Me Time!

[Cloud Cloud]

I think that when we have our kids young, our energy level is higher. I had my elder one in late twenties and younger one in mid thirties. I can feel the difference.

[janet88]

ammonite:

my kids will no longer be teens when I reach 50.

lucky you.
my younger one will be 18...probably facing an empty nest. but the good thing is truly ME TIME.

[janet88]

Cloud Cloud:

I think that when we have our kids young, our energy level is higher. I had my elder one in late twenties and younger one in mid thirties. I can feel the difference.

same here. :hi5:
had my son at 28...daughter at 32. it's mentally exhausting to handle younger one because she has a learning disability.

[jedamum]

I have my kids early and late 20s.

Late 20s and possibly early 30s is a good time. Older parents have more say (than grandparents) over their kids upbringing than younger parents as their own parents may think they too young to be effective parents. Also perhaps most older parents are less reliant on grandparents (grandparents too old, older parents more financially able to go single income etc) help than younger parents, so lesser conflict in kids upbringing. But con is, older parents need to care for young kids and possibly their aging parents - sandwiched.

[MrsKiasu]

One good thing about having kids at youger age..we can have more to talk about..like these few years, me and mom talked about her 'chasers'

[janet88]

MrsKiasu:

One good thing about having kids at youger age..we can have more to talk about..like these few years, me and mom talked about her 'chasers'

generation gap is narrower when you have kids at younger age.
hubby had son at 33...not that old now but strangely don't seem to be able to communicate very well with the kids.
I am a SAHM...so I 'grew up' with the kids. it's a new learning experience for me at every stage.

[Funz]

I don’t think there is a single ‘best period’ for marriage or having kids. It all depends on individuals.


There are those who married and had kids young and things worked out very well for them but there are those who split likewise for those who marry and had kids later in life.

Contrary to what some of you are encountering. I seem to be meeting more people who are getting married and having kids younger. Not shotgun kind but planned. Know of a few who got married fresh out of uni. Guy proposed upon graduating and within a year, they are married. Few months after marriage, preggy oredi. I see many young couples these days too. Parents of 2 by mid 20s.

[sharonkhoo]

janet88:

MrsKiasu:

One good thing about having kids at youger age..we can have more to talk about..like these few years, me and mom talked about her 'chasers'

generation gap is narrower when you have kids at younger age.
hubby had son at 33...not that old now but strangely don't seem to be able to communicate very well with the kids.
I am a SAHM...so I 'grew up' with the kids. it's a new learning experience for me at every stage.

I had kids at 32 (just before my 33rd birthday) and 35. I actually wanted to start at 27, but it didn't happen. Each has its pros and cons. So when I turned 50, my kids were 17 and 15. We've had a good relationship, and we talk to our girls about just about anything and everything (depending on age and appropriateness). They tell us about their friends, boys (no \"boyfriends\" yet), fears, hopes, doubts, joys etc.

Aside from the physical, the \"generation gap\" is also partly a state of mind - if the older person is willing to listen and try to understand the environment and experiences of the younger one, the gap can be minimised (it won't be completely eliminated). And it's the adult who has the responsibility to bridge the gap with the child; you can't expect the child to do it when they are young. I think it's when the older person thinks that his experience can be applied directly and can't or won't bridge the gap, that it becomes an issue. My husband and I have been quite involved with young adults in our church since returning to Singapore and have been with one batch for the past 5 yrs from their mid-20s to around 30 - through university, first jobs, dating, flat-buying, weddings, now even a few pregnancies, and babies due soon. They were a bit doubtful at first, and of course the difference in age is always there, but we get along well with them and hope we've been helpful. Now this batch is \"graduating\", and we are wondering whether to follow them onto \"adulthood\" or join another batch of young people. The age gap will be even wider, and we risk bumping into our own kids who will be around that age, which we don't want to. Still thinking.

[sharonkhoo]

Funz:

Contrary to what some of you are encountering. I seem to be meeting more people who are getting married and having kids younger. Not shotgun kind but planned. Know of a few who got married fresh out of uni. Guy proposed upon graduating and within a year, they are married. Few months after marriage, preggy oredi. I see many young couples these days too. Parents of 2 by mid 20s.

I see 2 groups - the ones you describe, and the ones who marry and have kids late. I guess those who meet and pair up in university are likely to marry younger. Those who start work without a steady boy/girlfriend are likely to take longer to find one as the opportunities to meet people may be reduced depending on their workplace, and that pushes things back. I know a few highly eligible young people who don't seem to meet new potential partners because of where they work. And they don't usually pair up with the other young people in church if they grew up with them.

[janet88]

it’s good to share experience from an adult’s point of view to the child. academically, hubby is definitely able to coach kids well especially for math. however, seeing things from the same level as the kids is something he is not able to. so he ends up nagging and becomes boring to talk to. for eg renovation. I like something cosy with a little difference, like maybe a wall painted mint green and white for the rest of the hall…but he finds it strange. I won’t go for trends like a dark blue wall in the living room. that would be extreme. I guess ultimately I would have to go with my gut feel when planning for the renovation.