Child leaving for overseas studies, how do you cope?

[Imp75]

thanks for your open-ness in sharing Esteema!


since this is a parents’ forum, are the depression set by our expectations for our kids or for broader matters like loss of closed kinship/betrayal etc? I can’t imagine if we parents get depressed over our kids? I mean have we come to such a stage?

[Estéema]

Depression can be very sudden & unexpected. Granted, s’times any events may hv triggered it.


My corporate lawyer caught by severe depression after all her 4 kids gone overseas for studies. She was lamenting given all her life to parents & siblings edn, then hubby & children. She said her life was meaningless coz she cared so much abt others but little to build her life.

So when she quited, she went into a spiral of self-searching, self-abasement before finally coming to awareness "I shld live my own life, do all those things I used to dream of doing…" to attain her self-actualization.

The brain and the heart are not very well understood, and we s’times undermine how little things can snowball (accumulate) to bring us to a state, where we think it’s only happening bcoz of an empty nest.

The human condition needs us to reconnect to our deeper self, before we can raise up to give again. The next time, hopefully we give & take in a more balance situation.

I reckon everyone’s journey may be different, the cause & effect may not be of same source, but treating the origins of the needs or source of the depression is more impt than just looking at the resulting depression.

My journey in depression hv taught me much, so I dare not make light of Pink’s situation. But sharing recognition of symptoms & possible action to help relieve/uplift depressive moods. Think it’s worth sharing. Studies shows women shares a lot more (open heart) and live longer. Viola! Coping skills for uplifting depression.

[pinky]

Hi janet88 the medication I am taking are Lexapro n Artivon(hope I got the spelling correct). Was told by the psychiatrist that it may takes about 3 weeks to see the effect and I may have to take them for at least 3 months.

[pinky]

Thank u Esteema for your encouragement n sharing. Yes, in my case the depression happened so suddenly. I woke up one night n started feeling very sad because my son is going away for the next 5 years. I won’t be able to see him physically every day like the past and these started the panic attacks which made my heart racing, breaking out into sweat, nauseating and even though my husband was by my side, I still felt frightened. I didn’t even want to shower nor eat. I started to have suicidal thoughts bec I don’t want to go through the torture and I believe the problem will die with me.

It’s during these times that I know I need professional help.

[ChiefKiasu]

pinky:

Thank u Esteema for your encouragement n sharing. Yes, in my case the depression happened so suddenly. I woke up one night n started feeling very sad because my son is going away for the next 5 years. I won't be able to see him physically every day like the past and these started the panic attacks which made my heart racing, breaking out into sweat, nauseating and even though my husband was by my side, I still felt frightened. I didn't even want to shower nor eat. I started to have suicidal thoughts bec I don't want to go through the torture and I believe the problem will die with me.

It's during these times that I know I need professional help.

Pinky, recognition of the problem itself is already half the cure!

I'm really glad that this discussion is happening because too often, depression is swept under the carpet as something self-inflicted and unimportant. We don't even know or acknowledge that it is even a problem at times. Open discussions will allow more of us to recognise the symptoms and seek medical help at an early stage before it festers into a larger problem.

[vinegar]

ChiefKiasu:

Pinky, recognition of the problem itself is already half the cure!

I'm really glad that this discussion is happening because too often, depression is swept under the carpet as something self-inflicted and unimportant. We don't even know or acknowledge that it is even a problem at times. Open discussions will allow more of us to recognise the symptoms and seek medical help at an early stage before it festers into a larger problem.

I always assume that depression will go away when the problem has resolved. But somehow the emotions is there.

Whenever I feel something is not right (insomnia, loss of appetite), I will start exercising more frequently & force myself to go out. Not sure if this is the right way to combat \"pre-depression\"?? But at least I sleep better...

[pinky]

I try to distract myself by doing other things or going out with friends but at the back of my head it’s always

OMG My son is leaving !!!
Anyone has similiar problem and how do you resolve it?

[janet88]

Estéema:

Yes. As Janet shared, I had uncontrollable weeping episodes, even in public. So I avoided going out too.

Think insomnia cld be sth else - menopausal?

Telling signs of depressions :- lack of appetite, disinterest in ppl & events, etc, weeping, some go into hysteria, reclusive, always sleeping day & night (too painful to wake up to reminders of realities).

Oscillating btwn not able to fall asleep last few years & falling asleep to wake up in wee hours of morning not able to sleep again. I avoid taking medication now that I've no depression. Just to let nature takes its cause. Recently, was able to sleep thro till morning again :imcool:

insomnia is one of the signs. for me, total lack of interest in everything. i refuse to leave the house or else just weep for no reason. i was given a generic version of anti-depressants but i developed rashes.
my depression is controlled but i wouldn't say i've recovered. there are times when i still feel very down but not in the dumps like before.

[janet88]

pinky:

Hi janet88 the medication I am taking are Lexapro n Artivon(hope I got the spelling correct). Was told by the psychiatrist that it may takes about 3 weeks to see the effect and I may have to take them for at least 3 months.

i think you have been given ativan...which is used to treat anxiety which falls under benzodiazepines.
i'm on lexapro too...it's been many years since i've started. i have generalized anxiety disorder.
doctor advised me to bring xanax wherever i go as a safety precaution. i had several panic attacks in the beginning...there was an incident when i had a panic attack while i was at times bookshop. i was hyperventilating and alone. my head was spinning badly. fortunately i had water and xanax with me. i must have given those around me a shock. i left the bright lights of the store, and found a bench...then took a quarter of xanax and started to breathe slowly.

[pinky]

Hi janet88 the panic attacks you experienced just came by itself? I don’t remember any triggering point but I will feel some hot flush before the fear starts. It really paralyze me.