Teaching DS (Lack Of Confidence and others)

[Tri-mum]

xian_kai:

DS1 (6yrs old) does not seem to work well under pressure. Will tend to lose concentration or mess up, espically after being scolded (sometimes lack of patience when we have to repeat and repeat :oops: )

Take it easy with him, he is only K2. I agree with Jesschan to set small goals and be generous with your praises to encourage him. When my gal did well on smthg, I will reward her with little cutie stuffs..a nice sticker or eraser will keep her happy for a long time :lol:

It's normal that kid tend to lose focus after a while. When he cannot concentrate maybe you can give him a 10min break, let him munch something and then continue later. You're not alone, my gal can even make careless mistake by looking at the picture and write the numbers wrongly :slapshead:

[tankee]

jesschan:

Set small goals and be generous with praise. I think sometimes kids are afraid to make mistakes for fear of getting scolding....

IMO, more a case of kids are afraid to even try for fear of giving wrong answers or make mistakes and end up getting more scoldings.

[Akin]

come on, take it easy. 6 years old kid only. think back, how well were we when we are6 years old??? should be worse compare to them now.

[xian_kai]

Thanks for the suggestions


Maybe I am too kah cheong spider :lol: Ironically, he concentrates really well when watching his favourite cartoons and playing his favourite V games :lol:

[Akin]

children are all the same that when comes to the favourite cartoons programs or games, they're 100% forcus :lol: Just continue to teach with patience and they will be where they suppose to be. :lol:

[mumma_bear]

I guess we, parents, share the same sentiments. It’s not easy to make our child concentrate on serious school stuff , it also takes a lot of encouragement and patience on our part. But for the confidence part, to develop a child’s self-esteem is to praise him/her on the little things they do because I’m sure they’re doing the best they could also. I agree, don’t set expectations that you’re child can’t accomplish yet. Give him/her time to adjust, they need love and encouragement in order to excel. Hope it helps!

[sleepy]

Find ‘excuses’ to praise him. That will help in his self esteem

[Breadandmuffins]

Hi everyone


Have been very troubled lately over DS’s learning attitude… He is in P3 this yr. He has always been a pessimistic child…i.e he tends to thinks of the worse case in everything that he sees/does. This is also evident in his attitude towards learning something new e.g a new topic such as division, a new stroke when he learning tennis, a new piece of song when learning piano etc. Whenever he learns something new and encounter difficulties, he will refuse to do the work, gives up straightaway, any-o-how do that piece of work, throw tantrums, argue with me etc. A lot of time is wasted on arguing, throwing tantrums, crying because he just does not want to try at all because he thinks he can’t do it. So I will sit down and go thru the steps with him but he is not able to absorb as his mind is already "blocked" mentally as he lacks the confidence to try. And sometimes, before I knew it, I had already helped him "finished" his homework…If I will to leave him to do it himself, he will just stare at the work for all the time I am away and wait for me to be back. So for a two page maths homework, it could take 2 hrs …It has been like that since P1 & it got worse this yr as he is learning things that are more difficult.

Any ideas what I should do? I have tried encouraging him by reminding him of what he has achieved in his last 3 yrs, how he manage to learn something even though he started off finding it difficult etc, how well he did for his work/tennis/piano etc. I guess it didn’t help that I am rather impatient with his learning attitude and lack of confidence…

One day, after a very bad session with him, he actually wrote on some papers lying around the house …" I have no brain"…I was so sad & shocked and really at a loss what to do.

[Breadandmuffins]

[quote]Ask him whether he really likes his tennis and piano, ask him how he wants his schoolwork to be coached (coached by you, tutor, or can be on own), and ask him any other activities that he wishes to join (even an activity that you may be frowned upon). Ask him what he wants, make him feel respected, let him have a feel that he does have some power to decide a life for himself (of course is under guidance[/quote]
Thank you insider for you helpful response. If I may seek your advice further, on a day to day basis during this difficuult period , should I continue to guide him in his work cos I did ask him whether he prefers a tutor and his answer is always \"I don't know\". In addition, the tension is already there each time I started helping him.

Could u also clarify what \"sacrificed his P3 means\" in terms of how I should respond when he needs help with school work?
[quote]PS: Do some self reflections: \"How long would it take me to learn to be more patient? How difficult it is?\" Once you have the answer, it will be about the same answer your child has about learning to be more confident. It's not easy...

Yes, this is indeed so difficult...& I always suspected I have some sort of a depression as I have 2 kid every 2 yrs (after my eldest DS was born). Also always finding excuses for myself as well...and breakdown easily after the 4th child.... Could you clarify the last stm in terms of the \"answer \" that I am looking for?

Thank you so much for your help.

[Breadandmuffins]

Thanks for your sharing. Your answers speak right to me and even though I give little details abt myself or my son, what u said is so true. I am so glad that you have shared so much and must have taken up some of your time…I have tried reading some books but I do not understand how it all fall in, that’s why I decided to turn to the forum.


You must have come across many similar cases in your work to be able to know so well how I or my son feel. DH and I really want to help him so that he will bring himself to greater heights in whatever he is doing. He is a smart and sweet boy and I really do not want him to be so unhappy each day.

Thanks for your advice once again.

PS: Is there anywhere/anybody I can formally seek such advice on children? Counsellors etc?