How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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Nebbermind:
A friend also wanna to live with her parents....so she can rent out her flat n become a triple income familypirate:
[quote=\"hercules\"]Now my two kids are 'fighting' to stay with me after they marry.
Then their in-laws how? :scratchhead:
Maybe their spouses can also 'fight' to stay with their parents. :siam:[/quote] 
Well thought child !
My parents (more mum idea) wanted to stay in my flat , so they could rent out their flat, and it was 7 yrs . They collect rental income but I dun :rotflmao: .who win?
Well , I agree, when we are old we better be financial independent, this is also a blessing to the kids when the old can handle own financial health .
如果钱能解决的问题，那就不成问题了，correct or not ?,! :scratchhead: -
MyPillow:
So your parents outsmarted you!
Well thought child !
My parents (more mum idea) wanted to stay in my flat , so they could rent out their flat, and it was 7 yrs . They collect rental income but I dun :rotflmao: .who win?
Well , I agree, when we are old we better be financial independent, this is also a blessing to the kids when the old can handle own financial health .
如果钱能解决的问题，那就不成问题了，correct or not ?,! :scratchhead:
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All are not wrong I guess…
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MP,
You are very nice.
My mum did the same but my bro took a portion of the rent to cover his own utilities expenses. My mum is ok with it so we have no say. I am already happy that his wife is ok staying with my mum and hope that even when the younger kids grow up, they continue to stay with her. And this bro is pretty nice to mum though he has bad temper.
Sibling favouritism… Only if one is really in such situation, will rant and ‘blame’. It is human nature - we are not saints. I was scolded by my late dad for refusing his attempts to repay my brother’s debt (loan from me for his flat renovation). Despite the nasty words, I stood my ground. It breaks my heart and infuriates me that despite knowing, the bro did not step up to reassure dad that he could handle his own debts. Many years later, time and again I search my heart to respect him but he disappoints me with acts of selfishness time and again. And yet our mum still favours him and no one else (except me) dare to reprimand him for his thoughtlessness because we get mum’s wrath for doing so. -
I agree with Jedamum that it is human nature to rant because and we not saints. I suppose daughters will also yearn for the love, care and extra attention mothers shower on other siblings. :sad:
I can understabd cool_hi’s pent-up frustration because MIL, my mum and my grandma all practice favoritism. I once told my mum straight in her face that she loved my bro more but she responded that I was uttering rubbish and that she loved all of us equally. :skeptical: -
Just to add some perspectives without detracting from above experiences
... both my grandmothers were seen as favouring their eldest sons. But in conversations with my parents and from my memories of grandma, I felt it was a soft spot rather than unreasonable favouritism. And I felt I could detect the reason for this soft spot (as opposed to favouritism) for these uncles. One uncle being the oldest, had to start doing hard manual labour at a very young age to contribute to household income. Even my mum acknowledged that it was “很可怜”, and that registered even as a child。 I believe the other grandma had a soft spot for her eldest son because they had 2 years of 相依为命 when he was a toddler and it was the lowest point of her life and he was really the reason for her courage to live on and take a huge life-or-death gamble.
From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
It need not be monetary. Sometimes one child needs more forgiving so that he can start a new day with a clean slate, and who else but a parent can extend that forgiveness? We forgive and tolerate and hold the light out again and again so that the child can stay to the path. -
MyPillow:
Agreed with both statements.[when we are old we better be financial independent, this is also a blessing to the kids when the old can handle own financial health .
如果钱能解决的问题，那就不成问题了，correct or not ?,! :scratchhead:
If an issue can be solved by money, then it isn't an issue at all.
This highlights the importance of money and financial independence. -
ammonite:
When I was 10yo, my mum gave birth to my little brother. My mum & my dad were elated.
From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
The favoritism was blatant. Since young, whenever my mum cooked chicken, it’s 1 drumstick for my bro and 1 for Mum herself.
I was required to wash my school shoes and iron own uniform since primary school but my mum would do all these chores for my bro until he started working.
I don’t know whether Mum truly believes she treats all her children equally or she is simply in denial mode.
Although I agree with the above quote, sometimes I wonder could it be 长年累月地溺爱，that resulted in the more favored siblings to be less capable. That is how I console myself, “it’s ok, I have been trained since young, to handle most things myself.
Parents tend to favour 长子/幼子. For my MIL’s case, DH told me MIL cried because my SIL (MIL’s firstborn) was born a female. Simple as that, no need for other excuses. -
If a parent say he or she does not favour a particular child, that is probably not true. My dad favours my younger sis while my mum favours me. So long the favourtism is not too extreme, it is probably fine. I think I cut my younger child more slack, maybe because she is much younger.
My younger sis and I give more allowance to our parents because we used to earn more. My elder sis contributes in non monetary ways. -
ammonite:
I agree with this. As a parent with 2 very differently-abled children, the first paragraph above describes what my husband and I do, though not in financial terms (as yet). Thankfully, my younger girl understands. Although we have not said so in so many words so far, I know that she will understand if in future we help her sister more in financial and other ways, because we are sure she can make her way for herself without our help, or with less help than her sister needs.From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
It need not be monetary. Sometimes one child needs more forgiving so that he can start a new day with a clean slate, and who else but a parent can extend that forgiveness? We forgive and tolerate and hold the light out again and again so that the child can stay to the path.
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