Childcare or no Childcare?

[sashimi]

The one and biggest advantage to doing that, for me, is that they get a chance to socialize. In fact, the ability to socialize and learning social etiquette (even among kids) is an inherent missing factor in home-grown kids.



BUT! There will be a cost, among them:

1) Illnesses, spreads fast among kids in childcare (advantage: builds immunity, disadvantage: er, a lot).

2) Singlish. Thanks to the poor standards of English in childcare centres, even if your kids speak proper English all this time, once you send them to childcare, you can say goodbye to proper grammar.

I’m sure there’s more. But by and large, there’s little else that can substitute for social skills training, so I would encourage it.

Anyway, if you can find (and afford) very good CCs, you will find that there are many other unexpected delights as well.

[schellen]

You should try sending them half day first if you or them don’t feel that secure. Then increase to full day. Cos otherwise when they go to pri sch, it will be a big shock to them. Academically, they may cope but mentally, maybe not immediate and this may affect them academically too.

[ksfor kids]

Thanks for the advice. I went to see two CCC today and feels that the enviroment is very ‘cold’. are all centers the same?


Everyone tells me CC will help improve on their social skill. So if they are already very sociable n independent now, what other advantage will there be for them to be in CC?

I am trying very hard not to think too selfish on my part. I have stay at home for 5 years now, and would like to get back my social life too. Is this being a selfish mother? Is this fair to the kids?

[buds]

Heyya ksforkids,


You mentioned u have 2 kiddies, are they twins?

Having stayed home for that long of a time may
make you feel very protective of any other plc
less than the best, for your kiddies... hence still
feeling it may not be necessary that they require
external environment to assist in their developments.

Would you consider a kindergarten instead, since u
aren't working? It'll be only 3 hrs or 4 hrs depending
on the centre, for the kids to be in a sch environment.

As for social life, the short hours they are
in school might be sufficient in the meantime, at
least until you find a more realiable place for them
to stay half day or full day.. btw chilcare also offer
flexi days, if you're still keen on childcare..

>What do you deem as a \"cold\" cc, and what wud
seem like a warm and ideal cc in your opinion... care
to share?

[ksfor kids]

Hi buds


No I have 2 kids with 2 yrs apart from each other. Actually, the elder one is already in K1, 3hrs sessions. the younger one just enter playgroup this yr too but 1.5hrs only.

i agree we might be too protective with their everything at home and very hesitate to giveup their home routine. this could be one reason we are so hold back.

‘cold’ cc, like my hubby says just like army camp. Go in follow the routines and rules then pack your bag go home when time up. imagine we adults, go to work our boss gives us the feel, u must obey the rules here, no otherwise. Would we like it??? i would leave n look for greener pasture. But children they dont know how to describe to us, so it really depends on parents FIRST feel about the centers!!

aiyo yo, i am still convincing myself, let them go. is either now or later. The hurdle is so high now that i cannot jump over it and i seems to be in a lost jungle finding for the exit to this matter.

[mintcc]

[quote]I have stay at home for 5 years now, and would like to get back my social life too. Is this being a selfish mother? Is this fair to the kids?[/quote]
No, I don't think it is selfish ...you have selflessly sacrifice your social life for 5 years for them. I think there's always a time that we should let the kids go explore the world without us...not to do so is unfair :celebrate:

I really don't think all childcare is cold. Been to those which I feel is cold/ fake too. Go with your instinct and :siam: those and shop till you find one you are comfortable with.

To me, some of the unexpected benefits of childcare is for my boy to learn independence. He learn how to wear his shoes and eat n drink by himself 3 months after starting childcare which I think will not be likely under the protective pampering of grandma and maid. He also speak more Chinese and make some friends and get to go to excursions that we don't usually bring him to. (e.g. Disney on ice)

The bad part is, yes, the Singlish...TV, get sick more often and the teachers in school like to use candies and sweet to bribe/reward the kids.

Do you work? If not, then perhaps you can also consider sending them to enrichment while you go about your social life? Maybe that might be less hard to do and when they are use to it can send them to half day childcare followed by the full day ones?

[ksfor kids]

Hi


thanks for the nice reply and advice.

If we are talking about 'separation anxiety', then i am the one not ready to let them go looking at their behaviour at home now. interms of independence, i have no worries. My maid is actually having a hard time trying to help them sometime. They are too independent, i would say. Is just the mother instinct that tell me they are not ready to be in cc. But again when is ready??? :idea:

I do somehow agree with mincy, not all childcare are 'cold' to be fair. But to find one that i feel is right, is just not something we can rush into.

Just to share, I bought both of them to the cc and let them have a feel and told them what will happen. My elder daughter tell me very firmly, NO. she does not want to be there. Should i be more hard-hearted in this case! just tell her my decision is final!! I believe parenthood should not be so, i believe in democracy at home to a certain extent. How many parents out there will support me in this case, just wonder?/ Of course again, i dont let them have their ways all time. is case to case.

I am currently working at home when they nap or at school (3hrs session), doing my familiar trade with old customer support. easy job but cannot commit my time to meet new customers and so on...

[mintcc]

[quote]My elder daughter tell me very firmly, NO. she does not want to be there. Should i be more hard-hearted in this case! just tell her my decision is final!! I believe parenthood should not be so, i believe in democracy at home to a certain extent.[/quote]
I also believe in some democracy, but I try not to say my decision is final because I said so... may be can sent the younger one first? The older one may be can get some compromise with a half day childcare? After all that won't be too different from 3 hrs kinddy? You never know, after she try she might like it...

[smurf]

Kids are never ready for cc. Parents have to be the one who have to 'work hard' to try to explain to them why they have to go, blah blah blah. Many times, parents are the one who do not want to let go. Children adapt fairly well, just have to work hard to try to make going to cc fun.


I tried to put my boy at full day cc before. Sometimes, he will wake up telling me he doesn't want to go. Probably at that time, I didn't really explain to him why he has to go to cc, etc. Maybe full day cc is a bit too long for him. Staying in an enclose area for full day, 5 times a week is no joke.
So after 2 mths, I stop him from going. and he is now attending 3 hrs kindy, which he likes very much.hahha. :lol:

[ksfor kids]

After seeing the replies from all of u, i think i have to work harder to convince them and myself or half day session is a good solution for me to at least let them experience. Maybe, they will really enjoy after they try.


I just dont want to use’force’ in this situation. Willingness is what i am looking for. I believe only then they will enjoy their time there and learn.