How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?

[MyPillow]

Hercules, can share which insur brand u trust more on legacy n annuity beside Manulife u shared earlier , then we can do drill into do research according to our retirement needs? Thanks

I see that u are taking the needs of a big family … wow …internal fin planner & retirement consultant le

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh\" post_id=\"1938169\" time=\"1569639505\" user_id=\"94399:

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"1938136\" time=\"1569632322\" user_id=\"28674:

The \"fairness\" issue is tricky, and depends on how your family defines fairness, and the aspirations of the 4 kids. ...

This topic headache ah. Should parents treat each child fairly? ...
How to be fair??? What is fair?

Every family has to decide how to define it for themselves. The simplest way is to determine it by dollar terms - $x per child. But as MKS points out, every child has different needs, and they will also have different desires, so $ terms may not be a good way of measuring fairness. The child who wants to be a sailor may need lots more money to achieve Olympic gold than a child who aspires to be a Olympic gold sprinter. My family prefers to go by needs as well, but it's isn't always the one with the most needs who gets the most in $ terms either. The main thing is that the whole family, including the kids, has to agree on a definition, and be willing to consider others' needs alongside their own, or there will be unhappiness and envy.

Currently, my more able child is spending lots of $ overseas, while my less child is spending less $ in Singapore, but having a lot more of my attention and non-monetary support. Is that a fair deal? In future, the more able one will probably earn a lot more than her sister, who will probably need more monetary as well other support from us. Is it useful to measure the $ amounts and time and effort we give each one, and try to give each one the same? We have been frank with them about this (not when they were very young, but when they reached their late teens). Luckily, we all, kids included, think that unequal distribution in $ terms is not necessarily \"unfair\".

As parents, I guess the best we can do to be \"fair\" is to tell the children that we will do our best to help each one to go as far as he can to achieve his dreams, as long as another child doesn't lose out on the same level of opportunity, even if one child's dreams may cost a lot more than another's. It might mean that everyone has to cut back some, or find other sources of funding/support, but no-one should feel that the others have been favoured above him.

[lee_yl]

tyeogh\" post_id=\"1938114\" time=\"1569598210\" user_id=\"94399:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1938082\" time=\"1569590938\" user_id=\"17023:

For those with 2 or more children, if I can cough out the money to send 1 child overseas, then I must be fair to the other child, so need to prepare to cough out the same amount to support the sibling(s).
Else, all stay put in local Uni !

4 children kind how? Any advice???

I always feel that my mum favors my brother the most but she never admits. She said she treated all her children equally. Thus, I think we must be very very careful when dealing with fairness. Just like you think your DD1 is the brightest thus only requires 2 tuition but in her perspective, she feels that you are being unfair. So fairness is perceived differently.

There’s a saying, “When you have 3 children, always buy 3 lollipops and the 3 lollipops must be of the same favors.”

Recently, a friend with 3 kids took up a loan to send her eldest to Edinburgh. She told the eldest she must return to SG and take over the responsibilities to send her younger siblings to Uni cos my friend has no more money. Her 2nd child is already making noises and dead worried that the jie jie won’t return. I feel that this is not the best arrangement...

My own suggestion, not sure if it’s good idea though, if you intend to allocate up to $200K to DC1 then be prepared to allocate $200K each for DC2, DC3, DC4 and so forth. If 2 out of 4 doesn’t require the money, then the two can use that $200K to offset their housing loans when they get married etc. Something like, want to give, give all, else all don’t give.

[Coolkidsrock2]

The difference in ability between my kids is quite distinct. They are aware of it as well. Have been instilling in them that they must take care of and help each other. We will try to be as fair as possible but it is not necessarily possible every time. Even when I buy 2 units with the same layout in the same project, they will be on different floor. And if they are on the same floor, will be of different stack.


It is the same for their school organised overseas trips and internship programs. Different countries, different costs and different allowances.

Believe that so long as they grow up sensibly, they will not squabble over the difference between what each is/is not given. As I have told kids, everybody is different and will walk their own path. They should chart their own path, not focus on what we give them.

[hercules]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"1938305\" time=\"1569674014\" user_id=\"48901:

Believe that so long as they grow up sensibly, they will not squabble over the difference between what each is/is not given. As I have told kids, everybody is different and will walk their own path. They should chart their own path, not focus on what we give them.

I have never put this fair and unfair in my mind when I bringing up my two kids (2 years apart from each other). Both have 孔融让梨 spirit. Probably they have been conditioned to accept 'unfairness' as a way of life when I helped to take care of nephews and nieces younger than them when they were young (eg if there were only two drumsticks, they would be given to the oldest and the youngest ones sitting at the table and up to these two whether they wanted to give such away, meaning my nieces and nephews received 'better treatments' than them and probably they were 'immuned' from 'abuse').

Other than basic necessities, they thought of ways to make more money if they wanted to buy extras (holidays work since 16 yo).

When my girl was ready for overseas ed, I asked them I only had enough to send one of them and so how ah?

Son said, Jie should go coz she sure could do very well (my son didn't really like to 'study hard').

Girl said, Didi, after I graduate, I would support you if you want to go for overseas study as you are four years (NS) after me and so should have enough time.

I thot family members should work like this.

[lee_yl]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"1938305\" time=\"1569674014\" user_id=\"48901:

The difference in ability between my kids is quite distinct. They are aware of it as well. Have been instilling in them that they must take care of and help each other. We will try to be as fair as possible but it is not necessarily possible every time. Even when I buy 2 units with the same layout in the same project, they will be on different floor. And if they are on the same floor, will be of different stack.

It is the same for their school organised overseas trips and internship programs. Different countries, different costs and different allowances.

Believe that so long as they grow up sensibly, they will not squabble over the difference between what each is/is not given. As I have told kids, everybody is different and will walk their own path. They should chart their own path, not focus on what we give them.

My mum said I must pay for my own Uni fees. When I learnt driving, she said that was luxurious and I had to pay for the fees myself. But she paid everything for my bro, because we all know he is the least capable one among the 3 siblings.

Sometimes I wonder, is it because he is less capable so must help him more or the more she helps him the more dependable he becomes.

I once told a friend DH and I intend to will our biggest property unit to DD1 and the smallest one to DD2 cos DD2 will likely do better in life. My Friend said I 大小眼! DD2 kena penalised for being the brighter one. So until today, DH and I keep putting on hold our final will.

[Cloud Cloud]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1938103\" time=\"1569594839\" user_id=\"17023:

Cloud Cloud\" post_id=\"1937623\" time=\"1569547595\" user_id=\"160688:[quote=\"Cloud Cloud\" post_id=1937623 time=1569547595 user_id=160688]Property is illiquid. Especially during downturn. Took me almost 9 months to sell one property.

Cpf only start payout from age 65. Ideal to have annuity fund which start payout from age 50 or 55.

No money for annuity plan now. All thrown into property.

If one needs some cash for an emergency, can consider to remortgage the property to take out some cash while still selling the house in parallel (never mind if it takes 9 months to find a buyer).

Sudden termination of annuity plan to cash out the money, if I’m not wrong, will incur administrative charges and penalties. CPF Life does not allow for termination to cash out money, isn’t it also considered “illiquid”?

CPF Life is the only annuity plan backed by the our Govt. Am I right to say that no private annuity plan’s returns can beat CPF Life’s?

My money is also in property too. If I have extra cash, I will go for CPF Life Enhanced Retirement Sum.

I do not think I need another annuity plan to kick start when I’m 50yo as DH has no intention to retire that early.[/quote]

Part of my retirement plans is to rely on CPF payout. At one point, was considering CPF Life ERS. But what if the payout age is extended beyond 65 say 70? Hence, may be good to diversify more.

[Coolkidsrock2]

I also cannot finalise will because on one hand, I believe she will be more able to make it, I will also like to ensure that she is financially secure enough to be a SAHM or walk away from a bad marriage, if she gets married. This is why I still follow the old school thinking of making her learn piano plus other musical instruments. Her safety net.


I worry a lot for DS if he can support a family. Not everyone can be a city boy and not everyone is suitable to be one. He is one of such. I hope he will be able to meet a good village girl who can support and help him grow. What we hope to leave as his share should be sufficient if his other half is a village girl. It will be very hard if he falls for a city girl.

Have come across such cases and wonder if it is really worth it.

[lee_yl]

Cloud Cloud\" post_id=\"1938318\" time=\"1569677290\" user_id=\"160688:[quote=\"Cloud Cloud\" post_id=1938318 time=1569677290 user_id=160688]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1938103\" time=\"1569594839\" user_id=\"17023:

[quote=\"Cloud Cloud\" post_id=1937623 time=1569547595 user_id=160688]Property is illiquid. Especially during downturn. Took me almost 9 months to sell one property.

Cpf only start payout from age 65. Ideal to have annuity fund which start payout from age 50 or 55.

No money for annuity plan now. All thrown into property.

If one needs some cash for an emergency, can consider to remortgage the property to take out some cash while still selling the house in parallel (never mind if it takes 9 months to find a buyer).

Sudden termination of annuity plan to cash out the money, if I’m not wrong, will incur administrative charges and penalties. CPF Life does not allow for termination to cash out money, isn’t it also considered “illiquid”?

CPF Life is the only annuity plan backed by the our Govt. Am I right to say that no private annuity plan’s returns can beat CPF Life’s?

My money is also in property too. If I have extra cash, I will go for CPF Life Enhanced Retirement Sum.

I do not think I need another annuity plan to kick start when I’m 50yo as DH has no intention to retire that early.[/quote]

Part of my retirement plans is to rely on CPF payout. At one point, was considering CPF Life ERS. But what if the payout age is extended beyond 65 say 70? Hence, may be good to diversify more.[/quote]What to do? When it comes to CPF, with the possibility of a delayed payout age always there, I also scared.

[lee_yl]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"1938320\" time=\"1569678987\" user_id=\"48901:

I also cannot finalise will because on one hand, I believe she will be more able to make it, I will also like to ensure that she is financially secure enough to be a SAHM or walk away from a bad marriage, if she gets married. This is why I still follow the old school thinking of making her learn piano plus other musical instruments. Her safety net.

I worry a lot for DS if he can support a family. Not everyone can be a city boy and not everyone is suitable to be one. He is one of such. I hope he will be able to meet a good village girl who can support and help him grow. What we hope to leave as his share should be sufficient if his other half is a village girl. It will be very hard if he falls for a city girl.

Have come across such cases and wonder if it is really worth it.

My biggest fear is also my daughters cannot get over due to a bad marriage. My Friend said if her hubby ever goes into bankruptcy, boys can sleep at void deck but girls can't. So I hope to keep a 1bedder, can collect rental, can also be used by the DDs \"in case of emergency\". Lol.

As for boys, sometimes they just mature a little later. When the time comes, they can do it. My brother is earning a decent living, should be able to afford a 4room flat. One thing I don't like, he asked my parents to sponsor the downpayment for his Audi (not TV!).