How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?

[MyPillow]

Leeyl ,I am similar situation like u

Recall back , just wonder why she so \" thrifty \" or stingy .
Now I know , she need to build her retirement nest right n it's a lot . Now mama commented dunno how to spend :scratchhead: I no need her $ now coz we can build up with our bare hands since we are both working ( did not Rec any inheritance yet)
We are thankful , our parents help us to build internal strength

The qn is we can b trained in this way
But can our kids , they are ultra strawberries genre , the world they are in future is going to be vast different !

[zbear]

lee_yl:

Resentment? No lah, no resentment, only bear the grudge for 20 years. :rotflmao:

At the end of the day, how to resent my own mother? Guess she also has to plan for her own retirement.

Whether such upbringing will result in a reversal behaviour on the children, I think very much depends on the individual but I believe nobody will hate their parents. I did inherit some of her thrifty habits.

PS: you are blessed with caring & generous parents.

Thanks lee_yl.

You are right - it all depends on each individual. As to whether a child will hate their parent? Well, I have an old classmate - her mum controlled her so much that in the end she went berserk and moved out of her mother's home becos she could not stay under the same roof as her mum. Maybe it's a rare exception but why take chances to break family ties?

I feel communication between parent n child is very important. What your mum did is with good intentions but it's not communicated. This can easily lead to misunderstandings which can last for years.

Whatever I do, I will tell my kids becos I want open communication lines and I treat them like adults. I want them to understand my actions n if they feel that I am not doing right, I am open to their opinions n feedback. My kids also shared with me of what is going on in their lives n their goals. I will give my opinions too. So far so good.

I have seen my kids work so hard in their studies n i don't want them to go berserk. I just told them to do their best n I will give them a helping hand when things don't go well. But they refused my help and stubbornly want to try on their own to achieve financial independence.

Perhaps I am blessed with sensible children????

[MrsKiasu]

It may be too early for me to say as my kids are still young..just based on my own experience..dont quite understand why one must undergo sufferings in order to understand sufferings. We should pass down as much love as possible to our kids..me still guilty of that and I am learning :sad:

[MrsKiasu]

zbear:

lee_yl:

Resentment? No lah, no resentment, only bear the grudge for 20 years. :rotflmao:

At the end of the day, how to resent my own mother? Guess she also has to plan for her own retirement.

Whether such upbringing will result in a reversal behaviour on the children, I think very much depends on the individual but I believe nobody will hate their parents. I did inherit some of her thrifty habits.

PS: you are blessed with caring & generous parents.

Thanks lee_yl.

You are right - it all depends on each individual. As to whether a child will hate their parent? Well, I have an old classmate - her mum controlled her so much that in the end she went berserk and moved out of her mother's home becos she could not stay under the same roof as her mum. Maybe it's a rare exception but why take chances to break family ties?

I feel communication between parent n child is very important. What your mum did is with good intentions but it's not communicated. This can easily lead to misunderstandings which can last for years.

Whatever I do, I will tell my kids becos I want open communication lines and I treat them like adults. I want them to understand my actions n if they feel that I am not doing right, I am open to their opinions n feedback. My kids also shared with me of what is going on in their lives n their goals. I will give my opinions too. So far so good.

I have seen my kids work so hard in their studies n i don't want them to go berserk. I just told them to do their best n I will give them a helping hand when things don't go well. But they refused my help and stubbornly want to try on their own to achieve financial independence.

Perhaps I am blessed with sensible children????

Yes zbear, i would think so..you have sensible kids there.

[lee_yl]

MyPillow:

Leeyl ,I am similar situation like u

Recall back , just wonder why she so \" thrifty \" or stingy .
Now I know , she need to build her retirement nest right n it's a lot . Now mama commented dunno how to spend :scratchhead: I no need her $ now coz we can build up with our bare hands since we are both working ( did not Rec any inheritance yet)
We are thankful , our parents help us to build internal strength

The qn is we can b trained in this way
But can our kids , they are ultra strawberries genre , the world they are in future is going to be vast different !

Like you say, our parents help us to build up our internal strength through training, so likewise, our children can be similarly trained too lah. Thriftiness (and financial literacy) should be trained from young.

[janet88]

My parents’ first holiday to Europe was the year my father turned 55. They went to Venice (went on gondola), London, Germany, Paris (got down from tour bus and left after touching the base of Eiffel Tower) and Switzerland. I don’t have a travel bug because I don’t like to live with just luggage.

Hubby has travelled to quite a few countries on biz trips but I couldn’t accompany him as the kids were still very young. I am a practical person…I like physical items, not the sightseeing but shopping.

Mum had a knee replacement surgery. It cost quite a bit. I do worry about such health issues. As medical costs go up, I really don’t know how much is sufficient and it is worrying.

[lee_yl]

zbear:

lee_yl:

Resentment? No lah, no resentment, only bear the grudge for 20 years. :rotflmao:

At the end of the day, how to resent my own mother? Guess she also has to plan for her own retirement.

Whether such upbringing will result in a reversal behaviour on the children, I think very much depends on the individual but I believe nobody will hate their parents. I did inherit some of her thrifty habits.

PS: you are blessed with caring & generous parents.

Thanks lee_yl.

You are right - it all depends on each individual. As to whether a child will hate their parent? Well, I have an old classmate - her mum controlled her so much that in the end she went berserk and moved out of her mother's home becos she could not stay under the same roof as her mum. Maybe it's a rare exception but why take chances to break family ties?

I feel communication between parent n child is very important. What your mum did is with good intentions but it's not communicated. This can easily lead to misunderstandings which can last for years.

Whatever I do, I will tell my kids becos I want open communication lines and I treat them like adults. I want them to understand my actions n if they feel that I am not doing right, I am open to their opinions n feedback. My kids also shared with me of what is going on in their lives n their goals. I will give my opinions too. So far so good.

I have seen my kids work so hard in their studies n i don't want them to go berserk. I just told them to do their best n I will give them a helping hand when things don't go well. But they refused my help and stubbornly want to try on their own to achieve financial independence.

Perhaps I am blessed with sensible children????

Yes, I think communication is very important. When I was young, I did ask my mum why she so stingy one. Her reply was she has 3 children to feed.

TBH, sometimes I am quite mad when my youngest brother can always get what he asked for, unlike me and my sister. Beside open comms, another important aspect is that the parent must be fair and even handed to all their children.

Well, no doubt there are strained parent-child relationships, but as we become parents ourselves, knowing what dilemma they went through plus seeing how much our parents have aged, a lot of resentment will disappear into thin air...

If my children would strive to achieve financial independence on their own just like yours, I would be most happy.

[sleepy]

lee_yl:

TBH, sometimes I am quite mad when my youngest brother can always get what he asked for, unlike me and my sister. Beside open comms, another important aspect is that the parent must be fair and even handed to all their children.

That era quite common for parents to 重男轻女. I have 2 brothers leh. 不平等待遇 is 家常便饭 lah. No point comparing. Will only result in resentment.

No fair treatment never mind, I treat myself very fairly at all times. Maybe that's how I became 大女人主义 instead
I don't resent my parents. I think I accepted that's how things are at home. Already achieved inner peace 2 decades ago.

[MrsKiasu]

My grandparents to my mom & mil also son comes first… very neutral to it.

[sleepy]

MrsKiasu:

It may be too early for me to say as my kids are still young..just based on my own experience..dont quite understand why one must undergo sufferings in order to understand sufferings. We should pass down as much love as possible to our kids..me still guilty of that and I am learning :sad:

Every time dd1 complained about me being too protective or too kaypoh about her life, I told her I wish I had a mum like me. I could have 少走一点冤枉路 if I had better guidance or advice instead of 自己摸索 and learned things the harder way

Funny lor, she actually agreed with me whenever I made that comment. Always nod her head. Chey, like that don't know she complain for what