How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?

[Liew Nga Wing]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2059574\" time=\"1645525503\" user_id=\"66413:

My mum had it reversed - she had dementia, then much later a year she had her 1st stroke then within 10 months, she had a 2nd stroke.

I feel sad to hear that.

[sushi88]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2059526\" time=\"1645508428\" user_id=\"66413:

I do Sudoku daily!

I was a victim to my mum’s dementia for some years, as the only caregiver to her but being accused of abandonment or abuse when I was a young in corporate life that I had to give up my job to care for her 24/7 for awhile fr balancing the stress workfront & homefront. One time, she went out returning home only 3 days later brot home by the men in blue! All those days I was worried sick where to find her. 😥

Sorry to hear what you have been through. I know it is tough to care for someone with dementia. The deterioration can be pretty fast and hence confusing for the care-giver as well.

[ChiefKiasu]

The stroke I had 3 years ago made me forget what I'm talking about even in my normal conversations. It is just a blank. It happens less often now, but it is still happening. I have to learn different strategies to overcome it... eg. I won't forget if I write it down. The good thing is that it only happens if I'm speaking; writing seems ok. Phew.


But if I'm arranging for a meeting... you better make sure I actually put it down in my calendar... otherwise...

[Liew Nga Wing]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059598\" time=\"1645542605\" user_id=\"3:

The stroke I had 3 years ago made me forget what I'm talking about even in my normal conversations. It is just a blank. It happens less often now, but it is still happening. I have to learn different strategies to overcome it... eg. I won't forget if I write it down. The good thing is that it only happens if I'm speaking; writing seems ok. Phew.

This also happened to my boss who is same age with me and didn't have any stroke before. He will suddenly forget what he is talking about when he is talking to my colleagues. However, he is so lucky to have me sitting beside his cubicle so that he can ask me what he has said before. I will repeat what he has said to him so that he can continue his conversation with my colleagues.

[Estéema]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2059594\" time=\"1645540400\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2059594 time=1645540400 user_id=195250]
I feel sad to hear that. [/quote]

I was crying in my heart when not many ppl u’stood what geriatric care was about & why my mum does all the odd things which we know today this dementia thing renders to life. I’m not sure if I’ll be prepared if MIL heads that way, but at least I’m more aware how to cope better now on hindsight.

sushi88\" post_id=\"2059596\" time=\"1645541432\" user_id=\"100857:

Sorry to hear what you have been through. I know it is tough to care for someone with dementia. The deterioration can be pretty fast and hence confusing for the care-giver as well.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

It was very tough back in the 80s. Our society wasn’t prepared for it back then. Imagine mum used to accused me not giving her money for food & telling everybody around neigbourhood I don’t care for her. Thankfully, some neigbours are enlightened based on her s’times repetitive monologue & when she goes out to buy food or to the wet mkt. These are ppl who match their sharp observations to her claims & some started chatting me up. Imagine the tears of being u’stood then & comforting neigbours who offered to look after her whenever she spends her time out with the neigbours. We were all baffled thereafter coz she wld accused me of collaborating with them to ‘fix’ her!

Now, when I see someone struggling with dementia elderlies, I’ll go to the very ends to help.

So, recently, managed to persuade a frd to release her current helper who physically abused her dementia mum after getting her a Mynmar helper to take over. She was initially in self-denial to release coz she had been stressed for more than 2 years as caregiver, so she fear left with no help. That’s when I discovered there’re so many Mynmar girls alr got their passports ready since last Dec. now I’ve a few at hand to help others.

My learning journey must be made worthwhile and to count in my life.

[ChiefKiasu]

@Esteema, sorry I missed your earlier posts about your mum. Must have been pretty tough for you and the family.

[sushi88]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059598\" time=\"1645542605\" user_id=\"3:

The stroke I had 3 years ago made me forget what I'm talking about even in my normal conversations. It is just a blank. It happens less often now, but it is still happening. I have to learn different strategies to overcome it... eg. I won't forget if I write it down. The good thing is that it only happens if I'm speaking; writing seems ok. Phew.

But if I'm arranging for a meeting... you better make sure I actually put it down in my calendar... otherwise...

Sorry to hear about your stroke. My late grandma had a stroke and it happened so suddenly(to us it was sudden as we had not seen any symptoms) one night when she got up to use the toilet. It seemed that it was discovered late so by the time she got to the hospital, half her body was not able to move anymore including her speech. So it was good to know that you have detected yours quickly enough as I now know F.A.S.T (Face, Arms, Speech, Time) is very important when one has a stroke.

Just wondering, did you have any signs that warned you prior to the stroke?

[Estéema]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2059611\" time=\"1645577520\" user_id=\"3:

@Esteema, sorry I missed your earlier posts about your mum. Must have been pretty tough for you and the family.

Thank you Chief! Build resilience & character, though was crying like nobody’s bz back then.

You also take care huh 🙏🏻

[sushi88]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2059604\" time=\"1645545537\" user_id=\"66413:

Now, when I see someone struggling with dementia elderlies, I’ll go to the very ends to help.

So, recently, managed to persuade a frd to release her current helper who physically abused her dementia mum after getting her a Mynmar helper to take over. She was initially in self-denial to release coz she had been stressed for more than 2 years as caregiver, so she fear left with no help. That’s when I discovered there’re so many Mynmar girls alr got their passports ready since last Dec. now I’ve a few at hand to help others.

My learning journey must be made worthwhile and to count in my life.

It's good that you are sharing your experiences with others. Recently, we also got a Myanmar helper to look after my mum. It has been very difficult communicating with her now as she could not remember who I am sometimes. So at the start of every conversation was to let her recall who I was first and walked through the family tree with her to recap.

[Estéema]

sushi88\" post_id=\"2059620\" time=\"1645582609\" user_id=\"100857:

It's good that you are sharing your experiences with others. Recently, we also got a Myanmar helper to look after my mum. It has been very difficult communicating with her now as she could not remember who I am sometimes. So at the start of every conversation was to let her recall who I was first and walked through the family tree with her to recap.

Anytime u need someone to chat or get some ideas how to handle, just ask or pm me if u need. Always hv a frd to journey together will be easier to bear.