Me Time!
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Yngmng:
FF, unless your wife stop working, childcare can only help to a certain extent. Some kids do not sleep through the night and there is still the housework and taking care of the babies at night. Do consider getting a maid. If your wife does not get enough rest, her work may suffer. Your elder daughters' school work also need attention. I have never had helper when I was working. But that was because I was staying with my inlaws. Even then, I do feel tired from taking care of DD after work.
FF's expenses will shoot up when the twins are born. a maid may be very calculative when she knows she has to work for a big family. when his wife returns to work after her confinement, i don't think the maid can handle the twins herself. -
FishFingers:
as long as your #2 knows you mean business, she will wake up from her nonsense of pouting and sulking.
Eg,DD2 caught me going out yesterday after her shower as I was leaving the house to pump petrol at the gas station.She wanted to tag along but I said no.She pouted and sat down there with her face as black as Justice Bao.I told DD1 to stay at home to look after her sis.I totally bo-chap her.DD2 was chided by DD1 for being unsensible.
Found that DD1 has became more sensible and learnt how to chide DD2 when she pouts/sulks.She has became also more compliant to my instructions.More in the Big Zehzeh role.Even my MIL commented that DD1 became better well behaved after coming out to live in SG.As for DD2,maybe I can get my wife to talk to her about her pouting and self-centered behaviour.DD2 knows my limits so she will not dare to push too far.
MIL will make arrangements to come out again.She may not be going back to Malaysia after all until everything has stabilised at home.
my son is the one who tells his sister off when she behaves badly. since your older twin is sensible and mature, maybe you can get her to manage her meimei. with a new set of sisters arriving, your #2 has to wake up and start behaving like a jie jie. -
janet88:
Precisely that expenses will shoot up that it is important to have double income. Important for the wife to have sufficient support so as not to affect her work. The mil can help out with taking care of the kids while the maid do the housework. Speaking from my experience as a FTWM with very young kid, I will really salute his wife if she can cope with 4 children and without a helper. Maybe, other FTWM with very young children can share on how they cope.Yngmng:
FF, unless your wife stop working, childcare can only help to a certain extent. Some kids do not sleep through the night and there is still the housework and taking care of the babies at night. Do consider getting a maid. If your wife does not get enough rest, her work may suffer. Your elder daughters' school work also need attention. I have never had helper when I was working. But that was because I was staying with my inlaws. Even then, I do feel tired from taking care of DD after work.
FF's expenses will shoot up when the twins are born. a maid may be very calculative when she knows she has to work for a big family. when his wife returns to work after her confinement, i don't think the maid can handle the twins herself. -
Congrats FF,
Your wifey is 2months+ pregnant? Interesting that the gender of the baby twins is already known as usually gynae can’t confirm whether the fetus is boy or girl below 4months. -
FishFingers:
Found that DD1 has became more sensible and learnt how to chide DD2 when she pouts/sulks.She has became also more compliant to my instructions.More in the Big Zehzeh role.Even my MIL commented that DD1 became better well behaved after coming out to live in SG.As for DD2,maybe I can get my wife to talk to her about her pouting and self-centered behaviour.DD2 knows my limits so she will not dare to push too far.
It may seem a good thing for your older girl to act the \"big sister\", but also take note that if she chides her twin a lot, it may affect the relationship between them. You may want to remind her to be empathetic and to encourage rather than scold. For your 2nd daughter, try to find out why she feels bad about the situation - some people take longer to adjust to changes, and she's had a lot of changes in her life, with another big one coming up. Telling her that she's behaving badly may not be the best way to getting her to be more positive, and may make her feel more isolated and unhappy. Unless you are sure that she is just being disobedient and rebellious for no good reason, I think she needs some kind of therapy (maybe even professional counselling) rather than chastisement. -
Yngmng:
if FF's mil is in singapore, then the maid's responsibility is to do housework and help with the twins after she is done with the cooking. housework wise have to close 1 eye since the twins are more important at this stage. i remember my finance was so tight when #2 was born but part time maid doesn't solve the problem.
Precisely that expenses will shoot up that it is important to have double income. Important for the wife to have sufficient support so as not to affect her work. The mil can help out with taking care of the kids while the maid do the housework. Speaking from my experience as a FTWM with very young kid, I will really salute his wife if she can cope with 4 children and without a helper. Maybe, other FTWM with very young children can share on how they cope. -
slmkhoo:
FF's younger twin is very attached to him. sometimes siblings are able to reach out to one another in a way we adults don't understand. there was a period of time son was able to get his sister to cooperate in a sweet and patient way.
It may seem a good thing for your older girl to act the \"big sister\", but also take note that if she chides her twin a lot, it may affect the relationship between them. You may want to remind her to be empathetic and to encourage rather than scold. For your 2nd daughter, try to find out why she feels bad about the situation - some people take longer to adjust to changes, and she's had a lot of changes in her life, with another big one coming up. Telling her that she's behaving badly may not be the best way to getting her to be more positive, and may make her feel more isolated and unhappy. Unless you are sure that she is just being disobedient and rebellious for no good reason, I think she needs some kind of therapy (maybe even professional counselling) rather than chastisement.
with mummy's pregnancy, FF's younger twin is behaving like a middle child syndrome and agree with you if she is not rebellious but for some reason behaving badly, therapy would be needed. -
slmkhoo:
Agree. What she needs is assurance, not chiding. Her being more attached to you than your wife may also make her feel more displaced since you travel or have to stay in camp.FishFingers:
Found that DD1 has became more sensible and learnt how to chide DD2 when she pouts/sulks.She has became also more compliant to my instructions.More in the Big Zehzeh role.Even my MIL commented that DD1 became better well behaved after coming out to live in SG.As for DD2,maybe I can get my wife to talk to her about her pouting and self-centered behaviour.DD2 knows my limits so she will not dare to push too far.
It may seem a good thing for your older girl to act the \"big sister\", but also take note that if she chides her twin a lot, it may affect the relationship between them. You may want to remind her to be empathetic and to encourage rather than scold. For your 2nd daughter, try to find out why she feels bad about the situation - some people take longer to adjust to changes, and she's had a lot of changes in her life, with another big one coming up. Telling her that she's behaving badly may not be the best way to getting her to be more positive, and may make her feel more isolated and unhappy. Unless you are sure that she is just being disobedient and rebellious for no good reason, I think she needs some kind of therapy (maybe even professional counselling) rather than chastisement.
I do not see anything wrong for children to pout for a while when being rejected. They are disappointed. So if she simply pouts for that moment, let her be. Give her the space to process her emotions. Only when she continues being disagreeable over a prolong period over 1 small matter, then a talking to is needed to teach her how to manage her emotions.
Don't forget, it is an adjustment for her from being the baby of the family to being a big sister. She will also soon be considered a middle child. Expected to respect the elder sis yet have to give in to younger ones. -
janet88:
Yup, take care of twins more important. Housework have to close one eye. At least, a full time helper can better support the wife. Not easy being a FTWM with young kids.
if FF's mil is in singapore, then the maid's responsibility is to do housework and help with the twins after she is done with the cooking. housework wise have to close 1 eye since the twins are more important at this stage. i remember my finance was so tight when #2 was born but part time maid doesn't solve the problem.Yngmng:
Precisely that expenses will shoot up that it is important to have double income. Important for the wife to have sufficient support so as not to affect her work. The mil can help out with taking care of the kids while the maid do the housework. Speaking from my experience as a FTWM with very young kid, I will really salute his wife if she can cope with 4 children and without a helper. Maybe, other FTWM with very young children can share on how they cope.
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Booked a pod and have a family gathering …
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