Q&A - PSLE Chinese
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My opinion only: I think it’s too poetic and rambling for an exam essay. More likely written by an adult? There’s reference to buying lottery tickets. Under 18 cannot buy, so inappropriate for kids to use that phrase.
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Zeit,
The link u posted does not lead to a valid site.
JMI - If a P6 can subtly express learning & maturing progress thro admiration in that essay, I think it's admirable in itself. It's a matter of interpretation & I do not nec interpret it in the form of BGR kinda love. I rmbr when in Sec 1, used to hv a class girl always parroting, following, copy-cat this other classmate, who in her view is perfect frd who'll do no wrong,etc, etc, etc. We initially thot both are like in an odd r'ship but they're purely young gff. I'm sure if one writes to express in terms of ano whom he/she admires as a good example to emulate & improve himself/herself is a good piece of literary work.
IMO, my only problem is writer is too subtle & writing skill smack of one of a copied portion of a Taiwanese writer's work to a typical local P6 student. JMO hor. :siam: -
I agree with zac’s mum. It is too emotive a piece.
Content-wise it does not answer the essay question. I don’t see any 奋进.
Style-wise it’s more reflective rather than narrative.
This essay will not get a pass from me. -
My apologies. You can read this instead
http://www.kuqin.com/article/1030.html
zac's mum:
Nope, it was by a P6 student from a Ningbo pri sch. His CL teacher loves to post students' compos on her Weibo blog. This one went viral recently and several Chinese netizens praised the kid for his flair. Some even said his style is rather '鲁迅'. But I think it's a borderline cross between 朱自清 (the colloquial portions) & 徐志摩 (the lyricism).
The boy's dad is a journalist, and boy reads 老子《道德经》, Sigmund Freud and Isaac Asimov, hence the 文笔 you see here. You can google his other 命题 essays like 《沙漏》&《用心听见时间》. $10 lottery win is just a 明喻 to express his insouciance towards the new neighbour.
Estéema:
I agree with your reading. It's an admirable piece of 散文 rather than 作文. I believe he was musing on 近朱者赤, i.e. how the exemplary female classmate becomes his beacon of light who motivates him to strive harder and improve himself holistically. However, most Chinese netizens interpreted it as secret admiration 暗恋 because of his recurrent allusions to darkness 暗 and light 光.
D3@n:
Yes, there's 奋进, albeit nuanced, expressed by the boy. The title given by teacher was 《第一次的 ______》
It's rather common for high ability Chinese students to employ 抒情式 for compo, as they are linguistically stronger in MT than our local P6ers. Most of our PSLE HCL students only use the same boring 3-4 开头 for 命题 based on tuition centre's drilling. They seldom stray to other types of 开头、结尾 (about 8-10 broad types in China), unlike our time when there was no standard compo rubric and CL teachers gave primary school pupils a free hand to compose anything we liked based on 命题 rather than 看图.
I was told it's risky or even suicidal to write in such reflective manner for PSLE HCL compo cos student could 跑题. Even 倒叙 is not recommended by our teachers and tutors here. -
Zeit:
Not wise to be nuanced when it comes to answering exam questions. A stronger linguistic foundation does not necessarily mean better composing ability. One has to attack the essay question directly, clearly and appropriately. This piece in my opinion missed all three.
D3@n:
Yes, there's 奋进, albeit nuanced, expressed by the boy. The title given by teacher was 《第一次的 ______》
It's rather common for high ability Chinese students to employ 抒情式 for compo, as they are linguistically stronger in MT than our local P6ers. Most of our PSLE HCL students only use the same boring 3-4 开头 for 命题 based on tuition centre's drilling. They seldom stray to other types of 开头、结尾 (about 8-10 broad types in China), unlike our time when there was no standard compo rubric and CL teachers gave primary school pupils a free hand to compose anything we liked based on 命题 rather than 看图.
I was told it's risky or even suicidal to write in such reflective manner for PSLE HCL compo cos student could 跑题. Even 倒叙 is not recommended by our teachers and tutors here.
Stylistically and Content-wise I do encourage my students to be more original. But this piece I feel is too self-indulgent and inappropriate, especially from a 12-year-old. Same cringeworthy feeling I get when I watch the Children's Singing Contest where those little heavily dolled-up kids are clad in skimpy outfits and singing sexy adult tunes. -
D3@n:
OK, noted with thanks. Wait a sec, aren't you an Eng Lit & Lang tutor? Saw you in the \"Secondary Eng Lit\" thread before.Not wise to be nuanced when it comes to answering exam questions. A stronger linguistic foundation does not necessarily mean better composing ability. One has to attack the essay question directly, clearly and appropriately. This piece in my opinion missed all three.
Stylistically and Content-wise I do encourage my students to be more original. But this piece I feel is too self-indulgent and inappropriate, especially from a 12-year-old. Same cringeworthy feeling I get when I watch the Children's Singing Contest where those little heavily dolled-up kids are clad in skimpy outfits and singing sexy adult tunes.
I *Roftl* at your description of those 乳臭未干 munchkins on ShengSiong shows!
Anyhow, Chinese pri-school pupils are taught more advanced writing techniques (parallelism, rhyming, antithesis, appositive, personification, subjectless sentences, etc.) for their own internal assessments. I've read my PRC friends' kids' compos. Indeed, they can be cringeworthy at times, but that is their real voice in real life. They're undoubtedly good in composing emotive and reflective essays, especially those who indulge in Tang poems and philosophical essays.
Another piece by P6 Chinese pupil on his 12th Birthday 《十二岁生日》. Very original, but his 开头 is unthinkable and unacceptable in PSLE methinks...![](\"https://s17.postimg.cc/t0nktqben/2018-04-17.png\")
Our kids are grilled to conform to SEAB's compo template/box; no one dares to compose out of the box. Most pp typically start their compo with weather and sounds “铃！铃！”, if not motherhood proverbs or cliched flashbacks: \"记忆就像...\" - at least from my browsing of selected essays at Popular. I suppose most locals don't speak MT at home and hence, cannot feel in Chinese...
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Zeit:
Actually this 开头 seemed ok to me....Another piece by P6 Chinese pupil on his 12th Birthday 《十二岁生日》. Very original, but his 开头 is unthinkable and unacceptable in PSLE methinks...
https://s17.postimg.cc/t0nktqben/2018-04-17.png\">
Our kids are grilled to conform to SEAB's compo template/box; no one dares to compose out of the box. Most pp typically start their compo with weather and sounds “铃！铃！”, if not motherhood proverbs or cliched flashbacks: \"记忆就像...\" - at least from my browsing of selected essays at Popular. I suppose most locals don't speak MT at home and hence, cannot feel in Chinese...
If it were written for an English essay, it would be fine for PSLE, no? So it should be fine for Psle Chinese too? -
Just as the name 小明 is excessively over used, the flashback beginning 记忆就像一张… has been abused. My elder DD has been cautioned by tutor NEVER to begin with this introduction.
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Zeit:
You have a good memory! LOL!
OK, noted with thanks. Wait a sec, aren't you an Eng Lit & Lang tutor? Saw you in the \"Secondary Eng Lit\" thread before.
I *Roftl* at your description of those 乳臭未干 munchkins on ShengSiong shows!
Anyhow, Chinese pri-school pupils are taught more advanced writing techniques (parallelism, rhyming, antithesis, appositive, personification, subjectless sentences, etc.) for their own internal assessments. I've read my PRC friends' kids' compos. Indeed, they can be cringeworthy at times, but that is their real voice in real life. They're undoubtedly good in composing emotive and reflective essays, especially those who indulge in Tang poems and philosophical essays.
Our kids are grilled to conform to SEAB's compo template/box; no one dares to compose out of the box. Most pp typically start their compo with weather and sounds “铃！铃！”, if not motherhood proverbs or cliched flashbacks: \"记忆就像...\" - at least from my browsing of selected essays at Popular. I suppose most locals don't speak MT at home and hence, cannot feel in Chinese...
I specialise in English Language & Literature, but I do teach Chinese and Economics as well.
Some parents prefer the fact that I am effectively bilingual when they engage me to teach their child Chinese.
I come from the SAP programme in the 80s, so I did both English and Chinese as first language. Even History was taught in Chinese during Secondary One. Can you imagine that?!? So I am very exposed to the very traditional Chinese language and culture in my Secondary and JC days.
My main gripe about the self-indulgent and effusive style is that it does not allow the reader to get connected with the writer. For effective writing, you have to consider who your target reader is. Again, it boils down to being appropriate writing. Are you familiar with the supposedly paid TV audience in those China singing competition programmes? Tears rolled beautifully down their cheeks. Their facial expressions can tell a millions stories. But I am hardly moved. Hahahaha... -
zac's mum:
I agree. This one is fine to me. It has more restraint and much less OTT than that 奋进 one.
Actually this 开头 seemed ok to me.Zeit:
...Another piece by P6 Chinese pupil on his 12th Birthday 《十二岁生日》. Very original, but his 开头 is unthinkable and unacceptable in PSLE methinks...
Our kids are grilled to conform to SEAB's compo template/box; no one dares to compose out of the box. Most pp typically start their compo with weather and sounds “铃！铃！”, if not motherhood proverbs or cliched flashbacks: \"记忆就像...\" - at least from my browsing of selected essays at Popular. I suppose most locals don't speak MT at home and hence, cannot feel in Chinese...
If it were written for an English essay, it would be fine for PSLE, no? So it should be fine for Psle Chinese too?
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