How to teach preschooler/lower primary school kid to be responsible for their belongings

[hurlyburly6.019192gmail.019192com]

What do they lose? Can you replace it with an inferior alternative - e.g. if they lose their fancy pencil box, they get a plain one until the end of the term/year/something? My kids are too little for this but I can see my girl being motivated by no longer having sparkly things, but not so much by having to use her own money (savings are too abstract to her at this point).

[zac's mum]

The “fine” system only works if the cost of the item is much more than their allowance. Eg one brand new water bottle (those Avengers kind) usually costs $15. My DS daily allowance is only $3, minus away $2 for recess, means only $1 savings per day.


For him to save up to buy one replacement bottle takes 15 weekdays. Previously he lost a bottle every.single.day. After watching his savings depleting to almost nothing, he felt the pinch and started being more responsible.

I dunno how u can solve for smaller items like pencils. I label all with his name. If lost small items, I don’t replace. He needs to go to school bookshop to buy his own replacement, if no one willing to lend him.

[hethet]

hb\" post_id=\"1928396\" time=\"1565680239\" user_id=\"179788:

What do they lose? Can you replace it with an inferior alternative - e.g. if they lose their fancy pencil box, they get a plain one until the end of the term/year/something? My kids are too little for this but I can see my girl being motivated by no longer having sparkly things, but not so much by having to use her own money (savings are too abstract to her at this point).

Lost stationery, broke the water bottle, crumbled worksheet. basically doesn't take care of his stuffs.
actually he doesn't have preference on his stationery/water bottle. he is ok with just anything we replace. :stupid:

[hethet]

The “fine” system only works if the cost of the item is much more than their allowance. Eg one brand new water bottle (those Avengers kind) usually costs $15. My DS daily allowance is only $3, minus away $2 for recess, means only $1 savings per day.

it doesn't work on my ds currently because he doesn't buy food from canteen. He prefers to bring food from home. so he gets to save all his daily allowance.

For him to save up to buy one replacement bottle takes 15 weekdays. Previously he lost a bottle every.single.day. After watching his savings depleting to almost nothing, he felt the pinch and started being more responsible.
He is quite easy going as he doesn't really feel upset even if his savings is depleting. He is ok to bear the consequence :mad:

I dunno how u can solve for smaller items like pencils. I label all with his name. If lost small items, I don’t replace. He needs to go to school bookshop to buy his own replacement, if no one willing to lend him.
I label his stuffs too. lost items if i dun replace he can borrow it from his classmates. Sometimes i see 'foreign thing' in his pencil case and ask him about it, he told me his friend give it to him cause he doesn't have one (like the eraser he lost previously) :slapshead: :slapshead: :slapshead: This give me another headache also as I actually disallow him to take things from classmate. I have not encouraged him to get things from bookshop but told him he can talk to me before he buys something from bookshop. So far he has not done so..

[zac's mum]

If the cost does not deter him, maybe the “hassle”/burden of going to buy the replacement should fall on his shoulders.


So eg make him take time out of his precious play time, to go to the shopping mall (pick a crowded weekend!!) , Q up verrrrry patiently and pay for the replacement bottle. Same with any eraser. Every missing eraser, make one separate trip. And spend that time Q-ing up just to buy that one eraser. Maybe, that will bore him to tears from the hassle? Cos currently u go and run the errand for him I’m pretty sure…

[sharonkhoo]

Will he get scolded by teachers if he doesn’t have stationery? Then let him do without and let him get scolded. In fact, you can prime the teachers that you are going to do this, and let them scold him for you. That often works when they ignore parents.


While I like to "make the punishment fit the crime", it seems that these measures don’t work well on your son. So you may need to use some other deterrent. Which chore does he hate most? Or what activity does he love most? Use those to motivate him - extra chores for every item lost, or reduction in time for the loved activity for every item lost. Or you can say that he is "paying" you for replacing the items - in chores, or in reduction of activity time.

[jedamum]

Can it really be trained or is it a character/attention to detail trait thingy?


My now 17 year old son never needed us to remind him of taking care of his belongings since very very young. I have a 4year old niece who is also like that. I was like that as young as 3 years old and I can even remember as far back then, probably means I was very aware of my surroundings. My husband has very vague recollection of his primary school days and prior.

My now 13 year old son just lost his snack box last week. He is lucky to find it today in the lost and found corner despite we didn't label it. He had misplaced numerous stuff over his primary school days, majority able to recover due to proper labelling. My major concern is forgetting his stuff on public transport or public spaces, hence I repeatedly reminded him never to carry loose files/bags in his hands. The few times he did, he forgot to take it along but noticed it in time a short while later. I had to repeatedly remind him never to leave stuff under his desk too. The few times he 'lost' his textbooks or calculator, he left it under his desk absentmindedly.

How ah. Label everything lor. Now sec 1 I still label his water bottle.... At least put his class info. Few months back on a Friday, on his way to the school back gate, he found a set of school worksheets belonging to a sec 4 boy on the floor. He then left it in the lost and found box. The following week Monday, he went to check and saw it still there and deliver to the boy's classroom and left it on the Teacher's desk. He himself lost his storybook in school once in Pri 6,but we didn't label his class, only his name. Someone managed to trace to his class and left it in his form Teacher pigeon hole few weeks later.

[hethet]

Thanks all the gurus for the input! :lovesite:


In fact I have had the same q as jedamum i.e can it really be trained or is it a character/attention to detail trait thingy? for my case i think 80% is contributed by his character but i am still hoping to do something for the 20%. :skeptical:

[MrsKiasu]

Imo can be trained to a desired level…