All About Bullying
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When I was in upper primary, there used to be a group of us girls who always hung out together during recess. Then dunno why suddenly one day got one particular girl J, came and gave me a card, on it she told me that she asked all of the others & they said they don’t want me to join them anymore. Because A said this bad thing about me, B said another bad thing about me, C said another…
I thought it was true & so I stopped spending time with them. After a long time, A came to me and asked am I ok, why I didn’t join them anymore. I told her the story and she said “Oh! That J ah, went and told each of us separately, some made-up badmouthing comments that the others said. Dunno what’s wrong with her?! Who made her the boss anyway?!”
Later on this J followed us to the secondary school also, I kept far far away from such toxic people cos dunno when they can backstab you again. Now she’s a big shot lawyer, using her manipulation skills well in her career I see. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"1960437\" time=\"1579750805\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1960437 time=1579750805 user_id=53606]
“Dead fish also bite till alive” type of toxicity? :rotflmao:
When I was in upper primary, there used to be a group of us girls who always hung out together during recess. Then dunno why suddenly one day got one particular girl J, came and gave me a card, on it she told me that she asked all of the others & they said they don’t want me to join them anymore. Because A said this bad thing about me, B said another bad thing about me, C said another...
I thought it was true & so I stopped spending time with them. After a long time, A came to me and asked am I ok, why I didn’t join them anymore. I told her the story and she said “Oh! That J ah, went and told each of us separately, some made-up badmouthing comments that the others said. Dunno what’s wrong with her?! Who made her the boss anyway?!”
Later on this J followed us to the secondary school also, I kept far far away from such toxic people cos dunno when they can backstab you again. Now she’s a big shot lawyer, using her manipulation skills well in her career I see.[/quote] -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"1960437\" time=\"1579750805\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1960437 time=1579750805 user_id=53606]
That is really awful! Hope you weren't scarred.
When I was in upper primary, there used to be a group of us girls who always hung out together during recess. Then dunno why suddenly one day got one particular girl J, came and gave me a card, on it she told me that she asked all of the others & they said they don’t want me to join them anymore. Because A said this bad thing about me, B said another bad thing about me, C said another...
I thought it was true & so I stopped spending time with them. After a long time, A came to me and asked am I ok, why I didn’t join them anymore. I told her the story and she said “Oh! That J ah, went and told each of us separately, some made-up badmouthing comments that the others said. Dunno what’s wrong with her?! Who made her the boss anyway?!”
Later on this J followed us to the secondary school also, I kept far far away from such toxic people cos dunno when they can backstab you again. Now she’s a big shot lawyer, using her manipulation skills well in her career I see.[/quote] -
doodbug\" post_id=\"1960443\" time=\"1579753667\" user_id=\"13281:
She’s made stronger for that. Know the failure in human character bldg. It’s good that the other frd verified with her for the absence. She’s now such a blessing to KSP community! Hope her DS is well blessed with good frdships in sch. The best is yet to be!
That is really awful! Hope you weren't scarred.[/quote]zac's mum\" post_id=\"1960437\" time=\"1579750805\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1960437 time=1579750805 user_id=53606]When I was in upper primary, there used to be a group of us girls who always hung out together during recess. Then dunno why suddenly one day got one particular girl J, came and gave me a card, on it she told me that she asked all of the others & they said they don’t want me to join them anymore. Because A said this bad thing about me, B said another bad thing about me, C said another...
I thought it was true & so I stopped spending time with them. After a long time, A came to me and asked am I ok, why I didn’t join them anymore. I told her the story and she said “Oh! That J ah, went and told each of us separately, some made-up badmouthing comments that the others said. Dunno what’s wrong with her?! Who made her the boss anyway?!”
Later on this J followed us to the secondary school also, I kept far far away from such toxic people cos dunno when they can backstab you again. Now she’s a big shot lawyer, using her manipulation skills well in her career I see. -
People whose love language is “words of affirmation”, they are more susceptible to feeling down when hearing nasty & mean comments from others, especially if coming from trusted friends and loved ones.
Somebody taught me that it’s hard to just “ignore” what they said, because the words just keep repeating & repeating in your thoughts, at vulnerable times or before sleep.
The better way is to fill your head with positive words instead. Recall the loving words that others have said about you. Keep encouraging cards that others have written to you, listen to cheery/upbeat/spiritual songs to fill up your mood tank. These will cancel and drown out the naysaying thoughts over time. -
Nebbermind\" post_id=\"1960421\" time=\"1579742028\" user_id=\"15571:
scary isn't it?
Years ago, my girl told me how a group of them was confronted by a mommy for not talking/playing with the daughter. Makes me wonder dunno who bully who.
schools today can be a toxic environment. if we work in such an environment, we can quit. but unfortunately our kids cannot do so. I really pity my daughter.
getting her to wake up every morning to go to school is very tough. last year, she was very buddy with a girl...suddenly after the year end holidays, she became a different person altogether and even passing sarcastic remarks to my daughter. complete change!
every day, myself/hubby/son will tell her it's ok to be alone instead of hanging out with a girl who is so mean. I know my girl...she is not the troublemaker kind nor materialistic. when this ex-buddy became so mean, my daughter's mood plunged. that girl even brainwashed the others to say mean things like 'so stupid' or 'what's so big deal about dental appointment to have to leave school early?'
it breaks my heart to see her sob. -
Toxic people are everywhere. Sometimes I wonder if girls are by nature more bitchy.
I remember one mummy friend told me that in her DD’s class, a few girls ganged up to unfriend this girl. It was during psle and this girl was so affected that she did badly for her PSLE. So I was advised to watch out for such things.
Another horrifying thing I heard over radio was, a parent was called up by school counselor regarding a bullying case in school. The parent was very upset and shocked, her daughter was not the victim (the usual case) but the bully!! So the counselor said, often we think our kids could be one of the victims and overlooked the possibility that our kids could be the bully. We need to let our kids know, ganging up against someone is not right. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"1960473\" time=\"1579759418\" user_id=\"17023:
Sometimes it's difficult to tell who is telling the truth. Even teachers can be bias in judging the kids and give the benefit of doubt to the kids she favours more. Personally had such an encounter. The 'victim' finally owned up that he fabricated the story to avoid being scolded by his mom.
Toxic people are everywhere. Sometimes I wonder if girls are by nature more bitchy.
I remember one mummy friend told me that in her DD’s class, a few girls ganged up to unfriend this girl. It was during psle and this girl was so affected that she did badly for her PSLE. So I was advised to watch out for such things.
Another horrifying thing I heard over radio was, a parent was called up by school counselor regarding a bullying case in school. The parent was very upset and shocked, her daughter was not the victim (the usual case) but the bully!! So the counselor said, often we think our kids could be one of the victims and overlooked the possibility that our kids could be the bully. We need to let our kids know, ganging up against someone is not right.
Another case was a mommy went to the schoolbus driver to complain about her son being hit...only to find out from the video recording that it was her son who started the fight.
There was also the unpleasant girl in my earlier post whom no one like to tall to...and the mom went to confront the schoolmates...just look at the behavior of the mom...kid probably just her reflection.
Of course, we still have to teach our kids not to be nasty and manipulative....and also have to be strong when at the receiving end -
I always think we better not confront the bully kid as we are adults and they are still kid…
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as parents, we have to communicate regularly with our kids…listen to them and know what they face everyday.
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