How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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MyPillow:
Agreed with both statements.[when we are old we better be financial independent, this is also a blessing to the kids when the old can handle own financial health .
如果钱能解决的问题，那就不成问题了，correct or not ?,! :scratchhead:
If an issue can be solved by money, then it isn't an issue at all.
This highlights the importance of money and financial independence. -
ammonite:
When I was 10yo, my mum gave birth to my little brother. My mum & my dad were elated.
From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
The favoritism was blatant. Since young, whenever my mum cooked chicken, it’s 1 drumstick for my bro and 1 for Mum herself.
I was required to wash my school shoes and iron own uniform since primary school but my mum would do all these chores for my bro until he started working.
I don’t know whether Mum truly believes she treats all her children equally or she is simply in denial mode.
Although I agree with the above quote, sometimes I wonder could it be 长年累月地溺爱，that resulted in the more favored siblings to be less capable. That is how I console myself, “it’s ok, I have been trained since young, to handle most things myself.
Parents tend to favour 长子/幼子. For my MIL’s case, DH told me MIL cried because my SIL (MIL’s firstborn) was born a female. Simple as that, no need for other excuses. -
If a parent say he or she does not favour a particular child, that is probably not true. My dad favours my younger sis while my mum favours me. So long the favourtism is not too extreme, it is probably fine. I think I cut my younger child more slack, maybe because she is much younger.
My younger sis and I give more allowance to our parents because we used to earn more. My elder sis contributes in non monetary ways. -
ammonite:
I agree with this. As a parent with 2 very differently-abled children, the first paragraph above describes what my husband and I do, though not in financial terms (as yet). Thankfully, my younger girl understands. Although we have not said so in so many words so far, I know that she will understand if in future we help her sister more in financial and other ways, because we are sure she can make her way for herself without our help, or with less help than her sister needs.From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
It need not be monetary. Sometimes one child needs more forgiving so that he can start a new day with a clean slate, and who else but a parent can extend that forgiveness? We forgive and tolerate and hold the light out again and again so that the child can stay to the path. -
When we were younger, our mum told us that she loves us equally. In the last few years, she admitted who she loves most.
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slmkhoo:
Not in my family. My brother received most inheritance. Like 95%. Just because he is a male. Not because he is the least abled/weakest. While we daughters have to split the remaining 5%.
I agree with this. As a parent with 2 very differently-abled children, the first paragraph above describes what my husband and I do, though not in financial terms (as yet). Thankfully, my younger girl understands. Although we have not said so in so many words so far, I know that she will understand if in future we help her sister more in financial and other ways, because we are sure she can make her way for herself without our help, or with less help than her sister needs.ammonite:
From another angle, sometimes parents help the child who needs it most. The weakest and least able child ends up with the most provision, because parents know the others can make it on their own. So no extra help is parental vote of confidence in your ability.
It need not be monetary. Sometimes one child needs more forgiving so that he can start a new day with a clean slate, and who else but a parent can extend that forgiveness? We forgive and tolerate and hold the light out again and again so that the child can stay to the path. -
ngl2010:
Not in my family. My brother received most inheritance. Like 95%. Just because he is a male. Not because he is the least abled/weakest. While we daughters have to split the remaining 5%.
I guess that really rankles. Unfortunately that kind of thinking in some of the older generation is deeply ingrained. We can only try not to be that way ourselves. -
ngl2010:
When we were younger, our mum told us that she loves us equally. In the last few years, she admitted who she loves most.
Is it normal to ask parents who they love more? -
From the older perspective, girls have husbands to take care of them, while boys are on their own and have to feed a family plus carry on family name.
Frankly that thinking still persist. A family has only enough resource to send one child to an international school, they sent their older child a boy, knowing that this means the younger child (a girl) will have limited choices. However in our society, there is a much greater chance that she will still have a good life with a good marriage, while they have to consider if their son will be able to support a family. -
Nebbermind:
ngl2010:
When we were younger, our mum told us that she loves us equally. In the last few years, she admitted who she loves most.
Is it normal to ask parents who they love more?
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