Children of average ability
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insider:
It's great that you have apologised to some of those mums who cannot afford to be at home coaching their children full time and who may have guilty feelings about it. Some of your writings (and some of Tamarind's) actually 'rub salt into wounds', I know it's unintentional but it may still hurt.
Some things that you wrote in other threads also \"rub salt in my wound\". Though you may not realized it. But don't ask me to say exactly which ones OK ? I forgot already. I also know that you did it unintentionally.
In the forum, we have to learn to respect different views. Just like in real life, our colleagues or friends may say something unknowingly that make us unhappy.
We come to the forum so that we can find like minded people. I am so very happy to find buds.
However, if we are restricted to write about only things that \"pleases\" other people, then what is the point of writing in the forum ?
Everyone will definitely read about something that they don't like in the forum. I have also read a lot of things that I am not happy about. Well, I have learn that if I don't like the views of someone, then whenever I see her post, I don't read it at all. You should also learn to do the same. Just because someone posted something in the forum, does not mean that you must read it. You may not agree with the views, but many people out there may think that she is correct.
I know of people who swear off forums because he or she cannot take this type of things.
I fully understand that there are mommies who have no choice but to put their kids in CC. But there are many mommies who gave up their high paying jobs because they don't trust CCs to do a good job in raising their children. If we were to only write views that pleases the first group of mommies, then it will hurt the feelings of the second group of mommies !
Everyone should continue to write what they think, in a civilised manner of course.buds:
>Lavish Toys
>These i frankly do not own many. However, my agreement with a fellow
user, tamarind, is based purely on agreement with the excellent quality
of these toys and their extreme durability in the long run. I also do not
expect a childcare to have \"expensive toys\" as a major criteria of whether
the childcare is good or not. As long as its safe for children to use, its
good enough. I for one fully understand that term \"profitability\" in centres
cause i've managed a few. Profitability without the expense of lousy heck
care attitude staff and without the expense of an un-prepared environment
ie. not enough pencils, not enough bread, not enough books, etc for the
total number of enrolment in a centre. Profit yes, but do not shortchange
customers. Who are they? The customers are really the children. If they're happy, the parents will be happy. The parents will be more than
happy to pay any price, premium or non-premium.
From a customer point of view, when I pay over $1000 a month, I expect to see no less than Lego blocks, and not any other no name brand. I bought one big box of Lego bricks, 1800 pieces, for less than $100 dollars ! How much less profits can they make ? A box of Lego can last for many years. There is a difference between good quality toys and other lesser quality toys.
My point is only that with the money I save (from not paying the exorbitant fees), I not only can buy quality toys, I can also build a wonderful library of a few hundred children's books, something which I have not seen in any CCs. I do not mean that expensive toys are essential for a child's development, these are only beneficial
My boy attends a half day PCF kindergarten, only $100 a month. Actually I only pay $50 because of government subsidy through CDA. They don't have expensive toys. Their teachers don't speak like ang moh. But I am absolutely fine. I get what I pay for. That is most important. -
We all take parenting seriously. Why else would we call ourselves KiasuParents? In our earnest attempts at being better parents to our children, we learn from others through talking to relatives, friends, and an open community such as the Internet. We all try different things and we have our share of successes and failures. Some things work for some people but not for others. But the whole point about an open forum is that everyone is free to comment, compliment or criticise. If we have a point to make, we make it. There will be those that support our views, and others who don’t. But the key to learning is to keep an OPEN mind, and to listen to the critics of our points of view to understand their position so that we can get the bigger picture instead of being stuck in our own perception.
There is no need to agree with everything that others say. But there is a need to recognize that while we are all doing the same job, ie. parenting, we all have different skills and motivations which lead us to make different decisions that are relevant to our specific situations. As long as our actions are grounded on love for our children, here is no right or wrong in parenting, just what is more or less relevant to each parent. Some parents can afford to spend more time with their children than others. Some parents prefer to outsource their children’s education to others. Can we really say which parenting approach is better without fully considering the circumstances of each case?
I love reading all the posts from Tamarind, insider, buds, lizawa, sashimi, etc. There are too many to list. I do not agree with everything that is posted, but I respect each and every one as a dedicated parent whose love for their children comes through from the words that ring of endless days and nights of frustration and hardship that comes along with our tag of being a PARENT. Every post challenges my own views of being a good parent - the ones I agree with I try to incorporate in my views; the ones I disagree with I simply disagree with no loss of respect to the poster whom I believe is simply saying what he/she believes in. Who am I to say that my views should be the WAY that will work for every parent under any and every condition and situation?
So, in my most humble opinion, for us to benefit from an open forum, the 3 key conditions that every participant must do are
1) to maintain an open mind, and
2) to respect each other as parents with the best intentions for our own children;
3) to learn to agree to disagree. -
ChiefKiasu:
The above conditions are not enough, just to add 3 Rs and expand on your R.So, in my most humble opinion, for us to benefit from an open forum, the 3 key conditions that every participant must do are
1) to maintain an open mind, and
2) to respect each other as parents with the best intentions for our own children;
3) to learn to agree to disagree.
1. Post Reasonably
2. Write Responsibly (social responsibility as this is public forum)
3. Be Realistic with expectations otherwise do something other than whining
4. Seek to Respect and Thou will be Respected (expanding on chief's point)
Yes, we can agree to disagree. I do not intend to convince anyone. Messages need to be internalised, no one can force it. -
I just watched a TV program on Channel 8 this afternoon. Zoe Tay was showing off her collections of many Louis Vuitton and Hermes bags.
During this time of recession, where many people were retrenched, it is really insensitive of her to show off. Each bag costs more than the monthly household income of many families. And for those who were retrenched, she is really rubbing salt into the wound.
The forum is like a TV show. Whatever we write, is open for the whole world to read. Is it really possible to please everyone ?
Every one has a different set of problems. Someone’s problem may seem like nothing to others, but it may be very important to that person. How can anyone else be the judge and say that he/she is whining ? -
Ok, back to children with average learning abilities...
My ds1, who has been taking swimming lessons for a year, although progresses well by my standards (cos I can't swim :roll: ), is lagging behind his peers (cos his peers had progressed to other stages under the same coach while he is still stuck at the current level...for 2 terms). His motor skills has all along been rather poor and the swim strokes coordination is his main weakness.
Assuming if he doesn't show significant improvements by the end of the year, should I let him continue? It is also pretty difficult to just let him 'swim for leisure', as he tends to just 'play with water' if it is not lesson time. -
insider,
Ya. Most kids will play with water during non-lesson time, only a handful diligently practice their strokes/swim.
I find that this coach is the best of the 5 that i had came across. ‘Mis-match’ of coach issue can easily be solved, but i had a nagging feeling that it has to do with motor skills.
Yes, I agree that swimming is a survival skill…but is swimming a ‘learn-able’ skill? or do you need some ‘inborn affiliation with water’ to know how to swim? sorry…i’m not a swimmer/hates the pool/went for swimming lessons, passed, yet dunno how to swim…while some of the people i know, never had swimming lessons, but swims like a fish envy
And…at 7yo, is there still a chance to improve one’s motorskills (aka be less clumsy)? and how?
TIA. -
hi jedamum, of course a 7 year old can improve on motor skills! We don't finish growing till 18 years old and it just take more practice and hard work to improve. I think swimming is totally learn-able, just that it might take time
I am one of those that took a loooong time to learn how to swim. Think I started from 7 yrs old too and when every body else is swimming independently, I am still lagging behind. I think it was way more than one year before I can make the 100m lap and I was the last batch under my coach to go for the bronze medal exam...and some more barely make it. The only difference, is during my time they don't really focus on different stages so as long as I continue with lessons I just continue lor.
However, swimming is sort of like learning to ride a bicycle. Once you got the hang of it, you can progress quite easily. The 8 laps which my coach make me do for the bronze exam was a break through. First time I swam more than one lap without resting (not too sure but I think I was at least learning for 2-3 years then) after that, the higher levels start to come much more easily and I finally complete all the levels at about the same time as my peers. Am extremely thankful that my mum just tirelessly bring us swimming each week for the 6 years we learn swimming even though she must have been wondering if all her $$ is going down the drain with my average/slower than normal learning ability :love:
now my boy also like me, hianz. Have been swimming for 1 semester and can't even kick properly or even float without my help. just have to persist ... . It is not a skill that can be master in a short time.
And I think it is okay to just let the kids play with water before and after lessons. As they progress as a group, their play will gradually involve more real swimming.... probably not for practicing, more for competition and fun. -
mincy:
ooo....very comforting to hear your experience.hi jedamum, of course a 7 year old can improve on motor skills! We don't finish growing till 18 years old and it just take more practice and hard work to improve. I think swimming is totally learn-able, just that it might take time
think it's too late for me to master MY motor skills! :roll:
just the other day while lunching out, my ds1 dropped his chopsticks. just when i was about to open my mouth with the usual words, i dropped my fishball! :lol:insider:
he tends to trip when he runs....just as i tend to spill if i carry a tray of food! :oops:7 years old never too late to improve one’s motor skills. But if your son’s ‘intelligence’ is not so much in terms of kinesthetic, then it’s actually OK to be if he doesn’t prefer to do things that are more physical as long as he can move (walk / run / jump / skip / etc) with ease (“clumsy” sounds a bit ‘worrying’ to me).
What’s his coach’s comments about his motor skills / swimming skills?
I have this nagging hunch that you are ‘transmitting’ the ‘negative ions’ to him sub-consciously and making it a self-fulfilling prophecy that he may end up like you… then you may not be the right person to bring your son for his swimming lessons (if you have been the one bringing him there).
yes! thanks for reminding me about the self-fulfilling prophecy thingy.
we bring him to swim as a family...it is the self-taught swimmer dad that i have to pacify to give the little boy more time to get his legs kicking in the right direction. :roll:
if he is not a kinesthetic learner and doesn't prefer to do physical activities, should i let it be, or try to introduce more physical activities in hope to 'toughen' him up? :? -
Jedamum, if it comforts you further, I only learn how to swim on my own in the uni days. Some things cannot be rushed, I was rushed at age 6 and had a bad experience. It turned out that I never dared go near the water until 19, bad water phobia. But at 19, I taught myself to swim. Being self-taught I may not be fast but I have lots of stamina to swim forever…cos I have mastered the breathing techniques.
If your child trips often, please check for flat-foot with a podatrist. It may be a symptom of that which makes him appear clumsy. If there is really an issue in that area, then we can discuss further else at least put your mind at ease. -
ks2me:
Thanks for sharing!Jedamum, if it comforts you further, I only learn how to swim on my own in the uni days. Some things cannot be rushed.
If your child trips often, please check for flat-foot with a podatrist. It may be a symptom of that which makes him appear clumsy. If there is really an issue in that area, then we can discuss further else at least put your mind at ease.
Flat-foot? Something new... will check on that. Thanks!
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