All About Parenting Teenagers

[cheerygirl]

I need advise… how do you all cope with your teenage daughter visiting a boy’s house? will u go to school and talk to the boy, teacher etc? How you view teenager daughter having bgr?

[sharonkhoo]

cheerygirl:

I need advise.... how do you all cope with your teenage daughter visiting a boy's house? will u go to school and talk to the boy, teacher etc? How you view teenager daughter having bgr?

What age teen? Can you give more details? My response will be different for 13 as opposed to 19! We have made it clear to our girls (now 16 and 18) - no single dates until past 18, and only if they are seriously thinking that the guy is \"husband\" possibility. And we expect to have met and approved him first! So far, the issue hasn't arisen. Group mixed outings allowed with prior parental approval, but we would not allow our daughters to go to a boy's house unless in a group of known and trusted friends, including the boy. And while they are under 18, with some responsible adult present. Mostly, we prefer they hang out in somewhere more public - mall, church, park etc.

[BlueBells]

I share the same view as slmkhoo.


Since my girls were very young, we list down the following rules :

1. Outing with friends will need prior approval, some exceptions may be granted case by case.
2. I need to be given 2 friends' phone number from the same group who is going out together (ever wonder how in the movies, parents always called their child's friend when they can't locate their child?? How did they get the numbers?? So I start collating ... )
3. No clubbing till wee hours / no overnight stayout - we will pick them up (I also said they better be truthful about where they will be, because I will spot check (so far has not happen yet, but hey, it works!)
4. Never get drunk. No drugs.
5. Project work - better be at my house then someone else's - I will provide free flow food and drinks.
6. It's ok to have close friends from opposite gender, but no commitment to relationship till they are 18.


I find it easier to discuss and set rules before things happen, so children are well aware of the boundary they can tread and make informed decisions.

[jedamum]

I think teenagers age considered between 13~16? 17 onwards young adult…should be ba ?

[sharonkhoo]

jedamum:

I think teenagers age considered between 13~16? 17 onwards young adult....should be ba ?

Depends ... technically, \"teen\" is 13-19. And based on my girls, I don't consider 17 \"young adult\"!

[zbear]

slmkhoo:

cheerygirl:

I need advise.... how do you all cope with your teenage daughter visiting a boy's house? will u go to school and talk to the boy, teacher etc? How you view teenager daughter having bgr?

What age teen? Can you give more details? My response will be different for 13 as opposed to 19! We have made it clear to our girls (now 16 and 18) - no single dates until past 18, and only if they are seriously thinking that the guy is \"husband\" possibility. And we expect to have met and approved him first! So far, the issue hasn't arisen. Group mixed outings allowed with prior parental approval, but we would not allow our daughters to go to a boy's house unless in a group of known and trusted friends, including the boy. And while they are under 18, with some responsible adult present. Mostly, we prefer they hang out in somewhere more public - mall, church, park etc.

I told my dd right from the start when she started going to Sec School - get yr priorities rite. Go n pursue a good education up to Uni first and then start dating after A levels. So far so good, along the way, there were boys who showed interest in her but she ignored them. She only interact with the boys on the basis that its strictly platonic friendship.

[cheerygirl]

Teens between 14-16 v headache period. It’s sch holiday soon and my teen frds has found vacation job working in banquets and my teenage girl wants to join in too. But her dad is really skeptical. She’s only 14.

[sharonkhoo]

cheerygirl:

Teens between 14-16 v headache period. It's sch holiday soon and my teen frds has found vacation job working in banquets and my teenage girl wants to join in too. But her dad is really skeptical. She's only 14.

If it's just that you don't think she can take it, maybe talk to her about how tough it can be. I would say that 14 may be a bit young unless she is quite mature and strong. If it's other reasons (like company, hanging out too much etc), you may want to be stricter. My kids are the opposite - they don't want to work! And they are so busy with other stuff that they have no stretch of time to work. I'm trying to persuade my 16yo to get a 2-week work stint at the end of the year just for the experience, but she doesn't seem keen.

[kitty2]

cheerygirl:

Teens between 14-16 v headache period. It's sch holiday soon and my teen frds has found vacation job working in banquets and my teenage girl wants to join in too. But her dad is really skeptical. She's only 14.

You can let her try my niece was just like your dd and she only worked for 2 days, she gave up! Banquets job is very tough, all the utensils are very heavy and not easy to deal with customers. Just make sure she doesn't sign any contract .

[ngjim2]

Hi cheerygirl, I worked in a banquet before. Just sharing for your reference.


Pro: Good exposure to service sector and develop customer service skills. Kept one very occupied because there are many events during holidays. Trained to be punctual as some banquet are very strict especially those 5 stars hotel. Learn the meaning of hard earned money. See the contrast of blue and white collar job. Free lunch/dinner!

Con: Banquet usually ends late. Rushing for last bus near midnight. Breaks anything pays, there is no student rates ok. Tumble the entire utensil tray during event gets FIRED. Weekends are usually burnt that would means lesser family time.

If decide to take up the job, best state the committed time and dates way in advance. Some students would prefer to start their studies or tone down 1-2weeks before school reopen. State it clearly. Those weeks still are still high demand for students doing banquet. Be fair to the employer by letting them know these in advance.