All About English Creative Writing
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Hi Lynn2,
I read through your daughter’s composition and grammatically, it is perfect, the vocabulary used is also great. It is also very innovative- the way she used the cockroach to resolve her situation. (She screamed when she saw the cockroach and that scream alerted the burglars but it also alerted her neighbour who called the police)
However, the reason that she probably did not score higher than 35 marks was that the situation of the burglary was resolved too quickly so as a reader, I am not totally engaged in the problem faced by the main character before the situation is resolved. The reader must feel for the character and be anxious to see that the character gets out safely. The character also did not seem very scared and so as the reader, I do not feel much for her.
So instead of saying that she was struggling with the burglar and then have Mr Tan the neighbour quickly came in to help, she could write something like this:
("Please don’t hurt me," I whimpered as I saw the burglar walk menacingly towards me. Brandishing a serrated knife, he came closer and closer, laughing at my fear.
Run! The word seemed to explode on the inside of my mind but my jelly-like legs refuse to cooperate. Moving back slowly, I flinched at the look of malevolence in the burglar’s eyes. His accomplice stood back, staring at me as well.
"I am going to take my time to silence you!" the burglar gave a sinister smile.
Sobbing, I backed away as far as I could. My legs were shaking and my hands were clammy. Looking around in desperation, I could see no feasible way out. Just as I found myself backing into the wall, I heard somebody call out, "Postman here, anyone at home?"
The interruption gave me all the strength I needed and I ran pell-mell, helter-skelter towards the front door, screaming for help. Thud, thud, thud…I could hear the burglar’s footsteps follow behind me.
"Please help me, please!" I screamed in terror.
"I’m calling the police!" the postman bellowed from outside.
Almost there, I was almost at the door when big burly arms came around me. I was held in a vise-like grip and I could feel the cruel cold blade against my neck…)
Your daughter could go on to say that the burglar held her at knifepoint and how she was later rescued when the police shot his leg or something so her main focus is on the burglar and her and not so much on her moving around the house, looking for the burglar.
But I would also like to say there is no one perfect way to write, different writers have different styles, she just needs to write more and explore the different ways to make her writing more gripping:)
I hope this helps:)
TAS -
thank you.
Do u have holidays prog that can help her to fine tune her writing skills?
Did u manage to read on her second compo?thanks
rgds
Lynn2 -
Hi, The Alternative Story
Can help to advise on the sentence below whether the use of ring and ringing.
- As Mr Tan was walking towards the lift, he heard the emergency bell ringing.
- As Mr Tan was walking towards the lift, he heard the emergency bell ring.
Are both the sentence correct?
Can advise please?
Tx -
Herbie,
If you don’t mind me jumping in…
I believe both sentences are correct grammatically, but they do have different meanings.
In the first, the use of "ring" implies a one off sound.
In the second, the use of the extention "ing" implies that it was a continuing sound.
C -
Lynn2:
Hi Lynn,thank you.
Do u have holidays prog that can help her to fine tune her writing skills?
Did u manage to read on her second compo?thanks
rgds
Lynn2
Yes we do have holiday programs, we have put them up on the Happenings thread, perhaps you could go there to take a look. Basically, it is a PSLE/Year End Readiness program that gets them ready for the year end examinations. We will cover comprehension strategies, vocabulary building and creative writing among other things.
We also have an on-going Sunday class to help high ability students reach their full potential in writing and also the other components in the English examination. You could email us , pm or call us for further details on this particular program.
We have not had the chance to read it yet as today was quite a busy day for many of the teachers. Will get back to you as soon as we read it.:)
TAS -
Herbie:
Hi Herbie,Hi, The Alternative Story
Can help to advise on the sentence below whether the use of ring and ringing.
- As Mr Tan was walking towards the lift, he heard the emergency bell ringing.
- As Mr Tan was walking towards the lift, he heard the emergency bell ring.
Are both the sentence correct?
Can advise please?
Tx
Engtutor is right in saying that for 'ring' it is a one off sound and for 'ringing' it is a continuous sound. For the examination, markers accept both answers. However there are exceptions, for example, for the verb 'made'
- He made her cry (correct)
- He made her crying (wrong)
'He made her crying' is wrong because the verb 'make' has a connotation of it being a one-off event, it is like a child poking another child and that child cries, it is one-off. He poked her, she cried. That is when we say 'He made her cry'
However for verbs like 'saw', 'heard' etc, it can be both a one off event or a continuous one.
- He saw her cry (she cried out or maybe she just cried for a split second)
- He saw her crying (she did not stop and kept on crying the whole time he was looking at her)
TAS -
Hi TAS
Do you have English creative writing classes for secondary one students?
How about this question?
We _________ that it was unnecessary for them to react so violently.
1) felt
2) feel
3) have felt
4) had felt
Could the answer be felt or feel as well?
Best wishes -
Hi TAS
I am unsure with gerunds and participles in this sentence.
As Mr Tan was walking towards the lift, he heard the emergency bell ringing.
In this case, does ringing function as an adjective modifying the noun bell or gerund?
I think it's an adjective, but wish you could help to confirm it.
Best wishes -
Thanks TAS,
I have another qn.
1. There is no use in _______ learning to swim. The weather here is too cold for swimming.
a. I
b. my
c. me
Why is the answer b. Can help to explain?
2. The dog escaped through the open gate and was _________ over by a car.
a. run
b. ran
c. being run
why is the answer a and not b?
3. All types of document are being forged. The problem is growing.
Forging ___________________________________________.
4. Andy was brave and calm when he faced the storm. His friends were afraid.
Unlike ____________.
5. My uncle would rather watch movies at home than go to a cinema.
prefers ___________________________
Can provide the answer? Tx -
tianzhu:
Hi tianzhu,Hi TAS
Do you have English creative writing classes for secondary one students?
Best wishes
Yes we do have English classes for secondary 1 and in the classes we cover both creative writing and comprehension strategies.
TAS
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