All About Overseas Education

[MrsKiasu]

how to minimize these kind of 'exposure'? These usually are rich kids? UK and Aust got any difference or not? OR only those more 'elite' Us are safer lei..woah this one back to results again :faint:

[sharonkhoo]

It may have been shocking to us in the 80s, but I don’t think the behaviour of young people in Singapore is all that different now, just maybe hidden from our old eyes (just as they were in the 80s in the UK). Young people will always know what is going on among their contemporaries. And it’s nothing to do with rich/poor or elite/ordinary - it crosses all classes.


I don’t think we can protect our young people from knowing that these things happen among their contemporaries, once they are in the mid-teens and onwards (earlier than that, I still feel it’s good to protect their innocence). It’s better to talk to them openly about what is happening and our reasons for saying that it is undesirable. By that age, if you haven’t managed to influence their morals and values, you may have missed the boat anyway.

And of course, it’s good to warn them of dangers, and give suggestions about how to protect themselves. By the mid-teens, it’s no longer possible (or desirable) just to tell them what to do or not do - they have to be told of the possible dangers and ways to avoid them, and allowed to make the decision for themselves. If you forbid, they can still go behind your back. This is the test of how much you have managed to influence them in their earlier years.

My daughter went overseas 1.5 years ago at 19yo, just as I did 35 yrs earlier. Do I worry? Of course, just as my mother did in my time. But my mother had faith in my good sense and values, just as I have in my daughter’s. If you don’t trust your child in these matters, it’s better not to let them go overseas, even if it means forgoing a "better" education. Once they have their own money and can ignore you, then it’s up to them to decide. But a parent would be irresponsible (in my opinion, anyway) to allow a child to go away, knowing that the child is likely to get into behaviour you disapprove of, either willingly because he/she doesn’t share your values, or because he/she is too innocent and gullible.

[floppy]

FantasyLandDreams\" post_id=\"1957868\" time=\"1578408478\" user_id=\"105816:

Esteema’s sharing brought back some memories of my hostel life in local Uni. A few months after staying into hostel, while chatting with a friend who stays on the same floor, I was rather astonished to know that
同居关系was ‘pretty common’ ( I won’t use the word ‘very common’ though) and that I should not be shocked if a guy opened the door of rooms A, B, C etc after midnight or on weekends. Only then I began to understand my mum’s constant reminder and nagging of 不要乱来 is real as I consider her as over-worrying at first. I wonder how is the situation now in NTU and NUS hostels?

I think best not to ask this kind of questions or provide too much details lah. Might frighten a lot of parents unduly I think we can safely assume that young adults today are definitely less conservative compared to their parents at the same age. I think it’s more important that they are equipped with the skill sets and mentality to handle the world that they are going to inhibit.

P/S: I’ve stayed in a hostel for 4+ years, despite graduating / completing my course in 3. Therefore, I can relate to what you are saying

[MyPillow]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957885\" time=\"1578411760\" user_id=\"43981:

lee_yl\" post_id=\"1957877\" time=\"1578410845\" user_id=\"17023:

[quote=MrsKiasu post_id=1957873 time=1578409878 user_id=43981]

so 乱 :sad:

You all... so conservative ah?

:rotflmao: I have caused headache to my mom then ..but still, our kids are like, always a kid lor..haiz.[/quote]Mrs ks so \"open \" in our time leow -causing headache to your mama ?
Ah yo -- yes it is normal n common of course in overseas la - since our time, our frens happening stories n i saw it when i visited fren in aust uni - i was 21yo then abt 20yrs ago
local uni in my time i think still not so \"Loud\" n obvious . Now in local uni -should be also :evil:
if since Estee time alreadt like that then i a bit :yikes: ( assume estee went aust in her 20s ?)

my colleague dd told her the nus undergrads wwent US for a Semester also a bit \"wild\" some took legal drugs for play :slapshead:

[floppy]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1957918\" time=\"1578447643\" user_id=\"70594:

Mrs ks so \"open \" in our time leow -causing headache to your mama ?
Ah yo -- yes it is normal n common of course in overseas la - since our time, our frens happening stories n i saw it when i visited fren in aust uni - i was 21yo then abt 20yrs ago
local uni in my time i think still not so \"Loud\" n obvious . Now in local uni -should be also :evil:
if since Estee time alreadt like that then i a bit :yikes: ( assume estee went aust in her 20s ?)

my colleague dd told her the nus undergrads wwent US for a Semester also a bit \"wild\" some took legal drugs for play :slapshead:

I believe the main difference then and now is social media / and phones with camera / video function. What may not have been obvious in the past (or pretend don’t see / don’t know) , are now broadcast to the world easily due to “sharing” or even “leaks”. Those who had seen the NUS Guild House on Thursday night over 20 years ago will know that NUS was never a sterile environment (yes, there used to be a pub / disco opened to undergraduates, with drinks available and very little policing, on campus - good old days :rotflmao: ).

The mantra of a lot of young people today is YOLO. Part of that thinking is, if they can’t be stupid and wild when they are young, they probably aren’t going to get a chance to do it in future. I can understand that It may not be the same values that some parents share, but we all live in different times.

[Estéema]

Yes. It’s one thing to be tight with Pri sch going kids & ano with teens & if we’re too tight with them in teens, once they’re free fr our clutches, they go ‘wild’ w/o realizing the lions den is waiting.


It’s good to keep a healthy relationship with our kids & progressively sensitized them to things that’re “happening to others” then to keep mum or sweep under carpet & hope they’re not wise to those stuff.

I often chat abt newsfeed during family time (dinnertime, in the car, with grandparents, cousins, etc) like the baby dumped in rubbish chute. We all share our theories of “who did it” - the lady butler, the teenage daughter, or the maid… Then, we explore why they did it & who did it to them or how to avoid these things. We chip in to debunk their innocent conclusion & offered how these things can happen out of loneliness or neglect of someone’s emotional needs and how one mistake leads to ano.

S’times as parents, when we offer an alternative to recovering fr their mistakes or redeeming themselves in a non direct judgements way, it helps them to wise up not to delve into erroneous turf & there’s always proper ways to redeem the situation. If we’re often directly judgemental w/o giving others possible leeway, then our kids will always be hiding those things we’ve always been viewing as “impermissible” & we’ll never be wiser (like my frd’s dying her colors & flip back within 2 mths or those girls who smuggled bfrds into dorms but returned SG acting like goody 2 shoes.)

[sharonkhoo]

floppy\" post_id=\"1957920\" time=\"1578448670\" user_id=\"97579:

The mantra of a lot of young people today is YOLO. Part of that thinking is, if they can’t be stupid and wild when they are young, they probably aren’t going to get a chance to do it in future. I can understand that It may not be the same values that some parents share, but we all live in different times.

I actually totally agree with YOLO, but with a different \"take\". I have convinced (I hope/think!) my kids that when you only live once, it's important that you live it well, rather than waste opportunities and make mistakes that have major, long-term repercussions. Small mistakes are learning experiences, and not to be shunned totally. And yes, there are things that are better done when you are young, like take risks, be adventurous in trying new things, etc, but there are good ways of doing that, or bad ways. The underlying philosophy is whether you live to enjoy yourself (and worry about consequences later) or live to do something worthwhile (and not wait till you retire to start doing something \"meaningful\"). And \"worthwhile\" doesn't mean \"no fun\"!

[ngl2010]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"1957977\" time=\"1578461279\" user_id=\"28674:

floppy\" post_id=\"1957920\" time=\"1578448670\" user_id=\"97579:

The mantra of a lot of young people today is YOLO. Part of that thinking is, if they can’t be stupid and wild when they are young, they probably aren’t going to get a chance to do it in future. I can understand that It may not be the same values that some parents share, but we all live in different times.

I actually totally agree with YOLO, but with a different \"take\". I have convinced (I hope/think!) my kids that when you only live once, it's important that you live it well, rather than waste opportunities and make mistakes that have major, long-term repercussions. Small mistakes are learning experiences, and not to be shunned totally. And yes, there are things that are better done when you are young, like take risks, be adventurous in trying new things, etc, but there are good ways of doing that, or bad ways. The underlying philosophy is whether you live to enjoy yourself (and worry about consequences later) or live to do something worthwhile (and not wait till you retire to start doing something \"meaningful\"). And \"worthwhile\" doesn't mean \"no fun\"!

I told DS that there is also YODO (You Only Die Once) so he must think hard if he wants to do something dangerous.

[MrsKiasu]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"1957918\" time=\"1578447643\" user_id=\"70594:

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"1957885\" time=\"1578411760\" user_id=\"43981:

[quote=lee_yl post_id=1957877 time=1578410845 user_id=17023]

You all... so conservative ah?

:rotflmao: I have caused headache to my mom then ..but still, our kids are like, always a kid lor..haiz.

Mrs ks so \"open \" in our time leow -causing headache to your mama ?
Ah yo -- yes it is normal n common of course in overseas la - since our time, our frens happening stories n i saw it when i visited fren in aust uni - i was 21yo then abt 20yrs ago
local uni in my time i think still not so \"Loud\" n obvious . Now in local uni -should be also :evil:
if since Estee time alreadt like that then i a bit :yikes: ( assume estee went aust in her 20s ?)

my colleague dd told her the nus undergrads wwent US for a Semester also a bit \"wild\" some took legal drugs for play :slapshead:[/quote]just early paktor la

[SeongheeKim]

How We Got In! Our Journeys to Top US & UK Universities

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/how-we-got-in-our-journeys-to-top-us-uk-universities-sg-registration-94371462585