All About Parenting Teenagers

[momkiasu]

My eldest son is 16 this year, definitely the age of mischief and rebel. However, he is quite matured for his age as he know what is right to do and what is wrong. He has a group of friends who always study with him and form outings together. I have met many of them and they are very obedient children. It is a mixed group so I’m a little worried whether he has any relations with the girls in the group.

[happy to be mum]

can I ask is it a norm to give a phone to teenagers?


I have heard colleagues / friends complaining that their kids are spending a lot of time with their phone. I am worried whether my DS will misuse his phone if I give one to him permanently.

[Pen88n]

happy to be mum:

can I ask is it a norm to give a phone to teenagers?


I have heard colleagues / friends complaining that their kids are spending a lot of time with their phone. I am worried whether my DS will misuse his phone if I give one to him permanently.

Well, you can say that it has become a norm and it is rare to have a kid not having a phone. I gave my boy a phone when he reached secondary school but I controlled by using prepaid card. He has limitation on calls and data usage on his cheap smartphone (not iphone, not Samsung ). However, with wifi in school and at home, he can still do a lot of stuff - I can only explain the addiction issues and so far, he has been through the \"too much gaming stage\" himself, realised it and exercised some control nowadays.

[sharonkhoo]

happy to be mum:

can I ask is it a norm to give a phone to teenagers?


I have heard colleagues / friends complaining that their kids are spending a lot of time with their phone. I am worried whether my DS will misuse his phone if I give one to him permanently.

Seems to be, at least in Singapore. Both my girls got phones as soon as we got back to Singapore (when they were 14 and 16). Too many things in schools are disseminated by phone, and lots of group discussions take place that way too. However, I laid down some guidelines when they got their phones, and they have been pretty good about it. Although one does use her phone quite a bit (the other doesn't), she still has time to read, do other stuff, spend time with us etc.

I think the key is to set the rules up front and in detail, spell out the consequences for non-compliance, and convince your kid that the phones are a tool, not a life.

[happy to be mum]

thanks slmkhoo & Pen88n


I guess it is inevitable but I do get worried if he does not know how to limit himself, for example if he upload funny pictures online or surf those undesirable websites. I better give him some rules & guidelines about appropriate phone / web usage.

[happymom]

useful thread :rahrah:

[Busybugz73]

Question - have your teen ever lied to you? If yes, how did you handle it?

[sharonkhoo]

Busybugz73:

Question - have your teen ever lied to you? If yes, how did you handle it?

How serious is the lie? Could it be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation? I don't recall my kids telling me outright lies as teenagers. Mostly \"inaccuracies\" which I accept as miscommunication, and never about things that really matter. I have sometimes told them to be more accurate in their info.

When they were small and they told their first outright lie, I did talk to them about truthfulness etc. In general, we try not to give them cause to lie.

[Busybugz73]

It’s not misunderstanding or miscommunication. It was a lie because it was something DS did but when I confronted him, he said he didn’t do it. The act itself wasn’t a big deal but the fact that he lied hurts a lot.

[Funz]

I guess then we have to look at why they lied.


Lie because of self preservation, fear of repercussions, because they know they will disappoint you or because they feel that they have not done anything wrong.

I think most of the times, it is because of fear of repercussions and disappointing us. We also have to watch how we approach them when we ‘confront’ them. Our body language, tone, etc will either encourage them to own up or stick to their lie or worse, become defensive.

Little white lies, yes, I’ve caught DD at it before. Things like suppose to do something, told me done already but did not do, that kind of stuff.