.

[pinkamoon]

Snow24:

Hi


Child is lacking in confidence due to social interaction and communicative problems.He find things difficult and does not want to try as he is afraid of failure. How to improve his self esteem and to continue doing the thing he deemed difficult.

Hi Snow24,

Like what many mummies here have suggested, if your child has difficulties sitting down and paying attention, it is unlikely that he will do it right in the short term.

It is good that you have detected the root of his problem. You understand that he faces problems in language (communicative and comprehension) which in turn affects his social skills and confidence level. By going to the root of the problem will help.

To improve the self esteem, he must first be confident at doing something which he is confident in and gets lots of positive feedback. There is no way a child will be able to do something difficult and be motivated to persevere. Even adults give up easily. Many mummies have given very good advice and I think you can seriously consider some of the points mentioned.

Like my son, when he was with the childcare, he was opening and closing doors, lying on the floor, washing hands in the toilets. These were the things he enjoyed doing. I tried to increase the OT sessions but the more my therapist pushed him, the worse he became. He started screaming in school and even washed his hands in the toilet bowls! :yikes:

As he had a teaching support teacher in that particular childcare, she worked with him 1-1 2 times a week for an hour and provided me with a lot of feedback and help. I also sent my helper to shadow him to keep track of his behaviour. You may want to consider having someone to shadow him. Having a person to teach him (1-1) may help.

I also worked on his diet as I have mentioned the other time. So everything counts. As far as I know, the behaviours our children exhibit is just a symptom of their underlying condition. So as a parent, we have to really look deep enough to find out what is the real root cause in order to help them.

Below is taken from Son-rise web page:

If your child is unable or unwilling to participate in activities of daily living (i.e., brushing teeth, using the toilet, personal hygiene, preparing own meals, dressing self, etc.).

Guiding Principles:
*All people (children and young adults) move toward that which is enjoyable. If these activities are seen as pleasant, our children will move toward instead of away from them.

*People require time to learn—it is worth investing time to help your child acquire new skills.

*Applying the Principles for Autism EducationTake these activities \"out of the closet.\" Teach these activities ongoingly throughout the day. Rather than only doing them during very busy times of the day (i.e., when trying to get your child out the door so they don't miss the bus), take other opportunities to slowly teach these skills.

*Give attention to and celebrate all family members who successfully participate in these activities (i.e., \"Yay daddy! You put on your own jacket!\").

*Give big, exciting reactions to any signs of interest or willingness in this area (i.e., if your child looks at the toothbrush, if he puts his shirt on backwards, etc.).

*Make it fun! (What? Brushing teeth fun? Yes! Brushing teeth can be fun!)

*Be flexible regarding timing. If your child moves away from brushing his hair, rather than force or push it, wait 10 minutes and try again.

Hope it helps.

[Niu2009]

Hi snow24,


I am not sure whether you child was just detected, but seems you are quite new here. Like the experienced parents said you must find the root of the problem instead of the behaviour itself. Like attention span, maybe due to different issues such as muscle tone, sensory issue or compliance. If you want to help him, must find the reasons. If is sensory issue, just sit there do some work won’t help.

[Snow24]

Hi

My child was lying down on the floor under the table when his classmates are sitting on the floor listening to teacher.I don’t know how to tackle this. He need 1 to 1 guidance in class to do worksheet currently .Most of the time he doesn’t want to do worksheet in school.

[sharonkhoo]

Snow24:

Hi

My child was lying down on the floor under the table when his classmates are sitting on the floor listening to teacher.I don't know how to tackle this. He need 1 to 1 guidance in class to do worksheet currently .Most of the time he doesn't want to do worksheet in school.

It looks like your son is not yet able to cope with the classroom setting. If there is no-one there to teach him the appropriate behaviours, then it seems to be quite a waste of time. Can you, or someone else, shadow him in class? Or at home, give him intensive guidance and practice in the behaviours you want him to learn until they become habitual? Sending him for appropriate therapy classes may be helpful too.

[Gifts from Heaven]

Snow24:

Hi

My child was lying down on the floor under the table when his classmates are sitting on the floor listening to teacher.I don't know how to tackle this. He need 1 to 1 guidance in class to do worksheet currently .Most of the time he doesn't want to do worksheet in school.

Hi Snow24,

how old is your child? does he stay there for the whole time while his classmates are on the floor? what does the teacher do? is he listening though he is under the table? is he ok to sit on a chair if he don't want to sit on the floor?
mine did that when he was around 4 in an enrichment class. He would crawl out after a while, like 10 mins, and sit on a chair. But he was listening to the teacher all the time. He kicked the habit when they moved to doing all their activities on the table.

[pinkamoon]

Snow24:

Hi

My child was lying down on the floor under the table when his classmates are sitting on the floor listening to teacher.I don't know how to tackle this. He need 1 to 1 guidance in class to do worksheet currently .Most of the time he doesn't want to do worksheet in school.

Hi Snow24,

Your son probably knows that he attends school buy may not understand how he needs to behave in class and at home. Sometimes, with our children, we want to do it right the first time and be very consistent about it. He may think that because he can lie down on the floor the previous times, thus each time is the same. He may not be aware that in different circumstances, he has to put on different behaviour. Thus, you may have to reinforce the correct behaviours, eg. Sleeping is allowed only on the bed, not in living room, sofa or any other places (starts from home and be consistent), in classroom, only sitting down is allowed (same at home). You may want to use some visual aids to help remind him.

It is not easy for children to show appropriate behaviour in all different social settings, let alone our SN children. All my 3 children play in shopping malls, home and everywhere they go and I have to be the one who keeps reminding them the correct mannerisms and behaviour to display. They always forget but I believe it is our duty to keep on reminding them. Never forget to praise them whenever possible to reinforce the correct behaviours.

Just my thoughts.

[pokoyoko]

There was a TED talk about the history of autism… haven’t had the chance to watch it. Will let you guys know if it’s any help!

[Snow24]

Gifts from Heaven:

Snow24:

Hi

My child was lying down on the floor under the table when his classmates are sitting on the floor listening to teacher.I don't know how to tackle this. He need 1 to 1 guidance in class to do worksheet currently .Most of the time he doesn't want to do worksheet in school.

Hi Snow24,

how old is your child? does he stay there for the whole time while his classmates are on the floor? what does the teacher do? is he listening though he is under the table? is he ok to sit on a chair if he don't want to sit on the floor?
mine did that when he was around 4 in an enrichment class. He would crawl out after a while, like 10 mins, and sit on a chair. But he was listening to the teacher all the time. He kicked the habit when they moved to doing all their activities on the table.

Hi

He is 5 years old.He is listening while he is lying on the floor when his classmates are sitting on the floor.If the teacher remind him not to lie on the floor then he will sit on the floor . Otherwise he is left lying on the floor.He is ok to sit on the chair.

How did your child kicked off the habit?

[Gifts from Heaven]

Snow24:

Hi

He is 5 years old.He is listening while he is lying on the floor when his classmates are sitting on the floor.If the teacher remind him not to lie on the floor then he will sit on the floor . Otherwise he is left lying on the floor.He is ok to sit on the chair.

How did your child kicked off the habit?

Hi Snow24,
Think my boy just outgrew the idea. He wasn't diagnosed then, so we didn't know his issues. We thought he was just being naughty. Fortunately, he got promoted to the more senior class fairly quickly and they stopped having floor time in the senior class.
Anyway, for your boy's case, if he is still listening to the teacher while under the table lying down, it should still be ok as he is not missing out on any info that the teacher is sharing. Of course that is not the right social behaviour, so you should slowly change his behaviour. Ask him why he doesn't want to join the rest of the kids on the floor. Sometimes it is a sensory issue or maybe he had a bad experience. You may want to tell him that there is this new RULE that no one should sit under the table or lie down on the floor in the classroom. Cook up some reasons/white lies why the rule. Then get him to sit on a chair if he doesn't want to sit on the floor. He can start off with sitting away from his classmates if he is not willing to join the group. Then slowly move the chair nearer after a few days. Then eventually remove the chair and let him sit on the floor, but maybe right at the back of the group, at the corner so that he has more space. Let the child lead you when he is ready, no use fighting with him when he doesn't want. You may need to get the teacher's cooperation.
And seriously, if your child hasn't any therapy, plse consider sending him to one, if you intend for him to enrol in mainstream primary school. Therapy doesn't need to be ABA (ABA = v intensive, time consuming and expensive). Can be just some behaviour management therapy where you share with the therapist what are the behaviours that you want him to change and they work with him 1-1 and teach you how to handle it. If his cognition is high enough, you should be able to see some improvements.