Me Time!

[MrsKiasu]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1904156\" time=\"1553784145\" user_id=\"70594:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904154\" time=\"1553782930\" user_id=\"43981:

slmkhoo, you have planned well..could manage all the transitions smoothly.

leeyl, agree with you lor it is the companionship no much of xiaoxianrou or wat la..

:rotflmao: Xiao xian Rou is just a joke la , dun think a snr woman look for such r/ ship

Frankly , do u think u will find a companion - let’s say already in 60s after spouse pass?
For myself - been thinking casually abt it after leeyl post - I do not know at the moment , but another thought is can’t forget the spouse lei , after living n loving for so many decades...
Next is if our parent finds a companion , can we as kids accept ? Is the r/ship out of money or real care / love ... hmmm ... ?

jk jk here too

on companion..I never thought of it for myself but gave it a thought after talking abt this..for dh ..last time I feel no la, I will still feel jealous even gone but now I would think dont want dh to live miserably too..just hope that it only comes with blessing from the children..maybe let my kids be truly independent before need sharing the love of their dad? touc wood touch wood, just hope we could live happy, long life and healthy la
for our parents, when I was young I wont like..but now I changed my mind..why not as we do not have time for them.. yup of course worry their money got cheated, I think very normal worries..

[sharonkhoo]

janet88\" post_id=\"1904145\" time=\"1553778307\" user_id=\"12950:

we have been staying at our new place for just 9 months.
guess what, he is already thinking of downsizing :faint:
I told him, 'no way. I'm enjoying the shiok feeling of a new flat. it was so hard to get it.'
then he told the kids to apply for flats in Tengah when they get married. he will tutor and send the grandchildren to and fro. :roll:

Well, it's something to bear in mind. You won't need to seriously consider it for quite a few years yet as even your son has many years to go before becoming truly independent. Even for us, though we are almost certain to downsize eventually, it won't be for several years yet. And my kids are older than yours.

We are definitely not offering to tutor or chauffer any grandkids! Emergency services only.

[janet88]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1904147\" time=\"1553778998\" user_id=\"14025:

Janet
You may change when your kids grow up. It is better to hv a small empty than a big empty nest

I guess so.
maybe he knows I won't be able to clean a big place when I am old.
but the BTO with 1 room and 1 hall is small for 2 people.

[janet88]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"1904173\" time=\"1553824804\" user_id=\"28674:

Well, it's something to bear in mind. You won't need to seriously consider it for quite a few years yet as even your son has many years to go before becoming truly independent. Even for us, though we are almost certain to downsize eventually, it won't be for several years yet. And my kids are older than yours.

We are definitely not offering to tutor or chauffer any grandkids! Emergency services only.

I know it's selfish to say we are not going to chauffeur because my parents are helping us...but the thought of looking after grandchildren is not on my mind because I look after my kids 24/7 since they were born.
grandchildren and own kids are different. I can scold and discipline my kids but not grandkids. their father or mother will go after me. I am not the kind who can tolerate spoilt kids.

[janet88]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904155\" time=\"1553783009\" user_id=\"43981:

Janet, yr dh got plan on what to do next time already..

if he wants to be nice grandfather, he can go ahead...but as a SAHM looking after my own kids all these years, I am very scared of wailing babies now...really very scared and noise intolerant.

[starlight1968sg]

Janet

"I can scold and discipline my kids but not grandkids" - I agreed!

[janet88]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1904178\" time=\"1553825463\" user_id=\"14025:

Janet
\"I can scold and discipline my kids but not grandkids\" - I agreed!

my parents are all for discipline.
when I discipline my kids, they will not side. I told hubby since day 1 we have to be united when it comes to discipline because I do not want kids to grow up to be spoilt. before going out, I would warn them not to cry and demand for anything in public or they will get a whacking when we reach home. I hate it when I see kids sitting on the floor and making a scene. it's not embarrassing for them, but very much for the mum.

[lee_yl]

janet88\" post_id=\"1904145\" time=\"1553778307\" user_id=\"12950:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1904101\" time=\"1553751174\" user_id=\"17023:

I am not worried about empty nest, by then, it’s almost time my hubby retires (he’s already in his 50s) and I have to nag at him.

Actually, I am more worried he will “leave early”. If spouse leaves suddenly, can also suffer from empty nest syndrome. DH kind enough to ask me to go find another companion after his passing.

we have been staying at our new place for just 9 months.
guess what, he is already thinking of downsizing :faint:
I told him, 'no way. I'm enjoying the shiok feeling of a new flat. it was so hard to get it.'
then he told the kids to apply for flats in Tengah when they get married. he will tutor and send the grandchildren to and fro. :roll:

Or your hubby means in 10 years time? Lol.

If any of your kids decides to stay with you, keeping the flat is ok. In case your kids decide to settle down and live elsewhere, then I agree with Starlight, having a small empty nest is better than a big empty one.

Actually you can start planning early. I read up a bit on ‘empty nest’ just now. The earlier you plan (and let go bit by bit), the pain is less sharp when the time finally comes. Really, try to find something (a hobby or volunteering work) to keep yourself busy. Stay positive, to keep dwelling on it may lead to depression.

[lee_yl]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1904158\" time=\"1553785226\" user_id=\"43981:

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1904156\" time=\"1553784145\" user_id=\"70594:

[quote=MrsKiasu post_id=1904154 time=1553782930 user_id=43981]slmkhoo, you have planned well..could manage all the transitions smoothly.

leeyl, agree with you lor it is the companionship no much of xiaoxianrou or wat la..

:rotflmao: Xiao xian Rou is just a joke la , dun think a snr woman look for such r/ ship

Frankly , do u think u will find a companion - let’s say already in 60s after spouse pass?
For myself - been thinking casually abt it after leeyl post - I do not know at the moment , but another thought is can’t forget the spouse lei , after living n loving for so many decades...
Next is if our parent finds a companion , can we as kids accept ? Is the r/ship out of money or real care / love ... hmmm ... ?

jk jk here too

on companion..I never thought of it for myself but gave it a thought after talking abt this..for dh ..last time I feel no la, I will still feel jealous even gone but now I would think dont want dh to live miserably too..just hope that it only comes with blessing from the children..maybe let my kids be truly independent before need sharing the love of their dad? touc wood touch wood, just hope we could live happy, long life and healthy la
for our parents, when I was young I wont like..but now I changed my mind..why not as we do not have time for them.. yup of course worry their money got cheated, I think very normal worries..[/quote]Wow MKS, must give you a “like” leh.
Perhaps all of us do feel jealous but since we “can’t see” anymore, we do wish our surviving spouses happiness. Love is not about being possessive.

My hubby said right now, all of us can’t imagine how scary/painful/lonely one can be ... He thinks it’s selfish if the surviving spouse had to live alone for the next 30-40 years because he/she remembered the other half said “no har, no har, you cannot remarry!!”

Actually in my earlier post, I mean “pass on suddenly” as of right NOW (touch wood), not when we are in our 60s lah. Losing a spouse can also lead to “empty nest syndrome”.

At 60s (20 to 25 years down the road), I haven’t really thought that far yet. Perhaps at 60s, won’t purposely look for one but if someone comes into my life, I will seriously think about it. As for my H, he says he will respect the kids’ wishes when making such choices.

@MP, as for 骗钱 right, I think unless the mummy is a millionaire, but if the man side is rich, then nothing to worry bah.

[MyPillow]

leeyl… i think your dh thought is right "go along & respect the kids wishes to make choices "