All About Bullying
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Funz\" post_id=\"1962378\" time=\"1580977380\" user_id=\"6230:
:goodpost:
Contrary to some advise here, I would suggest that if the doctors prescribed anti-depressants for your daughter, let her take according to prescribed dosage. However at the same time, a lifestyle change may be required to help her cope better with the condition so that she does not become fully dependant on the anti-depressant. Find her an avenue for her to release her stress. Be it music, art, dance, exercise.
At the same time, help her to get over being so affected by how her friends behave. I know this is not easy. DD was subject to that too when over a holiday her supposed good friend suddenly ghosted her just before they were both supposed to go to Australia for their Lit trip. Then during the trip, said friend was suddenly all pally with her again and when back in Singapore, she ghosted DD again. I had to tell her that it is very obvious that this friend is a user. When she had no one in Aust, she latched onto DD and when she is back on home ground, she totally ignored and deliberately excluded DD. Told DD that such people want to be the queen bee and likes to surround themselves with people whom they feel are inferior to them to feel superior. The reason why she started excluding DD is because she feels threatened. No need to wonder what she did wrong or what she did that could have offended that friend because it is definitely not her fault. The rest of them who followed that friend's lead and started excluding her are mindless drones. Told her, it is normal that she feels hurt, and yes, get upset, cry if she must, get angry if she must, thereafter, brush them off. Don't allow them to affect her to the point that she loses confidence and self worth because she is definitely a much better person than any of them.
As for the teacher, you might want to talk to her directly. The teacher may not be made fully aware of your dd's state of mind and just ask her to give your DD some breathing space this period as it is crucial for her mental health.
As a mother, it is very painful to see your own child struggling like that. We end up walking on eggshells too as we cannot be sure if what we advise or how we react to their emotions are helping or making matters worse. How to strike a balance between being supportive and being firm with them so that they snap out of their state of self pity.
Hope your DD gets better soon.
Funz,
You said it so well & thorough.
Yes, when we’re bullied, it hurts badly coz we’ve thot that was suppose to be buddy. But we need to stand up for our sake & our own sanity & learn to be strong.
I had a bully in primary school. Worst we were in same CCA. I stood firm not to be affected by her. I continued to be nice & cordial. She was relentless in showing her black face & making monkey faces to me, which hurts, but I asked for super strength fr heaven. Lol
You know what, just before PSLE, she came to make up & asked why wasn’t I angry with her in spite & continue being nice? She said she realized I’m a very nice person. Made my day. Today, she is 名人’s wife. Happy I saw her changed before I met her & her hubby.
Can’t guarantee things will turn out same as my experience, but spare yourself fr internal anger & live life well & 潇洒过日子， otherwise 苦的是自己. But I do u’stand what Janet’s daughter is going thro. It’s teenage period & when she values friendship most.
If she can develop more friends & don’t condone to just one. She’ll feel stronger emotionally if she has plenty to do. -
hi Slmkhoo,
I had my normal chitchat with daughter last night. she told me the F&N teacher passed some remarks about ME letting my daughter going for braces this year. maybe I'm sensitive, but should an educator make such remarks about the parent in front of the child? I certainly hope this is not true but it seems she also overturned daughter's school bag to check if her mobile phone was inside. this is outright humiliating :mad:
I'm trying to calm myself down and not do anything rash...but I am really pissed about her :censored: behaviour.
the other thing is, should teachers make them stand throughout the lesson if the students can't answer the question? this is not the way to educate.
it's so embarrassing my daughter is in an all girls' school which has been around for so long. -
janet88\" post_id=\"1962441\" time=\"1581037446\" user_id=\"12950:
You might like to hv a nice Kopi chat with the P abt helping your girl fit well and reduce stress & sensitivity in class. Side comments on how a student look is uncalled for unless it lacks decency or decorum. Educators shld be patient & kind, not reactive & unkind. Act immediately dear Janet.
hi Slmkhoo,
I had my normal chitchat with daughter last night. she told me the F&N teacher passed some remarks about ME letting my daughter going for braces this year. maybe I'm sensitive, but should an educator make such remarks about the parent in front of the child? I certainly hope this is not true but it seems she also overturned daughter's school bag to check if her mobile phone was inside. this is outright humiliating :mad:
I'm trying to calm myself down and not do anything rash...but I am really pissed about her :censored: behaviour.
the other thing is, should teachers make them stand throughout the lesson if the students can't answer the question? this is not the way to educate.
it's so embarrassing my daughter is in an all girls' school which has been around for so long. -
hi esteema,
I'm at my wit's end regarding the teachers' treatment towards her.
I really hope what she told me is not true, but that would mean daughter is lying...equally bad if not worse.
just called the school counsellor. she will try to find out more and return my call next week.
to make things worse, it's not one teacher but 3 :faint: -
janet88\" post_id=\"1962447\" time=\"1581038700\" user_id=\"12950:
2 other chers? What did the others do?
hi esteema,
I'm at my wit's end regarding the teachers' treatment towards her.
I really hope what she told me is not true, but that would mean daughter is lying...equally bad if not worse.
just called the school counsellor. she will try to find out more and return my call next week.
to make things worse, it's not one teacher but 3 :faint: -
Estéema\" post_id=\"1962458\" time=\"1581040898\" user_id=\"66413:
one made her stand throughout the lesson when she can't answer questions (seriously, is this the way to educate?)
2 other chers? What did the others do?
I thought if students can't answer, the teacher would tell them to sit and explain.
the other one would make remarks like, 'is this work done with your tutor's help? or something related?'
what biz is his if the student has tutor?
I hope I'm not seen as an over-reacting parent...but in this modern time, this is not the way to teach. -
janet88\" post_id=\"1962462\" time=\"1581042252\" user_id=\"12950:
Sounds like the chers hv very little faith in students being able to be independent or they don’t show themselves to be independent. Educators need to be encouraging & positive, always lifting the confidence of kids to try on their own & strengthen their own wings. I recall the MediaCorp had an ad where the teacher started writing a “D” but she turn it into encouraging the student for positive & constructive action.
one made her stand throughout the lesson when she can't answer questions (seriously, is this the way to educate?)Estéema\" post_id=\"1962458\" time=\"1581040898\" user_id=\"66413:
2 other chers? What did the others do?
I thought if students can't answer, the teacher would tell them to sit and explain.
the other one would make remarks like, 'is this work done with your tutor's help? or something related?'
what biz is his if the student has tutor?
I hope I'm not seen as an over-reacting parent...but in this modern time, this is not the way to teach. -
janet88\" post_id=\"1962447\" time=\"1581038700\" user_id=\"12950:
If your daughter is lying, I think it is easier to resolve as you can manage from there. If 3 teachers are truly targeting her or this callous, that is something you cannot control as they are external factors so that will be a lot more difficult.
hi esteema,
I'm at my wit's end regarding the teachers' treatment towards her.
I really hope what she told me is not true, but that would mean daughter is lying...equally bad if not worse.
just called the school counsellor. she will try to find out more and return my call next week.
to make things worse, it's not one teacher but 3 :faint: -
janet88\" post_id=\"1962462\" time=\"1581042252\" user_id=\"12950:
Stand throughout the lesson is unnecessary. Did the teacher explain to her what she did not know how to answer eventually?
one made her stand throughout the lesson when she can't answer questions (seriously, is this the way to educate?)Estéema\" post_id=\"1962458\" time=\"1581040898\" user_id=\"66413:
2 other chers? What did the others do?
I thought if students can't answer, the teacher would tell them to sit and explain.
the other one would make remarks like, 'is this work done with your tutor's help? or something related?'
what biz is his if the student has tutor?
I hope I'm not seen as an over-reacting parent...but in this modern time, this is not the way to teach.
As for the 2nd teacher, depends on the tchr's tone I guess. If he is just trying to know if your DD truly understood the lesson and was able to do her work without help or she needed additional help to complete that piece of work, that would be something commendable actually. Not many teachers bother to find out, they just deliver their lessons, mark the work and that's it. -
snide remarks are definitely uncalled for. educators are supposed to be encouraging.
as for daughter's tutor, I did mention during last year's PTM that the tutor doesn't participate in school homework.
the class didn't understand what the math teacher taught, and she made a remark saying that what she taught the day before was wasted :slapshead:
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