2018 PSLE Discussions & Strategies (Born in 2006)
-
Estéema:
Thanks for mentioning abt stress..I was talking to dd abt stress..there may be something I m taking too lightly without knowing that it may have a greater impact on kid's emotional well-being..to me I thought I was half joking whenever we discuss abt it. Keep mentioning about psle may be stressful to the kids.@ zac’s mum Thank you for sharing.
Stress is in midst of our lives. As parents, we need to help our kids navigate it, be resilient tonit or fend those toxic stress off. -
I remembered a ted talk about stress which was really cool. May be good to share another perspective on whether stress is good or bad or neither?
IMHO, parents cannot help DC if we do not learn and improve too. We should go out and learn something new too!
https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend/transcript?language=en
Enjoy! -
Thanks for sharing and caring, from many other posts.
This has been on my mind since I got to know of my friend's lost. Been comforting the mum for sometime, the long 3 years before this final point. Just wanted to reach out to even if it's just 1 kid/parent. It's not just unhealthy stress, my view, in the midst of trying to protect our kids from failure, prepare them for the adult working world to lay a path of certainty, we may forgot something more important, our kids themselves.
The seed could hv been planted unknowing in pre sec or even pre sch days, can be as potent as a bomb waiting to be set off. By who, not the parents. The value tag to a 3digit number, how it affect how a child view herself/himself during pri sch days when it is a time they are defining themselves and by right, discovery, finding out about beauty of life. They discover life is not beautiful. They discover they are lousy, not good enough, not loved, by the world around them, society. Society make up by us.
Actually, from my own observation, competition among pri kids are quite healthy and pure. They encourage and spur each other on to do better. That's where friendship can form good support. Healthy stress can be good, agree.
MOE can change ways school implement approach to striving excellence by gearing towards holistic, removing ranking, study for learning not for exam etc. But they cant change us , the society, not directly, not in 1 day or not in 1 psle.
Was warned that no many would relate or understand the intensity even if I were to share. Only the direct family knows the pain. This is not one isolated case, some of us know, the numbers are alarming and rising. One thing is for sure, don't blame the parents, they are in pain already. It's the child's own self expectations were too much to handle, i feel.
So do we just wash hands off our kids and leave them to be wild? No that's not the intention of the post, just remember to keep our expectations to ourselves, be more sensitive, and,
When times are tough, remember their innocent beautiful face when they first enter this world.Estéema:
It’s sad when we missed our kids being overly pressurizing themselves. That’s why we hv the impt role as adults to guide our young ones to be realistic & down-to-earth and not be carried away by what society & world is doing. We need to be discerning ourselves coz I find it so easy to slip into the trap of looking out and let our eyes leave our kiddos. Somehow, kids get the vibes fr what parents are doing & we need to explain ourselves so they’re not led to their own conclusions.lee_yl:
Some geppers have high expectations of themselves. That day, DD2 saw her classmate sobbing and left the classroom within 5mins upon collecting her result.
DD2 went up to console her and tried to cheer her up. Alamak, turn up this girl’s tscore was higher than my daughter’s. :roll:
One of her super bright classmate also appeared to be suffering from depression. I believe a child who choose to end his/her is likely to suffer from some form of depression.
In hindsight, there was a possible tell-tale sign: “ I see no future”. People suffering from depression see the world as very bleak.
I’ve shared this before in other threads, abt an ex-MP’s son who excelled but had constantly put pressure on himself & he sank into depression thinking he didn’t do well enuf to graduate in Oxford & ended his life even before his results. He did well & awarded posthumously. I’m sure it broke his parents’ hearts as it was heart-reaching for me to heat of it.
I guess u can say no one suggest or pressurize him to be top of the top performer. I won’t be surprise somewhere in his desire to please his parents, to make his parents proud pushes him. Very often, we’re not conscious when we praise or speak highly of other kids, our own may aspire to be noticed. We need to constantly affirm our own children, hug our kids more, esp after punishment for corrective actions or discipline, we need to put our love in action of love to show how we differentiate our never changing love as oppose to actions/behaviour that are not acceptable.
Sorry, don’t mean to ‘lecture’ but just sth I learnt fr a frd right after this oxford student’s demise, we might not realised our family & kids shld be of priority over our outside life (work, Social life, etc). Once we loose touch with our kids, it’s hard to reach out to them in a deep sense. -
very thankful for such sharings! :thankyou:
-
thisis2012:
My DC attends HCI but he says most of his classmates are Singaporeans.phtthp:
Yes, my friend said that when entered Hwa Chong boarding school compound, a lot of PRC parents talked loudly, chit-chatting loudly, when they walked around the boarding school premises with their PRC children .
so is it really true that HCI has a larger than normal number of foreign students? That’s what I heard.
And I’m not talking about its international school of cos. -
Judyshim01:
My DC attends HCI but he says most of his classmates are Singaporeans.[/quote]Thanks for replying. much appreciated.thisis2012:
[quote=\"phtthp\"]Yes, my friend said that when entered Hwa Chong boarding school compound, a lot of PRC parents talked loudly, chit-chatting loudly, when they walked around the boarding school premises with their PRC children .
so is it really true that HCI has a larger than normal number of foreign students? That’s what I heard.
And I’m not talking about its international school of cos. -
Estéema:
Hi,
No lah. We also let our kids make their own choices. If DS wants to join his peers, we see the merits of continuing building on their frdship & be in a strong sch culture with some history/alumni.laughingcat:
I also have to disagreed with you. Not all parents put ideas to kids. I have seen parents let the kids decide. Some parents just want the kids to follow the same path as they are too busy to do all the nitty gritty stuff.....less effort no time. Some parents feel that follow the affiliation path to avoid any hassle. Like me when I was young until a letter from the MOE to specifically asking me to go to this this and that that school.
Stepped into my DC school, one will feel the vibes about continuing on the \"family\". Unlike you, we never talk about other schools at their young age until when DC1 was at P5. I have to drag DC to various open house even the \"not top school\" just to open up his mind about the various types of schools can offer. Only finally can open up DC1 mind. But not for my DC2.
For me, I do not want to influence their decision. I only answer their question and direct them to make informed decision. I purely let them decide. Bring them to various open house like host hunting which I have so much joy in meeting the teenagers. Although deep in my heart, I would like them to go to my alma mater. But then it is not me going to the school.
At one time, DH wants DC for RI whilst I was shooting for NUSH (not for self but thot DC shld consider). But a year before taking child to all the respective Open House, it dawn on me that it’s not my choice but DC’s choice & comfort level. I shudder coz realised my dashing young fellow is not the book mugger but wld enjoy project work, presentations, reads widely of all genre and his temperament may not be suited to “my choice” which I wld then be doing injustice to maroon him in all the sciences he may not be ready for till much later.
So, when DS was offered DSA into RI & ACSI, we let him decide. Thankful, his own choice actually enlightened us to the fact that he choose a door that provide less rigidity & wider choices later in his journey. It’s his unique decision.
TBH be it RI vs NUSH or RI vs ACSI, they are not exactly very tough choices.
All the best to your DC. -
MrsKiasu:
I m not sure abt the school/teacher whether encoursge or not, I m neutral..dd is the one who wants it. The way I see, like treat both as (same) Chinese papers and in terms of marks of course hcl is lower than cl. I seldom print cl/hcl past year papers for her to do since she already has tuition..dont say revising tingxie..earlier of the year esp first qtr, I still see her recording own tingxie and replay to give herself tingxie..I offered my help she says no need. After that, back to usual self haiz.
Guess what MKS.... I contemplated it after DC was offered HCL. But my DC's ex-school teacheradvice not to proceed. Thinking about it, my DC will never go SAP school. So I have decided to drop it.laughingcat:
[quote=\"MrsKiasu\"]
true and I agree..told kid before, and reply received was same same, cl and hcl :? and surviving so I thought just let it be if offered.
leeyl, xiao dingdang arh? likely no.. actually I m not sure what comic books..eg the Bt Merah library is small right, so once there she will go to that section and say she is so happy to see so many comic books, those with continuation/episodes type..I saw her roping in the librarian to help her find also..the 32 books loan was the 2nd batch after exam..I was quite unhappy say after this loan no more borrowing le since everytime also comic books..how to learn eg proper sentence structure right.[/quote]@MKS,
Someone told me that reading comics is a good way to intro a child to reading. Esp for Chinese, can start from Xiao dingdang. BUT later on, it is true that comics cannot teach proper sentence structure.
@LC,
From your post, now I understand why your son’s school has this reputation of doing poorly in Chinese (or just my perception). Seems like it has something to do with the school culture. That teacher also not encouraging leh.
With the new AL Banding for your DS2, I hope your school can shift some focus to this area, or else, the school will have a majority of the 9 or 10 pointers! Scary leh, later neighborhood schools can do better than that.
P/S: Scoring 64% for Chinese alone already costs you AL6 points! -
lee_yl, you are spot on pertaining to CL in my child's school. The mentality of \"owning\" the world just fluent in conversation can liao. Even some parents also have the same thoughts - the power of CL writing is not important. Yeah...I rolled my eyes when I hear that. When both DC chinese are among the top in class, the gaps are so wide. The boys in school dun necessary hate the language just that too troublesome to find the meaning. They rather play.
But when I give ad hoc oral training to these boys, they are having so much fun.
I remembered when I was young in a christian all girls school, likewise, my school then don't emphasise so much on Chinese (even todate). Until when I transferred to NYPS at P4, I have a rude shock of the school culture, worse when my family is a peranakan and my chinese name is given by the school teacher. Yeah some schools just don't emphasize on CL. So I am thankful both my DC love CL. Heng ah. Maybe thanks to all the 武侠小说
Come to think of it, my DC are happy in the \"not-so-good-in-CL-school\" as they enjoyed being one of the best in CL. Maybe that give them an extra push for excellence in CL. -
lee_yl:
@MKS,
I m not sure abt the school/teacher whether encoursge or not, I m neutral..dd is the one who wants it. The way I see, like treat both as (same) Chinese papers and in terms of marks of course hcl is lower than cl. I seldom print cl/hcl past year papers for her to do since she already has tuition..dont say revising tingxie..earlier of the year esp first qtr, I still see her recording own tingxie and replay to give herself tingxie..I offered my help she says no need. After that, back to usual self haiz.MrsKiasu:
[quote=\"laughingcat\"]
Guess what MKS.... I contemplated it after DC was offered HCL. But my DC's ex-school teacheradvice not to proceed. Thinking about it, my DC will never go SAP school. So I have decided to drop it.
leeyl, xiao dingdang arh? likely no.. actually I m not sure what comic books..eg the Bt Merah library is small right, so once there she will go to that section and say she is so happy to see so many comic books, those with continuation/episodes type..I saw her roping in the librarian to help her find also..the 32 books loan was the 2nd batch after exam..I was quite unhappy say after this loan no more borrowing le since everytime also comic books..how to learn eg proper sentence structure right.
Someone told me that reading comics is a good way to intro a child to reading. Esp for Chinese, can start from Xiao dingdang. BUT later on, it is true that comics cannot teach proper sentence structure.
@LC,
From your post, now I understand why your son’s school has this reputation of doing poorly in Chinese (or just my perception). Seems like it has something to do with the school culture. That teacher also not encouraging leh.
With the new AL Banding for your DS2, I hope your school can shift some focus to this area, or else, the school will have a majority of the 9 or 10 pointers! Scary leh, later neighborhood schools can do better than that.
P/S: Scoring 64% for Chinese alone already costs you AL6 points![/quote]Not true. I wldnt say the level of CL is low but with the CL team, I’m sure the std is continuously upkept midst the changes & transfers of teachers. But do consider, boys are typically not geared towards language but perform much better in Math & Sc comparatively. Over the years, and last year, the CL scores hit record for the school & progressive improvement over the years. Over 6 years, we had witnessed its progressive achievements.
However, we made a decision not to take up HCL on the basis of not adding burden of learning HCL during Pri Level and DC had been performing well in all other subj, owise our concern was DC might tire of learning the CL & ‘switch off’ / averse to the language. When he scored his A*, we were not only happy for him but gave him our blessings to take up HCL at sec level, as he’s more mature towards studies.
OT Discussion (but related strategies for KSP parents’ consideration if anyone interested to explore incl those parents who homeschool their kids), I’ve shared the efforts the sch had made over the years with improving results.
https://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=4409&p=1887576#p1887576
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login