Club FTWM
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Hi all,
Im a FTWM too!! :celebrate:
I have a 6yrs+ DD and a 10mths+ DS... :love:
Nice to meet all the mummies here... :celebrate: -
minniemom:
.....Reason me working is, since mil is staying with us, she helps to look after the kids. I cant think of having myself n mil at home everyday (you know wat i meant)....
Hi minniemom,
we have some discussion about staying with in laws over here http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2075
Feel free to visit it. It takes long to read all the posts there.....
Anyway, welcom to FTWM club!! :celebrate: -
Me, another FTWM reporting here! My son is 12 weeks+ old. Now actively looking around for a suitable childcare centre for him. I cannot say i want to be a SAHM because i do enjoy going to work as i have pretty ok colleagues. But i also miss my son alot and wonder if i could have done more for him if i can afford to stay at home. My MIL resigned the moment i delivered so now, she is the main caregiver. Very worried that my son will not be close to me…
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butterwaffles:
Me, another FTWM reporting here! My son is 12 weeks+ old. Now actively looking around for a suitable childcare centre for him. I cannot say i want to be a SAHM because i do enjoy going to work as i have pretty ok colleagues. But i also miss my son alot and wonder if i could have done more for him if i can afford to stay at home. My MIL resigned the moment i delivered so now, she is the main caregiver. Very worried that my son will not be close to me...
Hello Butterwaffles!
Wow, how nice of your MIL to resign and look after your son! Better your son close to granny than to the maid! My son is very close to my maid but when I comes back he still clings to me. The mother & child bond is very strong so your son will naturally cling to you no matter what. As FTWM, we just have to be very disciplined and really spend as much time as we can after work to come home quickly. Lots of mum with young kids no longer attend the company D&D, go wedding dinners (non-relative), dept. dinners etc...etc... My son is now 2.5 yo and he is beginning to \"demand\" that I do things for him instead of the maid. eg. showering him, powdering and wearing his clothes, sleeping with him etc... I finds it tough after work as I am usually so tired, came back must bath & eat but young son will often cling and won't let me do anything but carry him. Much as I love him I found my temper quite short as well!
Best to be a SAHworkingM but financially hard to give up!
Let us all Jia You! Jia You! no matter what!
:celebrate: -
sanrioland:
Hi all,
Im a FTWM too!! :celebrate:
I have a 6yrs+ DD and a 10mths+ DS... :love:
Nice to meet all the mummies here... :celebrate:
Hello Sanrioland (so cute.....kawaii.....)
:imanisland:
I have a 2.5 yo DS. Welcome to the FTWM club!
:celebrate: -
DesertWind:
Well said, Desertwind. When our kid is under care by who ever, as long as we still spend time with them daily after work, there is no such thing that our kid will not be close to us. Not forgetting the 10 months of pregancy, nobody will be able to replace that. Like my own DS (4 yo this year), he was under care taken by nanny when he was 3 months old to 2 years old. He is close to his nanny (even now when he is not under her care, he still address his nanny as mummy XX-name of his nanny) but naturally he will still prefer me more than his nanny. Previously, I fetched him home every night after work, spent the short 3 hours despite of me watching TV throughout.....The mother & child bond is very strong so your son will naturally cling to you no matter what. As FTWM, we just have to be very disciplined and really spend as much time as we can after work to come home quickly........Let us all Jia You! Jia You! no matter what!
:celebrate:
And when he was about turning to 2 yo, i enrolled him to child care where he learn, play, taken care by, and finding this is the best solution for being FTWM. Of cos need into consideration of several factors like cost involved, our knock off time, the 5-6 days closure every year(usally DH and i will take turn to take leave)and not forgetting when kid is not well to attend school(need to take leave again).......Overall of this, we hope our boss will be UNDERSTANDING.....when we take leave bcos of kids......
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Luvkid:
Well said, Desertwind. When our kid is under care by who ever, as long as we still spend time with them daily after work, there is no such thing that our kid will not be close to us. Not forgetting the 10 months of pregnancy, nobody will be able to replace that......Overall of this, we hope our boss will be UNDERSTANDING.....when we take leave bcos of kids......
Hi Luvkid,
Thank you for your sharing! You didn't employ a maid? Then must be quite siong got to take leave quite a lot of time? I found quite a lot of leave is taken up to bring my 2.5 yo son for medical appointments!
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DesertWind, i agree with you that at least, my son is close to his ah-ma rather than a maid. Previously when i just started going back to work, i only bring him home on Friday nights and will bring him back to my MIL's on Monday mornings. Thou i visit him every night after work, everytime i leave my MIL's place, my heart feels very heavy & guilty.
It's been 3 weeks since i've returned to work but i miss him more and more. So yesterday & today, i brought my son home, thou i'll need to carry him on my own and take bus to my MIL's at 6.30am. But i think my MIL is secretly relieved ah, because my son is not easy BUT, i also feel abit guilty dragging my son here and there in the wee hours of the morning. My Fridays-Sundays are totally devoted to my son ah. Really hope my son will prefer me instead of his ah-ma because he is now the love of my life!
Luvkid, must be super hectic, fetching him everyday after work! At night also cannot rest...My son cries alot and his cries peaked when he was 8 weeks old. So i extended my maternity leave for another 2 weeks because i saw my MIL getting so impatient with him, keep shaking him harder and harder. Now that my son doesn't cry so much, she feels less stressed now. Thou i appreciate her willingness to help (she offered to take care of my son during weekday nights as well because she knows i have to take a bus to her place), i cannot help but feel bu fang xin after witnessing her shake my son. -
DesertWind:
YES, no maid, no parent to help (used to have mil taking care of DS1 when he was 2 months to 1 yo, i :faint: ) My miserable number of leaves (10 anuual + 3 child care leave) are very precious. Out of these 13 days, more than half are meant for the kids....No choice leh....juz gotta do it....Hi Luvkid,
Thank you for your sharing! You didn't employ a maid? Then must be quite siong got to take leave quite a lot of time? I found quite a lot of leave is taken up to bring my 2.5 yo son for medical appointments!
[quote]Previously when i just started going back to work, i only bring him home on Friday nights and will bring him back to my MIL's on Monday mornings. Thou i visit him every night after work, everytime i leave my MIL's place, my heart feels very heavy & guilty.
It's been 3 weeks since i've returned to work but i miss him more and more. So yesterday & today, i brought my son home, thou i'll need to carry him on my own and take bus to my MIL's at 6.30am. But i think my MIL is secretly relieved ah, because my son is not easy BUT, i also feel abit guilty dragging my son here and there in the wee hours of the morning. My Fridays-Sundays are totally devoted to my son ah. Really hope my son will prefer me instead of his ah-ma because he is now the love of my life! [/quote]
butterwaffles,
Dun feel guilty over this. U r fulfilling your best for being responsible mummy. give yourseld a pat on your back. It is really hard on both your son and yourself to take public transport to travel. Do some adjustment for his bedtime, bring forward earlier, then u can have a bit of rest too. The midnite wake up cries & feeding time can be really hectic, but remember it will be over soon.....
In months to come, when your son reaches 5 months, wean off the midnite feed for him and things will be easier for you. Starting off with replacing plain water, instead of milk....All these are tiring, i understand that......Your mil does not not becos wanting to hurt your son, she is trying to soothe him.
My DS2 was a difficult crybaby (but good thing was that he dun wake up for his midnite feed or cries since he was 1 week old, he was on both breast & formula milk, so enough to keep him till morning) too when he was 1 month old to .......i can't really remember until when. He liked to cry in anytime of the day for nothing. He could really scream on top of his voice despite of after milk feed. He was that type, difficult to take care in daytime but easy to take care at night
) I dun leave him alone when he cried, i carried him closely to me, played some soothing music, gave him pacifier, put him in the cradle (we call that as yao lan), and yao yao him till he quiet down 
I did all things to calm him down, totally neglected my DS1 at 4 yo then.....As u said, friday to sunday, all devoted the kids & not forgetting the piles of household chores!!! :rant: DS2 prefers me than his father, even till now. I cna;t stand his \"i want mummy, i want mummy.....\" But we will still have to do it.
Time passes fast, in a wink, your son will be easier to handle, just bear with it, get over with it, dun blame yourself.......You r already doing your best for him now :love: Dun worry, his heart will be with you :love:
Work hard!! :celebrate: -
Hi i’m new here and also a FTWM. Can anyone tell me what is DD and DS. I’m mountain tortise.
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