Difficulties of having a intellectually gifted child
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ChiefKiasu:
:lol: Looks like Chief got the idea.
Sigh... EN, I think I'm the one that's driving my son nuts with MY incessant questions. Everytime he asks me a question, I would tell him the answer and then follow up with 10 other questions about what he could or should have asked as a consequence of that question. Can't help myself, it just eats me as to why people do not ask those questions by themselves. Eg. when he asked me if magnets can be cylindrical, I told him the answer, and then asked him if the poles would be at the edges or on the cylindrical surface, or if it is possible to have spherical magnets, and what would the metal filings show with the magnetic field of a spherical magnet. He would go like... oh... and then forget about researching my questions. That burns me up :x . Am I a bad father? -
buds:
This is also my number one rule when posting in forums. Except when I am provoked lah, then sometimes really cannot help it. My 忍功 (ability to tolerate) not deep enough, still must 练功.
Like they say, dun have anything good
to say... dun say anything. Hold thy tongueshylyn:
shylyn,I agree w u that 'gifted' is a 'dirty' word now..i guess we can only safety say that a child is intellectually/emotionally (or whatever aspect) advanced compared to his peers instead. I'm glad that we shared a common understanding that it is not a competition of whose kid is smarter/better than the other..forum is for sharing of ideas and experiences..at least in my context..not sure for others ^_^
If I say that my girl has a very beautiful face, or that my boy has a very lovely voice, I am sure that no one will criticize me. But if a mommy says that she thinks her child is intellectually gifted, then she is likely to be attacked.
Beauty, a lovely voice, and high intelligence are all gifts that a child is born with. Why is there a difference ? I don't understand those parents who make such a big deal about the word \"gifted\", which to me, simply means an exceptionally intelligent child.EN:
I agree. But with good memory, the child will help to haunt opppss ... remind that his question went unanswered. Not sure about others, but mine will steadily remind, once in every few days. It's like having a manager chasing me for a project that stretch beyond the dealine. He's not aggressive in reminding but the constant gentle reminder can drive me nuts.[/quote][quote]A gifted child also must know that mommy is very tired after a day's work and cannot do much to help
I call it nagging. My girl loves to nag. She can nag and nag non-stop for a very long time. Like your boy, she is also not aggressive. She knows how to use a cool, calm tone with just a little bit of sadness so that I feel sorry for her ! And she calls me at work to remind me ! Does your boy call you at work ?EN:
EN,Hello again Tamarind. How's life? I'm extremely busy with less than 5 hours of sleep daily. I'm hesitating to apply for HIL post. Is yours a good move?
Please take care. I know how tough it is to work and take care of family at the same time.
I definitely made a good move from my previous job to my current job. Teaching is the easy part, the syllabus is not difficult. The more difficult part is motivating students to study. There are lots of admin work, it is tedious, but not stressful. I would stay that I am much more relaxed mentally compared to my previous job, but physcially it is much more tiring because I need to stand and talk(very loudly) for many hours a day.
I think that my current job is very suitable for mommies who have children, I had a 15% pay cut, but I am already very thankful that I have this job. -
homeschooling mum:
haha, my son was also asking me about genes. All we did was go to the internet and show him a diagram of a gene with labelled parts. Generally I don't \"volunteer\" too much information. I give \"just enough\" and if he asks further, then I will provide a little bit more. Let him tease the issue out at his own pace and according to his understanding. I will only get books/special resorces only if a topic keeps recurring. There will usually be a few concurrent topics. Then I will make time to go through them with him. He will generally stop asking me for a few days afterwards while he chews over the information.Because the info and details he requires are very extensive. The books for kids are out. ....
Right or not??? Anyone share the same experience as me???
Regarding books, in all fairness, I must say that our national libraries have some really good non-fiction children's books. They may be simplified but never patronizing. There will also be a list of resources at the back of the books for children who wants to probe deeper into a topic. No need to spend so much time searching. Other than that, for scientific topics, some museums and research organisations run very good websites. If you use the internet often and categorize your bookmarks, over time you should be able to build up your own internet directory and save a lot of time. Your son can also be directed to use those bookmarks as a starting point.
I recall he is already reading and writing extensively right? If so typing should not be a problem. If spelling is a problem, you can write down a list of key words for his reference and put it next to him. My son is not yet reading and he navigates via images, and the function keys. What I do is switch on two laptops, I try to get some work done while he is on the internet next to me. This is mostly for educational videos and there are some amazing stuff on youtube. For stuff that needs more explanation, I usually downlad and print out while he is sleeping or playing at neighbour's house so that he does not spend so much time on the internet - worrying about his eyesight
- and I will whip it out at opportune times when someone else is available to look after my toddler.
Like other mums, I must say that I don't spend a lot of time indulging in all his questions. I still have a very active toddler, housework and my own home-based work.
Besides, many times, his questions have no answers! E.g. what is beyond the universe? re evolution, what will come after humans? In fact, part of my parenting challenge is helping my son to understand and accept that life and the world is still an unfolding mystery.
Keeping in mind that he's not yet five, I consciously try to get him to balance his being with more physical and creative stuff. I hold him back in some areas - questions on religions, migrant workers, WW1 and 2. He is able to understand news on television and radio, and he understands well enough to ask good questions, but to me, he's too young - and sensitive - to deal with the harsh realities that comes with the territories. In our household, censorship is as necessary as providing information and often a trickier ballgame.
At the same time, we try to channel his energies and need for mental challenge into other avenues - chess, card games, building his own vehicles, crafts etc. -
shylyn ask [quote]why the initial pain when u realised ur boy was different?[/quote]
When I realize it, he is already in K2. So the memories just start pouring in from when he was a baby to date. A bit guilty for not being a hands on mummy. Since he knows, good, no need to spend so much time with him. I have that attitude before.
Hello CKS
In our earnest to help our kids, we can be over zealous in our action unintentionally. Some parents want their kids to be independent (I'm guilty of that), some parents over scheduled their kids (my nephew wrote sob story in his school journal, parents were notified), some sacrifice to be a sahm, some nags and some helps whenever they can. There's always two sides of a coin. There's always the pros and cons. My 2 cents worth of thought is, try to observe your son's reaction to your endless questions. Do the questions create pressure, are they motivating him to think further, does he cringe everytime the questions get thrown or does it makes him interested & engaged in a discussion with you? By the way, I bought \"Smarter Science for P3 & P4 Success Publication\" for dd. The content is easy to read and understand, it's interesting and it comes with cartoons & pictures. My dd who is not hot in science finds it a pleasure to read.
Hi Tamarind. Thanks for replying. Nice to hear from you again. I'm snowed under by work. Pity my kids & dh but they are ever so understanding. Yes, my son does call me at work when he has questions.
Hi Homeschooling mum. Create a schedule with your son. He must participate in creating the schedule so that he understand & stick to it. Specify a specific time and day when research work can be done. Do it together. Library is the best source. Science Centre does have DNA exhibits. I don't quite like internet either. Too much facts & need to filter. If I do, I do it alone. I read with my son daily on non-fiction books. I give plenty of free play cause that is my breathing, stress reliefing period. Sometimes I took a month long to answer his question. -
tamarind:
Hi Taramind
If I say that my girl has a very beautiful face, or that my boy has a very lovely voice, I am sure that no one will criticize me. But if a mommy says that she thinks her child is intellectually gifted, then she is likely to be attacked.
Beauty, a lovely voice, and high intelligence are all gifts that a child is born with. Why is there a difference ? I don't understand those parents who make such a big deal about the word \"gifted\", which to me, simply means an exceptionally intelligent child. .
Actually, in our Asian context..to boost of oneself is already being disapproved..u can compliment others but not yourself or your own people..else it is like bragging and blowing your own trumpet. That's how we are being brought up..guess no diff in forum context..anyway, being human is norm..there will sure be jealously and unhappiness if u kept reading that someone's kid is brighter/developmentally more advanced than yours. Oh well..shan't say further..I dont want to reignite the fire..hee.. :lol:tamarind:
Heheh...i think our kids share something common here..my boy, though dunno how to nag (as yet!) will remember something I promised him after a while. Cos usually, I'll use a bribe (something he likes to eat/do) to divert his attention or get him to do something else..after managing to do so successfully, he will remind me of the bribe he is suppose to get..I call it nagging. My girl loves to nag. She can nag and nag non-stop for a very long time. Like your boy, she is also not aggressive. She knows how to use a cool, calm tone with just a little bit of sadness so that I feel sorry for her ! And she calls me at work to remind me ! Does your boy call you at work ?.
tamarind:
Pei Fu! Wow..faced with youngsters these days is not an easy job..kids these days (machiam I very old) are more likely to question you rather than accept blindly..but its good to know that u r making a difference to these future generation!I definitely made a good move from my previous job to my current job. Teaching is the easy part, the syllabus is not difficult. The more difficult part is motivating students to study. There are lots of admin work, it is tedious, but not stressful. I would stay that I am much more relaxed mentally compared to my previous job, but physcially it is much more tiring because I need to stand and talk(very loudly) for many hours a day.
I think that my current job is very suitable for mommies who have children, I had a 15% pay cut, but I am already very thankful that I have this job. -
Hi EN
I see..but glad it's just an initial pain..cherish the time spent frm then on.. -
Hi homeschooling mum,
I have left you a private message. If you are still feeling helpless after some of the forumers’ sharing, try the website. Hopefully you will get some peace and sanity soon. -
shylyn:
I have many students who do not study at all, except for the 2 hours in class. Then when they are in class, they are busy chatting with other friends, nothing goes into their heads. Looking at these young Singaporeans, I am actually very worried about the future of Singapore
Pei Fu! Wow..faced with youngsters these days is not an easy job..kids these days (machiam I very old) are more likely to question you rather than accept blindly..but its good to know that u r making a difference to these future generation!
The best students are from Vietnam and China ! They are not only very bright, but extremely hardworking. Our kids are going to face a lot of competition from them in the future, whether in school or at work.shylyn:
Yes you are absolutely correct. I try not to say anything good about my kids in front of friends and relativesActually, in our Asian context..to boost of oneself is already being disapproved..u can compliment others but not yourself or your own people..else it is like bragging and blowing your own trumpet. That's how we are being brought up..guess no diff in forum context..
In the forum, we are all strangers, as in we have never met each other before, so we should be free to speak our minds.
There are so many threads in this forum. We can always choose to join any thread we like, or simply stop reading any thread we don't like. It is like if I am a supporter of PAP, I die die also will not attend a party full of SDP supporters ! I am not going to be happy there, and other people are not going to like me. -
Hi all,
I remember some people commented that \"gifted\" children are usually those who get away with bad behaviour.
Let's be honest OK ? How many of us allow our kids to behave badly, just because we think that they are exceptionally bright, or gifted ?
My girl used to throw very bad tantrums around 1 to 2 years old. I do not believe in caning a child, but I believe that the child must be properly disciplined using other methods like timed out, removal of privileges, reasoning, setting the boundaries, etc. She also got very very severe scoldings from me, then she would cry for a long time and I would ignore her. After she was more than 2 years old, she understands all the limits and she knows what is the correct behaviour. Recently she told me that her teacher said that very few children know when teacher is angry, and she is one of them
However, she has very strong opinions of her own, and it is very difficult to make her do things that she does not like. For example, I wanted her to learn ballet, but she strongly objected, and there is no way I can get her to go. -
tamarind:
Hi Again
I have many students who do not study at all, except for the 2 hours in class. Then when they are in class, they are busy chatting with other friends, nothing goes into their heads. Looking at these young Singaporeans, I am actually very worried about the future of Singapore .
I can understand ur concern..heheh..cos during my uni days, many of my sch mates either skipped lectures or chatting amg their peers..erhh..but not me hor..cos I'm not smart so hv to listen carefully in order to understand.. tamarind:
Yaloh..esp China! I guess its their culture and way of life...their population is huge..thus in order to excel, they must work really hard..during my JC days, we also hv a few overseas students & all of them did well in their studies..The best students are from Vietnam and China ! They are not only very bright, but extremely hardworking. Our kids are going to face a lot of competition from them in the future, whether in school or at work..
tamarind:
Ur point is correct. I guess we should be given more freedom of speech..of cos within limits lah..Yes you are absolutely correct. I try not to say anything good about my kids in front of friends and relatives
In the forum, we are all strangers, as in we have never met each other before, so we should be free to speak our minds.
There are so many threads in this forum. We can always choose to join any thread we like, or simply stop reading any thread we don't like. It is like if I am a supporter of PAP, I die die also will not attend a party full of SDP supporters ! I am not going to be happy there, and other people are not going to like me.
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