All About Bullying
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I agree
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As a society I think bullying gets swept under the rug too many times. Perhaps it could be time for someone with time/resources on their hands to head up an initiative against bullying - on a nation wide scale? This kind of thing cannot go to MP for help...prob need some people to band together and start a non-profit to go around schools (endorsed by MOE of course) and talk about bullying etc etc...from what i found online there is these guys:
http://www.cabcy.org.sg/
But honestly, I haven't really heard of them....
Perhaps can liaise with your respective schools and see if cabcy can come down to speak in schools? -
Hey all,
You may want see this video about bully. The students are really getting out of hand.
https://www.facebook.com/christina.lin. ... nref=story -
rakutenten:
True. Real case here.
BULLY wont be ostracized. In fact BULLY in class gather more bully to join in the act.
THE VICTIM is the one that will be ostracized instead.
A situation where a teacher jumped to conclusion after hearing one side of the story. The bully appeared to be angelic and twisted the incident to her advantage. Bully acting as the victim. The bully is more well articulated than the bullied who could not express well to explain grievances. The bully is also more popular among classmates. Teacher already passed judgement and even called the parents up to complain about that (bullied) child, refusing to listen to any explanation. In this case, teacher became an accessory, to the bully. -
sleepy:
My primary school kid had a few instances of victim of joke went overboard. Crying attracted attention but the peers said it was a joke and started laughing that he was a crybaby and a few others joined in too. The teacher stepped in to send the bully to reflection corner (I hope this is SOP and not because I had written in to complain after the first incident). No, parents will not informed as it is a small matter and no scars, and I knew of the incident because son wear his emotions on his sleeve. I know it is not correct but I told him to hit back if they did not stop after the first hit. He has this principle of giving people some chances, so so far quite ok. This was I think the third physical incident that happened in three years, twice were results of \"just playing\" and once he tried to stop two boys from quarrel and got punched. It could likely be character wise. Ds1 had no encounter of physical incident partly because he knows when to exit from danger zone, and his peers knows he has boundaries. However, Ds2 likes to mingle with whoever who plays with him and the playing sometimes get too far.
True. Real case here.rakutenten:
BULLY wont be ostracized. In fact BULLY in class gather more bully to join in the act.
THE VICTIM is the one that will be ostracized instead.
A situation where a teacher jumped to conclusion after hearing one side of the story. The bully appeared to be angelic and twisted the incident to her advantage. Bully acting as the victim. The bully is more well articulated than the bullied who could not express well to explain grievances. The bully is also more popular among classmates. Teacher already passed judgement and even called the parents up to complain about that (bullied) child, refusing to listen to any explanation. In this case, teacher became an accessory, to the bully.
I showed DS2 the viral video and we discussed about what to do if he is a victim or victim's friend. He made the mistake of suggesting confrontation, which is very his nature. I suggested standing up to leave and report (if he is victim), or go get the victim (ask if he wants to leave)and leave and report. No use to confront to threaten to report teacher because incident already happened. It is as much a by standers role to play, I feel.
For the unfortunate viral video case, I read that an adjunct teacher was in class (correct me if I am wrong). No wonder the victims felt helpless. -
jedamum:
[/quote]I had given my son the same advice. A classmate bullied him once in class without teacher supervision. He didn't fight back but he also didn't report it to his homeroom teacher. Good thing I know when my son is upset or not. He told me what happened two days after the incident.
True. Real case here.sleepy:
[quote=\"rakutenten\"]
BULLY wont be ostracized. In fact BULLY in class gather more bully to join in the act.
THE VICTIM is the one that will be ostracized instead.
I suggested standing up to leave and report (if he is victim), or go get the victim (ask if he wants to leave)and leave and report. No use to confront to threaten to report teacher because incident already happened. It is as much a by standers role to play, I feel.
As a parent, I was bothered by how reluctant my son had been about the issue. I feel I need to show him more that he can trust me more than anyone else. I could've comforted him since day 1.
I showed the video to him too. This is an eye-opener to parents and children about the realities of bullying in class. It is a serious problem that needs to be attended to. -
It’s a real challenge helping my child cope with bullying in school. It’s hard for him to manage his emotions and know what to do when he is being bullied in school.
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From personal experience, I was bullied quite a bit in pri sch and during the lower secondary sch days and my parents complaining to my teachers don’t help the matter, instead I was ostracized by my classmates (most are the better friends with the bullies) and the bullying continue when the teachers are not around.
In the end my dad taught me to fight back and beat the bullies at their game. So i started mocking the bullies at stuff they are poor at (e.g. fail maths exam) and get into fights with them whenever when they try to be physical with me.
But i must say, i did get into some trouble with the discipline master but after I started this in Sec 2. The bullying stop and I even got better grades in exams. I am not saying this is the best approach but it worked for me and taught me to step up for myself. -
redpeasant:
Good thing your dad taught u how to deal with the bullies. sometimes if u cant beat them, join them. but of course to a certain extent only. as long don't cross the line of someone being injured seriously or life threatening, its ok. we must learn how to stand up for ourselves when nobody will.From personal experience, I was bullied quite a bit in pri sch and during the lower secondary sch days and my parents complaining to my teachers don't help the matter, instead I was ostracized by my classmates (most are the better friends with the bullies) and the bullying continue when the teachers are not around.
In the end my dad taught me to fight back and beat the bullies at their game. So i started mocking the bullies at stuff they are poor at (e.g. fail maths exam) and get into fights with them whenever when they try to be physical with me.
But i must say, i did get into some trouble with the discipline master but after I started this in Sec 2. The bullying stop and I even got better grades in exams. I am not saying this is the best approach but it worked for me and taught me to step up for myself. -
Honestly many of us can always share about each experience on tackling bullying issue (which is great). After listening to this stories and probably to try out certain methods to test out whether is works for them. Sometimes what would work better is to facilitate such that a unique solution comes out from the dynamics and environment that the kid is under.
For example, a kid being hit because he is small. This kid not only need to know how to deal with this bully, getting teacher to support and etc, we need to facilitate such that the kid is willing to open up and look into what causes him to be bullied, resolving his trauma etc. If not, his character will be shaped to a certain direction (but then again we cant say if its no good or bad). Dealing with his trauma now is impt because years of reinforcement of the same situation will means the kid will be wearing pieces of armor. There are cases where the kid grow up to be well, but that is not often seen and is also because of certain conditions and opportunity that help to open the kid up.
just my 2 cents
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