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    LIVING IN MISERY, THINKING OF A DIVORCE

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • K Offline
      kim2410
      last edited by

      EQUINOX:
      My husband and I have a generation gap of 25 years and he is very old and I am in my late 40s. He has been in the civil service and has been teaching until he decide to retire at 55. I was shocked at his decision and he kept digging into his savings for years and until lately went bankrupt. I tried a tuition job but the earnings were not enough to maintain his livestyle. He refused to give up his car as he have to travel to the west to teach. He asked me to be his guarantor for a $5k loan and used me to guarantee for his car loan as well. We have a 17 year old JC student and I have been paying her for studies while he paid for the house maintenance.


      Now he is complaining that he has been paying paying paying without realising that I have been paying paying as well. Things took a bad turn when my girl told my husband to stop whinning and stop acting like a kid when he complained that I gave pocket money to my parents and not to him. He canceled our medical benefits and kept my girl's passport so that she cannot leave the country. He defaulted on the credit card loans and now myy funds are limited, I expect him to work for his own maintenance and now he threaten to sell the house where he thinks he can pocket 1/2 of our 5room flat and live in a studio. He was thinking of the 30K COV. I told him he should get 1/3 as I need the 2/3 for a 3 room flat. My girl will stay with me. Now he threaten to go to my office and tell on me. He had sabo me before in my old job and now he is taking me on in my current job. The commotion was so embarassing that I had to leave. Now I fear history would repeat itself and I would be without a job and my girl will have to suffer because of her daddy's stupidity. When a man aged, he is not getting cleverer. He splits the house and makes us pay extra for the laywers and brokers. He wants to punish me but it will end up my girl will suffer. What should I do to remove this pest from my life? God helps!
      Sorry im breaking the news to you but he sounds like a really mean person! If he had any love for you at all, he would change for the better no matter what! I'm sorry to say this but you should divorce!

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      • K Offline
        KathleenCarpenter
        last edited by

        Well, that's harsh. When I was married for the first time, my DH used to stay home, because he thought he was too good to work an ordinary salesman ar manager, because he went to college, has his degree (and was fired for being drunk at work). I thought I should be supportive, worked almost 24/7, and to cut a long story short, lost my temper when I found out that our savings were spent for a present to his best friend's wedding. I needed a surgery, so I basically got into debts to cover treatment expenses because of him. I couldn't even afford a lawyer so had to complete https://onlinedivorcer.com/utah-divorce-online and now I regret I hadn't that done later. The loving husband would never take advantage of his woman. Lesson learnt!

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        • E Offline
          EarthQuek
          last edited by

          \"You don’t know what you’ve got until it's gone\"


          Should always remind myself to be happy and contented with spouse and kids.
          Be Happy ,Stay Healthy
          Simple Life, Happy Life.
          :grphug: 💋 :hugs: :snuggles: :celebrate:

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          • J Offline
            Joanne25
            last edited by

            Life after divorce: what it really feels like to end a marriage

            https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/11/life-after-divorce-end-marriage

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • K Offline
              kukladolly
              last edited by

              Hello. I was in the same situation and I understand you perfectly. I want to say from personal experience that men when they become more adult then their behavior accordingly becomes different and confidence disappears. fix his behavior for the proofs. and talk necessarily with the child.

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • H Offline
                Hamblin
                last edited by

                Hello! Hope it's doing much better for you now. I can't express the anger and desperation I felt while reading your story. I believe that you are really exhausted while being married to this person. I would only recommend to run away from him ASAP and find a good divorce lawyer. If children are involved - the only way is to bring their well-being as priority and try to save their childhood or adolescence without being involved into parental quarrels.

                When my marriage was almost over, my ex decided to tell on me at my workplace, he did the same to my credit limit, now I have several issues with my loan. So I wasn't able to afford even a lawyer.As far as we lived in Tacoma, https://onlinedivorcewa.com/ cost me less than usual, but still I spent some to complete the process. If you don't have money to work with lawyer, I would strongly advice you to apply for diy divorce because the result is totally worth that. If he keeps nagging you, go to police, turn to friends or parents if you trust them, however don't give up. Your life depends upon you completely and so does the life of your daughter!

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                • L Offline
                  LeilKhor18
                  last edited by

                  It’s better to leave the and end the marriage rather than living in misery. It will not just affect you but will also affect your child.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • O Offline
                    oh Siong
                    last edited by

                    LeilKhor18\" post_id=\"1976065\" time=\"1589540761\" user_id=\"183233:

                    It's better to leave the and end the marriage rather than living in misery. It will not just affect you but will also affect your child.
                    agree
                    unless there is commitment to change from both
                    and always, i worry more for the children involved (if any), cos, they need to be attended to....
                    too many a times, my students suffer because they are forgotten during the process.. and many will assume \"they wont understand now\"..

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                    • R Offline
                      ReadingNikki
                      last edited by

                      Fighting in front of the kids will have a greater impact to them as they grow up. If relationship is a failure you don’t have to force yourselves provided that you both did everything you could to save the marriage

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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