All About Parenting Teenagers

[sharonkhoo]

foosoomin:

slmkhoo:

Is it only now? I think there have always been children who are not interested in studying. It could be that some are more interested in different kinds of learning or different ways of learning, or that they find that what they are learning in school is not related to their interests. Or they can't see how school learning relates to a future that they are interested in (not all kids want to go to university and get a \"good\" job).

Perhaps it may be good for you to talk to your child about what he really wants in life, and then show him how studies will get him to that place. And if what he wants is not the usual track, try to help him find a way to achieve that.

I can sense he not interested in study, but he has no choice, he has to study.

He keep trying different ways of learning method/tactic, he interested in A maths.

Maybe he couldn't relates school learning will affect his future, but we have told him several times, his current position may determine his future. He seems don't understand.

One thing i noticed these teenages nowadays, they may be 15 years old, but their thinking could be 9 to 10 years old in our generation type.


Yeah, will talk to him tonight, slowly

If he tries different methods etc, isn't he studying? A boy who isn't interested in studying wouldn't even bother, I think? Maybe he just needs to swallow his pride and ask for advice more often.

It is true that some young people nowadays seem immature to us, but then, that has been the complaint of every generation towards the younger generation. I have a very slow-maturing child too, and I have to keep reminding her what sort of jobs are available to people with her current educational level. With that, as well as other means, I have managed to keep her going all these years.

[sharonkhoo]

Another thought, since you feel your child is too immature in studies, is he like that in other areas too? Does he plan his own schedule, pick up after himself, do some chores etc? Maybe getting him to do more in other areas, and having more autonomy in some decisions, may spill over into schoolwork?

[ammonite]

Am I the only one who thinks there is nothing wrong with going to the gym regularly? I may differ from most parents here but I think it is a healthy past time if not excessive. 2-3 hours 5 times a week is okay. Not everyone likes swimming or jogging or team sports. Gym is focused, solitary and if working with weights, it is classified under "heavy work", which is calming for some people’s sensory system. An hour workout cannot do much, especially if you also factor in warm-up, cool-down, resting between sets, and showering after.


Working with weights, swimming laps and wall climbing are all very calming repetitive activities and are especially suited to introverts who need heavy work to be calm and focused. If you take away his gym - and it is an integral part of his routine - you may get a teen who is more prone to mood swings. I much rather they sweat it out in the gym than be moody at home.

If I am the OP and I feel my child is not academically inclined, I will say casually that he may like the idea of being a personal fitness trainer or a gym manager or a physiotherapist (highly sought after!) in future. I will then show him the possible pathways (not so far away) in polys for that and see what subjects he need to focus on. He may catch on, or he may decide that it is a terrible idea (all that sweat and awful clients) and start considering other possibilities.

[floppy]

ammonite:

Am I the only one who thinks there is nothing wrong with going to the gym regularly?

...

Don’t worry. You ain’t the only one. There are many constants about being a teenager, regardless of the generation / year they were brought up in, and some constants are (1) the need to look good, (2) boundless energy and (3) the need to be ‘in’.

Going (or be seen going) to the gym is the Y2K equivalent of riding a BMX or able to do an ‘ollie’ on your Powell-Peralta in the 80s. Everyone is doing it, so must you.

Similarly, the ‘gym’ in Y2K+ is the physical equivalent of the 80s Centrepoint / Far East Plaza. Everyone is there, so must you.

[bboomer71]

Success begets success. The best motivation is doing well. How does one start if the child has yet to taste success? I believe every child wants to do well but they may not know how. Build the scaffolding. Help them tackle problems together until they can manage on their own. Nip problems in the bud.

[ammonite]

Gosh I have no idea that it is the "in" thing now. I did note the greater accessibility and affordability of gyms (gyms at CC, Safra, schools) and a real push towards healthy lifestyle. In some boys schools, the gyms are very well equipped and there are trainers there to coach the boys. I personally think it is a good healthy move and a wonderful way to channel male adolescent energy plus prepare them for NS. It didn’t cross my mind that it may be a "fashion" thing cos DH and I both started going to gyms once our schools had them.

[Funz]

ammonite:

Am I the only one who thinks there is nothing wrong with going to the gym regularly? I may differ from most parents here but I think it is a healthy past time if not excessive. 2-3 hours 5 times a week is okay. Not everyone likes swimming or jogging or team sports. Gym is focused, solitary and if working with weights, it is classified under \"heavy work\", which is calming for some people's sensory system. An hour workout cannot do much, especially if you also factor in warm-up, cool-down, resting between sets, and showering after.


Working with weights, swimming laps and wall climbing are all very calming repetitive activities and are especially suited to introverts who need heavy work to be calm and focused. If you take away his gym - and it is an integral part of his routine - you may get a teen who is more prone to mood swings. I much rather they sweat it out in the gym than be moody at home.

If I am the OP and I feel my child is not academically inclined, I will say casually that he may like the idea of being a personal fitness trainer or a gym manager or a physiotherapist (highly sought after!) in future. I will then show him the possible pathways (not so far away) in polys for that and see what subjects he need to focus on. He may catch on, or he may decide that it is a terrible idea (all that sweat and awful clients) and start considering other possibilities.

You are not the only one. Couple of hours is fine (that includes travelling and shower). The problem with a lot of people is a lot of time is wasted strutting around the gym and looking at other people. One can actually while away the entire afternoon doing that. Once in a while, waste time hanging out at the gym to unwind is fine but if is it an everyday affair then it will be an issue.

[ammonite]

Funz:

The problem with a lot of people is a lot of time is wasted strutting around the gym and looking at other people. One can actually while away the entire afternoon doing that. Once in a while, waste time hanging out at the gym to unwind is fine but if is it an everyday affair then it will be an issue.

:shock: To be honest, I think only the gays do that. They are checking out one another ya. :siam:
The average genuine gym users are not like that. How to work out if you are not looking at your own reflection?

[Funz]

ammonite:

Funz:

The problem with a lot of people is a lot of time is wasted strutting around the gym and looking at other people. One can actually while away the entire afternoon doing that. Once in a while, waste time hanging out at the gym to unwind is fine but if is it an everyday affair then it will be an issue.

:shock: To be honest, I think only the gays do that. They are checking out one another ya. :siam:
The average genuine gym users are not like that. How to work out if you are not looking at your own reflection?

Used to go to the gym with DH. I can finish my routine in an hour while he will still be in the middle of his after I have showered and change. That's cos he will be chatting with other gym buffs, talking about what supplements to eat, what exercises to do to 'cut' this or that muscle, etc. Then also about this or that accessory to support this or that part of the body so that they can do the weights, etc. And sometimes when I am in the middle of huffing and puffing through my reps he will come to me and say wah look at that fella, so not proportionate, buff on top but chicken legs. :roll:

To be fair, I did mainly circuits in the gym so it was short and intense.

I guess for a 15yr old, due to his still being financially dependant on this parents, the influence from some of these gym buffs to buy accessories and supplements may be limited but still at that age they are very impressionable. DH was in his 30s then and he was admiring those gym buffs tattoos and he bought all sorts of protein powder and goodness knows what supplements cos he wants to build those muscles.

[ammonite]

Funz:

ammonite:

:shock: To be honest, I think only the gays do that. They are checking out one another ya. :siam:
The average genuine gym users are not like that. How to work out if you are not looking at your own reflection?

Used to go to the gym with DH. I can finish my routine in an hour while he will still be in the middle of his after I have showered and change. That's cos he will be chatting with other gym buffs, talking about what supplements to eat, what exercises to do to 'cut' this or that muscle, etc. Then also about this or that accessory to support this or that part of the body so that they can do the weights, etc. And sometimes when I am in the middle of huffing and puffing through my reps he will come to me and say wah look at that fella, so not proportionate, buff on top but chicken legs. :roll:

To be fair, I did mainly circuits in the gym so it was short and intense.

I guess for a 15yr old, due to his still being financially dependant on this parents, the influence from some of these gym buffs to buy accessories and supplements may be limited but still at that age they are very impressionable. DH was in his 30s then and he was admiring those gym buffs tattoos and he bought all sorts of protein powder and goodness knows what supplements cos he wants to build those muscles.

...I tend to think that if you are talking, you are not actually working out, ykwim? The only sure way to build muscles is to lift those weights progressively and work in sets. (but you would know that) I guess we are not the chatty type and we keep to a schedule. But in all seriousness, a long drawn \"do a bit, talk a bit\" workout is akin to not working out at all since you are not keeping your heart-rate at the right range or focusing on your form while working out. Working out can be very cerebral if you are isolating muscles.

Sorry, I am digressing...