Child leaving for overseas studies, how do you cope?

[MrsKiasu]

janet88:

Estéema:

Thank you for all the sharing here, Pinky, Janet88, MrsKaisu, Hercules, ....


We're not alone. Being open helps us journey with less self-doubts abt our physical/hormonal changes. We can't change these things, but we can direct our focus to more purposeful activities.

as we age, our hormones do not not respond as well compared to our younger days.
as women, being open and sharing our feelings give us a chance to relieve our frustrations. as our kids grow up, we parents are also trying to adapt to different stages. somehow, the men don't get it. My PMS can drive me nuts in certain months

yes, it really helps..

[vinegar]

Ya agree…sharing feelings help…


For me, i prefer to share my feelings with friends. For yrs I hv given up sharing my feelings n frustration wf dh. Hard to get him to understand n be understanding. Told him once I was very tired…menses came n he said: u woman v troublesome.

[janet88]

vinegar:

Ya agree..sharing feelings help..


For me, i prefer to share my feelings with friends. For yrs I hv given up sharing my feelings n frustration wf dh. Hard to get him to understand n be understanding. Told him once I was very tired..menses came n he said: u woman v troublesome.

i feel irritable before menses arrive and very lousy towards the end part of menses...doctor said it's because the hormones have not picked up. sometimes i do wish men have menses and PMS...then they will understand how we feel.

if my son goes overseas, i think i will miss him a great deal. if there is a day when he has to go overseas for attachment, what will i do?

[vinegar]

janet88:

vinegar:

Ya agree..sharing feelings help..


For me, i prefer to share my feelings with friends. For yrs I hv given up sharing my feelings n frustration wf dh. Hard to get him to understand n be understanding. Told him once I was very tired..menses came n he said: u woman v troublesome.

i feel irritable before menses arrive and very lousy towards the end part of menses...doctor said it's because the hormones have not picked up. sometimes i do wish men have menses and PMS...then they will understand how we feel.

if my son goes overseas, i think i will miss him a great deal. if there is a day when he has to go overseas for attachment, what will i do?

I wish men go thru childbirth & breastfeeding too :evil:

[pinky]

Hi janet88 I still cannot come to terms with our children growing up and leaving us. Maybe bec he is my only child. The bond will always be there. In my case he will be away at least 5 yrs. I was advised by the counsellor not to think of 5 years but take it that he can fly back during the annual summer vacation or I can visit him now and then. Just this morning I was very emotional as I listened to the radio DJ talking about Mother’s Day and how mothers wish their children will just give them a call or go home to take dinner with her. It’s a simple wish but nowasdays with our busy lifestyle, we kind of forgot about the little wish our mothers have. It just brought tears to my eyes.

Time for medication, I sign off now.

[janet88]

My daughter is very close to me…fortunately I have her around when son eventually enlists for NS. But he is my firstborn and the feeling is different, especially since he is born with cleft.

[pinky]

He may be away for NS but he will still be somewhere in Singapore.

[janet88]

pinky:

He may be away for NS but he will still be somewhere in Singapore.

he wants to work overseas

[lee_yl]

Pinky,


I believe that because he is your only child that’s why you feel so much anguish. As a SAHM myself, I am also very attached to my children thus, I dread the idea that my girls would one day be going overseas to study and I even imagine that they wouldn’t be coming back for good.

Since you are feeling depressed either way, you might as well seriously consider joining your son there, at least for a start. Ask your hubby to take leave (or even no pay leave) for 3-6 months to go with you and treat it as sight-seeing lor. Bring enough medication along with you. Depression is a medical condition, and with proper medication, plus the emotional support from your hubby and son with you over there, you should feel ok.

Since you brought up your son so well, maybe you can consider channelling your love, time & energy to join the foster parent scheme to help less fortunate kids?

[janet88]

hi Pinky,

does ativan make you drowsy? xanax is supposed to make one drowsy but the effects seem to work the way the brain wants it…like if i need to calm down during a panic attack, it will help me to relax without feeling drowsy. it is a quick fix…but highly addictive. if i am desperately in need, i will take 1/4. as such, i bring the medication wherever i go.

your hubby will need to support you a lot more when your son is overseas. hope he can take some leave for a short break or work from home to see that you are fine. don’t pressure yourself to get well quickly because anti-depressants take time to kick in.

take care.