All About Overseas Education

[lee_yl]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957873\" time=\"1578409878\" user_id=\"43981:

FantasyLandDreams\" post_id=\"1957868\" time=\"1578408478\" user_id=\"105816:

Esteema’s sharing brought back some memories of my hostel life in local Uni. A few months after staying into hostel, while chatting with a friend who stays on the same floor, I was rather astonished to know that
同居关系was ‘pretty common’ ( I won’t use the word ‘very common’ though) and that I should not be shocked if a guy opened the door of rooms A, B, C etc after midnight or on weekends. Only then I began to understand my mum’s constant reminder and nagging of 不要乱来 is real as I consider her as over-worrying at first. I wonder how is the situation now in NTU and NUS hostels?

so 乱 :sad:

You all... so conservative ah?

[starlight1968sg]

Heh what is 乱乱来?

Am still underage

[Estéema]

starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"1957880\" time=\"1578411033\" user_id=\"14025:

Heh what is 乱乱来?
Am still underage

:rotflmao:

[starlight1968sg]

Slmkhoo and FLD

I hv no strong objection on dd going for an exchange. It will be her decision.

[MrsKiasu]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1957877\" time=\"1578410845\" user_id=\"17023:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957873\" time=\"1578409878\" user_id=\"43981:

[quote=FantasyLandDreams post_id=1957868 time=1578408478 user_id=105816]Esteema’s sharing brought back some memories of my hostel life in local Uni. A few months after staying into hostel, while chatting with a friend who stays on the same floor, I was rather astonished to know that
同居关系was ‘pretty common’ ( I won’t use the word ‘very common’ though) and that I should not be shocked if a guy opened the door of rooms A, B, C etc after midnight or on weekends. Only then I began to understand my mum’s constant reminder and nagging of 不要乱来 is real as I consider her as over-worrying at first. I wonder how is the situation now in NTU and NUS hostels?

so 乱 :sad:

You all... so conservative ah? [/quote] :rotflmao: I have caused headache to my mom then ..but still, our kids are like, always a kid lor..haiz.

[Estéema]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957871\" time=\"1578409680\" user_id=\"43981:

so happening :nailbite:

Ya la. Think with the openness our you g ppl hv been exposed to, even they’re not overseas, I’m sure many girls are tempted to experience illicit relationships even in any quiet corners of Spore & were non the wiser.

Exposure helps us to be streetwise and not overly sheltered & not know how to handle themselves. What is more impt is to find ways to send regular childhood food or sth tt draws their sensitivities to parents love & care & be open to their faltering when they do make mistakes.

The other thing I didn’t share earlier was the common doping there. So, young girls hv to be aware not to drink anything offered & they did not make themselves or once they leave their drinks (for washroom or step elsewhere) do not pick up the unattended drinks. Even within the hostel compound, beware of naughty chaos dropping stuff into their drinks.

At nightclubs (Aussie terminology for discotheque or nightspots), guys will try to chat girls up & one might engage you whilst ano slip sth into yr drink.

These exposure make us all very on-the-toes!

The impt thing is to build our kids with good discernment for right/wrong & strong self-esteem knowing their parents care for & love them lots & are forgiving if they falter.

[MrsKiasu]

how to minimize these kind of 'exposure'? These usually are rich kids? UK and Aust got any difference or not? OR only those more 'elite' Us are safer lei..woah this one back to results again :faint:

[sharonkhoo]

It may have been shocking to us in the 80s, but I don’t think the behaviour of young people in Singapore is all that different now, just maybe hidden from our old eyes (just as they were in the 80s in the UK). Young people will always know what is going on among their contemporaries. And it’s nothing to do with rich/poor or elite/ordinary - it crosses all classes.


I don’t think we can protect our young people from knowing that these things happen among their contemporaries, once they are in the mid-teens and onwards (earlier than that, I still feel it’s good to protect their innocence). It’s better to talk to them openly about what is happening and our reasons for saying that it is undesirable. By that age, if you haven’t managed to influence their morals and values, you may have missed the boat anyway.

And of course, it’s good to warn them of dangers, and give suggestions about how to protect themselves. By the mid-teens, it’s no longer possible (or desirable) just to tell them what to do or not do - they have to be told of the possible dangers and ways to avoid them, and allowed to make the decision for themselves. If you forbid, they can still go behind your back. This is the test of how much you have managed to influence them in their earlier years.

My daughter went overseas 1.5 years ago at 19yo, just as I did 35 yrs earlier. Do I worry? Of course, just as my mother did in my time. But my mother had faith in my good sense and values, just as I have in my daughter’s. If you don’t trust your child in these matters, it’s better not to let them go overseas, even if it means forgoing a "better" education. Once they have their own money and can ignore you, then it’s up to them to decide. But a parent would be irresponsible (in my opinion, anyway) to allow a child to go away, knowing that the child is likely to get into behaviour you disapprove of, either willingly because he/she doesn’t share your values, or because he/she is too innocent and gullible.

[floppy]

FantasyLandDreams\" post_id=\"1957868\" time=\"1578408478\" user_id=\"105816:

Esteema’s sharing brought back some memories of my hostel life in local Uni. A few months after staying into hostel, while chatting with a friend who stays on the same floor, I was rather astonished to know that
同居关系was ‘pretty common’ ( I won’t use the word ‘very common’ though) and that I should not be shocked if a guy opened the door of rooms A, B, C etc after midnight or on weekends. Only then I began to understand my mum’s constant reminder and nagging of 不要乱来 is real as I consider her as over-worrying at first. I wonder how is the situation now in NTU and NUS hostels?

I think best not to ask this kind of questions or provide too much details lah. Might frighten a lot of parents unduly I think we can safely assume that young adults today are definitely less conservative compared to their parents at the same age. I think it’s more important that they are equipped with the skill sets and mentality to handle the world that they are going to inhibit.

P/S: I’ve stayed in a hostel for 4+ years, despite graduating / completing my course in 3. Therefore, I can relate to what you are saying

[MyPillow]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957885\" time=\"1578411760\" user_id=\"43981:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1957877\" time=\"1578410845\" user_id=\"17023:

[quote=MrsKiasu post_id=1957873 time=1578409878 user_id=43981]

so 乱 :sad:

You all... so conservative ah?

:rotflmao: I have caused headache to my mom then ..but still, our kids are like, always a kid lor..haiz.[/quote]Mrs ks so \"open \" in our time leow -causing headache to your mama ?
Ah yo -- yes it is normal n common of course in overseas la - since our time, our frens happening stories n i saw it when i visited fren in aust uni - i was 21yo then abt 20yrs ago
local uni in my time i think still not so \"Loud\" n obvious . Now in local uni -should be also :evil:
if since Estee time alreadt like that then i a bit :yikes: ( assume estee went aust in her 20s ?)

my colleague dd told her the nus undergrads wwent US for a Semester also a bit \"wild\" some took legal drugs for play :slapshead: