Me Time!

[lee_yl]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Slmkhoo has rejoined the workforce recently and she seems to be enjoying what she’s doing.

Empty nest syndrome usually hits SAHM the most.

Janet, why not you look for some courses to take up? Cooking classes to upskill your culinary kungfu? Or do some community works like what MP suggested. I intend to be a foster parent when the time comes, since I enjoy taking care / cooking for children. Try to fill your time with things to do. I don’t like an empty house so I am out almost everyday to shop or look for nice food.

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

[Funz]

There was a study done and it shows that if the husband leaves, the wife may end up being better off, mentally and physically. Whereas if the wife is the one who leaves first, the husband will be worse off.

[MyPillow]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904101\" time=\"1553751174\" user_id=\"17023:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Slmkhoo has rejoined the workforce recently and she seems to be enjoying what she’s doing.

Empty nest syndrome usually hits SAHM the most.

Janet, why not you look for some courses to take up? Cooking classes to upskill your culinary kungfu? Or do some community works like what MP suggested. I intend to be a foster parent when the time comes, since I enjoy taking care / cooking for children. Try to fill your time with things to do. I don’t like an empty house so I am out almost everyday to shop or look for nice food.

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

do woman need another companion if already in her 60s ? unlikely right ... 50s ...maybe to some woman (?)

[lee_yl]

I don’t know leh. At 60s, not for the physical intimacy but for companionship? I am someone who constantly need someone to talk to at night before sleeping. When I am in 60s and can reasonably live to my 80s, that’s another 20 years! No wonder my MIL was caught talking to herself many times.


Just now while having lunch, one ah pek sitting next to me was with a PRC auntie. The PRC auntie kept asking uncle to buy this and buy that. No wonder govt scared uncles would spend all their CPF at Batam. Everyone needs some companionship, I suppose.

[MrsKiasu]

from what I heard yeah, at 60s even 70s still need companionship…when I was young I dont understand but now yeah…we are just human.

[MrsKiasu]

I foresee myself working when I m lao kok kok now I know, that is the item no.1 in my bucket list .

[MyPillow]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904107\" time=\"1553752794\" user_id=\"17023:

I don’t know leh. At 60s, not for the physical intimacy but for companionship? I am someone who constantly need someone to talk to at night before sleeping. When I am in 60s and can reasonably live to my 80s, that’s another 20 years! No wonder my MIL was caught talking to herself many times.

Just now while having lunch, one ah pek sitting next to me was with a PRC auntie. The PRC auntie kept asking uncle to buy this and buy that. No wonder govt scared uncles would spend all their CPF at Batam. Everyone needs some companionship, I suppose.

good that u know n \"see\" your needs ..
hmmm... for 60s woman - got people want meh? also need spend $ to look for xiao xian rou .... :rotflmao: ( abit gross ..yeeks) the 60s/70s yo ah peks may look for younger woman in 40s, 50s etc chee kor ones look for 20s/30s prc, Vietnamese
i do know a case , uncle is more than mid 60s now , after spouse passed 10yrs ago , he found an auntie (single) in mid 50s , both local n get married.

[Funz]

Aunt passed away 2 yrs ago. Uncle found a companion and this year we met her during CNY. Uncle is 84. His new lady friend is 60+yrs old. Both of them met while volunteering at some old folks home. We are glad that he has found himself a companion. We were worried that he will be lonely but he kept himself active and occupied with all the community activities and volunteer work.

[lee_yl]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1904112\" time=\"1553753799\" user_id=\"70594:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904107\" time=\"1553752794\" user_id=\"17023:

I don’t know leh. At 60s, not for the physical intimacy but for companionship? I am someone who constantly need someone to talk to at night before sleeping. When I am in 60s and can reasonably live to my 80s, that’s another 20 years! No wonder my MIL was caught talking to herself many times.

Just now while having lunch, one ah pek sitting next to me was with a PRC auntie. The PRC auntie kept asking uncle to buy this and buy that. No wonder govt scared uncles would spend all their CPF at Batam. Everyone needs some companionship, I suppose.

good that u know n \"see\" your needs ..
hmmm... for 60s woman - got people want meh? also need spend $ to look for xiao xian rou .... :rotflmao: ( abit gross ..yeeks) the 60s/70s yo ah peks may look for younger woman in 40s, 50s etc chee kor ones look for 20s/30s prc, Vietnamese
i do know a case , uncle is more than mid 60s now , after spouse passed 10yrs ago , he found an auntie (single) in mid 50s , both local n get married.

I think no need to confuse xiao xian rou with old age companionship. Why women in their 60s must fork out money to look for xiao xian rou leh? Can’t it just be an uncle (whose spouse passed away or a divorcee), looking for companionship? Something like what Funz just shared

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904071\" time=\"1553739994\" user_id=\"43981:

hahaha I m not sure how slmkhoo feels..but I kinda feel for her after knowing that her dd went overseas to study..guess most mums are like that ba..but to us who has experienced being let go and obtained independence earlier, I believe most of us are happy to have that..

I agree with all kakis, we need to get ready, be prepared for that day, time to reclaim our own life..think of what to do..it may not an easy task for sahm..some need more time to think..or to take action. I, though at a corner of my heart preparing for that day to come, feel there is still alot of baggages be it of the past or on the future, till you dont know how to appreciate the present..at times, I miss my babies so much, wish could do a rewind to feel them ...it feels like as though they are different beings..think I m sot sot already

Don't feel sorry for me! I'm not sad at all! Of course I miss her a bit, but I'm happy that she's having all those great growing-up experiences and benefiting from them. And we get to share them a bit as well through her Insta posts and Skype chats. Like MKS, I was \"let go\" at 19 and went overseas to study too, and I'm glad that my daughter can enjoy that kind of experience. I would be even happier for my older daughter if she were able to grow the same way, but that's another story.

For Janet, and other SAHM with teenagers, it's really important to develop your own social circles, interests etc. Maybe learn some new skills, do PT work, volunteer, rediscover activities you can do with your husband, especially look for things you can expand as your time allows. Your children may still need you now, but you can start weaning them off having so much attention. That way, you don't experience a sharp break when they finally leave home. And your children will be relieved of the burden of knowing that they have a depressed mother at home.

Since returning to Singapore nearly 6 yrs ago, I have taken on PT and freelance work, and gradually increased my time outside the home as well as the time I spend working. I'm not doing the same kind of work (related, but different) as I was before I became a SAHM, so I guess you can say I'm re-inventing myself to some extent. It's a good feeling to be able to move on to another phase of life, knowing that we've done (what we hope is) a good job with our kids and they are ready to be independent and eventually raise their own kids.

The empty nest is a normal part of life's progression. If we have raised our kids well, we will never lose them even if they don't live with us. We just have to adjust our lives according to the circumstances.