Me Time!

[starlight1968sg]

janet88\" post_id=\"1904059\" time=\"1553733688\" user_id=\"12950:

hi ladies,
do you have problems learning to let go?
by right, I should be happy...but I feel rather down.
son is 19, doing poly internship and pretty much independent. next year, he will be enlisting for NS.
daughter in sec 3. will be having OBS camp.
I find it hard to accept the kids flying off.

Janet
You are definitely not alone.
When my dd chose to stay in Tembusu College instead of home which is near to NUS, I had a hard time accepting bec I will miss her much. I was reminded when I left for UK to study, then married, how did my mum feel?

It is a happy prob; we cant expect our kids to be forever running around us...

[MrsKiasu]

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..


I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

[starlight1968sg]

It is a feeling of emptiness; returning home which is an empty nest; loss of motivation or sense of direction. It takes quite a while to get used to it.

[Joyymum]

I don’t look forward to kids leaving the nest too I Guess most will feel the same…


Is it that the men don’t think like us? Just curious

Father would prefer the kids to grow up faster and leave the nest ?

I always say I want my babies back

[MyPillow]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

i enjoyed the time whereby ds in lower to mid pri ; dd a preschooler
Both were v adorable playing Lego , computer games, doing their own video clips n upload in youtube channel

i think for both of us shouldn't feel the impact that much yet la... i guess when teens finish Sec sch education going to jc/poly/ uni /NS - the lonely n empty feel will knock in ....
dh n me sort of plan out - he all the while is a active sports person -he can go for his run n bikes overseas as often as he likes - i can follow him . Or I can divert my time in church charity/community work ... very busy one too ..

[Funz]

I don't feel it much now because by the time I get home on most days, kids are home as well. There have been days when all were away, one at camp another have gathering with friends and DH is overseas. I actually kinda enjoy those days. On some occasions like that I will jio my friends for dinner and drinks.


DD said that she does not want to go overseas for studies. For attachment, ok but she cannot imagine being on her own for 2-3yrs. Told her cos she is still young. Maybe in another 2 years she might change her mind, especially if she sees her friends heading overseas. She say maybe but you come along with me.

[lee_yl]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Slmkhoo has rejoined the workforce recently and she seems to be enjoying what she’s doing.

Empty nest syndrome usually hits SAHM the most.

Janet, why not you look for some courses to take up? Cooking classes to upskill your culinary kungfu? Or do some community works like what MP suggested. I intend to be a foster parent when the time comes, since I enjoy taking care / cooking for children. Try to fill your time with things to do. I don’t like an empty house so I am out almost everyday to shop or look for nice food.

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

[Funz]

There was a study done and it shows that if the husband leaves, the wife may end up being better off, mentally and physically. Whereas if the wife is the one who leaves first, the husband will be worse off.

[MyPillow]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904101\" time=\"1553751174\" user_id=\"17023:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Slmkhoo has rejoined the workforce recently and she seems to be enjoying what she’s doing.

Empty nest syndrome usually hits SAHM the most.

Janet, why not you look for some courses to take up? Cooking classes to upskill your culinary kungfu? Or do some community works like what MP suggested. I intend to be a foster parent when the time comes, since I enjoy taking care / cooking for children. Try to fill your time with things to do. I don’t like an empty house so I am out almost everyday to shop or look for nice food.

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

do woman need another companion if already in her 60s ? unlikely right ... 50s ...maybe to some woman (?)

[lee_yl]

I don’t know leh. At 60s, not for the physical intimacy but for companionship? I am someone who constantly need someone to talk to at night before sleeping. When I am in 60s and can reasonably live to my 80s, that’s another 20 years! No wonder my MIL was caught talking to herself many times.


Just now while having lunch, one ah pek sitting next to me was with a PRC auntie. The PRC auntie kept asking uncle to buy this and buy that. No wonder govt scared uncles would spend all their CPF at Batam. Everyone needs some companionship, I suppose.