2018 PSLE Discussions & Strategies (Born in 2006)

[janet88]

yl,

looks like you have to wait till orientation day to get books.
in the meantime, your #2 is going to be sitting for psle next year…switch the focus to her.
let #1 enjoy herself, she truly deserves a good holiday.

[lee_yl]

janet88:

yl,

looks like you have to wait till orientation day to get books.
in the meantime, your #2 is going to be sitting for psle next year...switch the focus to her.
let #1 enjoy herself, she truly deserves a good holiday.

Trying... But... Ok, ok, noted.

[Estéema]

lee_yl:

janet88:

yl,

looks like you have to wait till orientation day to get books.
in the meantime, your #2 is going to be sitting for psle next year...switch the focus to her.
let #1 enjoy herself, she truly deserves a good holiday.

Trying... But... Ok, ok, noted.

Janet,

Think lee_yl is trying to xiam as long as possible. :evil:

[Imp75]

Esteema


You are so disciplined with your DS no wonder he’s got such good results…
Your revision schedule is awesome!

[janet88]

Estéema:

Janet,
Think lee_yl is trying to xiam as long as possible. :evil:

yl is stressing herself.

[Estéema]

imp75, 谢谢!


A lot depends on how cooperative our child is and that's where I believe is not easy for most parents. DS is a creative spirit and tough to get him to do stuff that are \"boring\" to him. Thankfully, he's got a competitive spirit and that helps coz I used that occasionally to spur him on.

Was just chatting with a KSP mum yday on her struggles and how to handle her child and realised it's not easy to advised. Getting that good results require so much more than hitting the books, following schedule, having best books, etc. It takes relationship building over the years and for the child to learn year by year the need to balance their time with work, play and rests.

I often find the greatest challenge for parents of today is the gadgets & screen contact time. How to manage that desire w/o pushing the child away fr you.

When our kids are very young, they're learning & absorbing everything ard them. When they start walking and made achievements, they'll want to try what the other kid was doing climbing up and hanging on the monkey bar. Most parents do watch closely but some might hv missed that moment when child wants to try jump off like the other child, coz we were chatting with other parents. I guess I'm the sort that watches so ever closely, evaluating every step of the way if it's time for me to intervene & why I shld or not. So, shld I let DC play screen games? I chose not to, but only 15 min on weekends. Confiscate when hmwk not done, or disobedience. They learn quickly to obey authorities. I gave in (only a little) not coz I wanna pamper but I know many kids ard him and it's hard to fend off these temptations. Also, he don't feel deprived. I succeeded not bcoz I'm skillful but coz I started when he was very young and easier to persuade.

Ano struggle parents hv today is with providing the child. As a society, we've become so much more affluent and parents desire the best for our kids. Problem is what to give and how to help our kids manage that plentiful of gifts and resources! Some parents give w/o rules or boundaries and I was faced with a parent who gave everything without holding back, and now have child who indulged in games and refuse to study or do any work. In fact, this parent admitted the child climbed over her.

I shared with her how I delayed giving him too much screen time & negotiate terms of use. Learnt this thing called \"Delayed Gratification\" during my training days fr a Guru in late 80s!

My personal take is, it's not the ends that matters (of course as parents we celebrate with our child for his achievements), but it's the process of learning self-discipline, self-management, managing desires, managing time, etc.

I often imagine if my child behave in a certain manner today, what wld it translate to when he become an adult. Do I want a bossy fella? No, I don't like that kinda colleagues or superior - I'll quit! Do I want my staff or colleagues to procrastinate and not deliver? No, we'll feel frustrated not having a team member doing their part.

To hv a child with good discipline don't happen overnite. We need to nurture but nurturing is not giving indiscriminately. As parents, we need to maintain that authority figure. That's tricky too. DH and I learnt over the years too as a parent. DH used to just give when kids asks. I had to hv nite chats that DH shld asks more qns why kids need this/that and how they're going use it, etc. Take a recent example : DC wants a movie. DH gave :moneyflies: w/o thot. I then asks if DC wld like to invite his frds along and bingo. We had 3 kids enjoying an afternn out. I explain it's always good to take the chance to build relationships and moments shared will multiply enjoyment.

Every year, I target one trip out as a family to 1st world country and one trip to a 3rd world country. Our kids had been on mission trips with us since age 4. They learn to share. Our 1st we hit the supermkt to get tins of milk-powder, rice, oil, etc. DC pulled me out & push the trolley away, saying \"mummy, don't go crazy shopping\"! I had to hold that little hand and instruct him to help, bcoz many kids w/o daddy/mummy waiting for these. On one trip, midst of doing craft with the orphans, DC needed the toilet. We passed thro the orphans room, he asks \"what place is this?\". I told him it's their dorm where they sleep. Innocent kids said \"no, it doesn't hv any bolster or pillow\". I said bcoz they don't hv parents to buy them, so they sleep on empty beds and mats, whilst my dear child always asking for this/that soft-toys filling up 60% of bed. It's exposure and lesson that impacts them the diff of haves and have nots. Immediately thereafter, DC chose only 2 plushies and never asked for new ones since.

So, it's really a learning journey. Help our child to manage themselves well vis-a-vis ppl around and the wider world. They don't live alone, much less live alone with their favourite gadgets. It's so lonely right?

Don't mind my long sharing. Just jotting down abit of memoir before dementia.

[Qing8huat]

Loved your sharing Esteema. It is so true. We have so much to learn from you. My ds has no hp, told him will only get one after psle next year, delayed gratification is such a wonder, the child learns and will appreciate the thing more when they finally get it. Recently he has been asking for Ps/Xbox and told us that he will have discipline. I am in a dilemma as I know that he has the discipline and being a sahm I can always control but very worried about the distraction. . ANY advices?

[MrsKiasu]

Esteema, thank you for sharing :thankyou:

[janet88]

Estéema:

Don't mind my long sharing. Just jotting down abit of memoir before dementia.

sweetie, it will not be possible for you to have dementia with such an active lifestyle.

[Estéema]

Qing8huat:

Loved your sharing Esteema. It is so true. We have so much to learn from you. My ds has no hp, told him will only get one after psle next year, delayed gratification is such a wonder, the child learns and will appreciate the thing more when they finally get it. Recently he has been asking for Ps/Xbox and told us that he will have discipline. I am in a dilemma as I know that he has the discipline and being a sahm I can always control but very worried about the distraction. . ANY advices?

Ha, ha... the Xbox! His uncle hv all the Xboxes, wii, etc. When he asks to visit uncle, we know what he was after. I worked very hard to distract him fr these gadgets. I organized (cartoon/caricature drawings, laser tags, English essay, riddles & poetry writing, etc, June holiday programmes since P2 and engage the kids in doing constructive things. One mum told me it's impossible for her to even suggest holiday workshops for her kids but they'll come for my programmes. I identified the drawing point was they can hv fun with their peers. Do we call this fun learning? I do novelty cakes to celebrate with the kids too.

Qing8huat,

You can control, but don't let yr child feel that u're controlling. Let him feel that you're helping him gain friends and give him great time!

Delayed gratification sharing :-

Try delay giving him with valid reasons.

One Christmas was shopping for grandpa's shirt. Put kids at toys section. When paying up, told kids to go. DS then age 3, pointed to a car, a London bus & a plane & asks for it. I told DS I do t hv all the money now. Requests for him to give me 2 weeks to work for it. Thot I succeeded till DS said I've a card.

Ano learning point - Explain to him I've gotta work then boss pay me & input in bank & then can use card. :rotflmao: Kids these days will stump you, but be a wise mum to keep drawing your kids attention away fr temptations & towards things that are constructive. They'll challenge authority & asks a lot of qns. It's OK to engage & explain but watch delay tactics they pick up fr you. So, don't be too obvious. S'times silence & non-response to A requests u've alr given your answer to child is OK. Silence is also proving your parental authority.

All the best in managing the xBox request!