All About Parenting Teenagers

[ngl2010]

Thank you for all your sharing, Ladies. I will think how to handle this matter.

[zac's mum]

vinegar:

......He always says our money will be eventually his......

:yikes: My parents warned me outright that they will not be leaving any money to me or my brother. They have the right to donate all to charity if they so wish. So they trained me to be self-sufficient from the moment I got my first job. And they didn’t allow me to be picky about the job either.

[ammonite]

vinegar:

Girls, appreciate all your advice.


He always says our money will be eventually his. I hv explained to him many times that we hv to save money fr raining days. Really hard to get him to understand despite i constantly remind n teach him.

:scared: maybe you should start telling him that the money will not be his. At his age he probably does understand, but translating that to spending habits is another step.

[ngl2010]

vinegar:

Girls, appreciate all your advice.


He always says our money will be eventually his. I hv explained to him many times that we hv to save money fr raining days. Really hard to get him to understand despite i constantly remind n teach him.

I have ever told DS that our money will not automatically become his. We will give our money to charities under certain circumstances e.g. if he does not treat us well, etc. I didn’t tell him many times about this because I don’t want to be seen as threatening him but I made sure he understand that we can give away our money.

[ammonite]

Vinegar, have to prepare him mentally and psycholgically for NS. I suggest some camping trips and those back to basic no aircon no wifi holidays.

[MyPillow]

zac's mum:

vinegar:

......He always says our money will be eventually his......

:yikes: My parents warned me outright that they will not be leaving any money to me or my brother. They have the right to donate all to charity if they so wish. So they trained me to be self-sufficient from the moment I got my first job. And they didn’t allow me to be picky about the job either.

my mama also this style of parenting and she 说得出，做得到 too, till now ...!
Personally, I am thinking not to follow her style totally, as i feel that i may not want to be too tough to my kids if they are well behaved grown ups but may need parents' blessings to support their future life .
BUT first, we must set aside our sufficient retirement fund first before we can afford the generosity in whatever ways.

Vinegar, is it due to peer influence, i know of fren kids who are in rich man sch & the kids compare holiday & hotels etc
bcos of the humble background i grew up, i am the one who is looking forward to include nice star hotel stay for one or two nights ,spoilt brat myself 自己疼自己

[zac's mum]

MyPillow:

zac's mum:

[quote=\"vinegar\"]......He always says our money will be eventually his......

:yikes: My parents warned me outright that they will not be leaving any money to me or my brother. They have the right to donate all to charity if they so wish. So they trained me to be self-sufficient from the moment I got my first job. And they didn’t allow me to be picky about the job either.

my mama also this style of parenting and she 说得出，做得到 too, till now ...!
Personally, I am thinking not to follow her style totally, as i feel that i may not want to be too tough to my kids if they are well behaved grown ups but may need parents' blessings to support their future life .
BUT first, we must set aside our sufficient retirement fund first before we can afford the generosity in whatever ways.[/quote]I think the benefit of this method is that the fresh grad will realize that the fresh grad’s salary simply cannot sustain the frivolous lifestyle that they are used to, ie drink a Starbucks daily and go clothes shopping every weekend with friends. That’s when I learnt that a basic degree can only feed me simple food court meals and I have to save up the rest for any purchases in the longer term. Made some mistakes with credit cards overspending initially but yeah, the lesson was painful. My parents were like, we funded your uni degree good enough. Now go and grow up and face the real world lol.

[MrsKiasu]

vinegar, personally I feel that it is not alright for anyone, child or adult to think as such. but I know there are such people. I heard of such case before of one of elders. now your son is still young, so you (or get another person) have more time to ‘teach’ him…like me and sis, she will tell me her problem with her son when he undergoes difficult growing up phase…I will explain to him and he will say ok…but we dont know if all the words could get into him but we just hope some could. I will be heartbroken too if my kids were to say such thing. This, for sure my stripes will come out.

[Estéema]

Vinegar,


Not sure how old yr son is.

DH & I place importance in teaching values & want our kids to learn to think for others, empathize and give more than receiving. These training hv to start young.

When DC were young, I used to deliberately pass an individual (esp those handicap on wheelchairs, elderly…) & then I’ll turn back & open my wallet & give or hand to my kids to give. I always talk abt our elderly parents’ aging needs & imbue in them the sense of caring for our elderly as they’re old & don’t work anymore. It doesn’t matter if they’ve money in bank a/c. It’s impt they first think abt their needs (check if any of their home items need replacement & suggest they change for sake of efficient function, health or hygiene. Once the seams of their bathroom sink fell apart, and DH with BIL helped to secure back with proper screw support & new silicone were put in. Looks as good as new & safe for their use. All the kids were impressed to see the transparent silicone as oppose to the mouldy ones they used to see.

My older niece asked to help arrange grandma’s toiletries & cosmetics (lipsticks, comb & face powder compact).

Get the kids engaged with elderly at home & out. Once u see them develop empathy, half ur battle is done. It’s impt the young generation learn to care for others & not be self-absorbed or dependent esp when they grow into teen age. Tell them usually elderly feels insecure bcoz as they age, body don’t function well & they can’t work. Money don’t fall fr the sky. Our kids this generation hv too much of good life. Everything done for them. Maids help. They don’t hv sense of ableness & initiatives. Naturally, they’ll think like when my parents go, all their wealth ‘shld’ come to me to enable my future living?

Better start then young. Whatever their age, not too late. Best if we model good values of independence, self-enabling & initiatives (esp to do labour-type of work & dirty our hands).

[sharonkhoo]

vinegar:

Girls, appreciate all your advice.


He always says our money will be eventually his. I hv explained to him many times that we hv to save money fr raining days. Really hard to get him to understand despite i constantly remind n teach him.

You and your husband need to discuss what to tell him. Several of the others have said what they tell their kids, and you can decide what to say to your son. Make sure he believes you! Maybe you need to show him how much medical care etc can cost, and tell him that the reason you save is to avoid burdening him when he is an adult.

My husband and I have told our girls that our greatest gift to them will be a decent education and our own financial independence in old age (as far as we can manage). That way, they can focus on supporting their families. We don't promise that we will leave anything to them, and even if we do, it may not be much, and it will probably be many years later, given that life expectancy is now in the 80s. We also reserve the right to give what we have away for good causes. They also realise that young people generally don't earn much, and we intentionally live modestly also to teach them how to be content with less. By watching how we live and spend, they are learning how to do it for themselves.