Me Time!

[Imp75]

So far only eldest has a bf since Sec4. Not sure if i am biased but so far Ah boy ticked all the boxes and I can understand why dd chose him. She’s a chilli padi and she needs someone gentle to tolerate her hahaha………

[Funz]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2077545\" time=\"1659786245\" user_id=\"28674:

The question to ask is whether this is just while he's on his \"best behaviour\", or whether it is really part of his nature? Hard to know in the early days, I guess.

I think this boy is genuine. He is not putting on his 'best behaviour' just to get into our good books. DD knew him since Sec sch and they have been friends since she was in Sec 2. That bunch of friends have been coming over to my place since then and I got to know them. All decent kids and this boy is the easy going and more 'innocent' and 'well behaved' fella of the group. He's always the one who offers to help with stuff, and helps to clean up after. Since DD was in Sec 2 before they were dating, till now, about 5yrs already and he is consistently like that so I do not think it's an act.

[Funz]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2077589\" time=\"1659839421\" user_id=\"2358:

She’s a chilli padi and she needs someone gentle to tolerate her hahaha……..

Same same. DD is all over the place and can be impulsive. So this boy with his easy going nature can tolerate her nonsense but he is also quite down to earth and cautious so can temper some of her impulsivity.

[Funz]

I have always felt that whether the guy/girl is good for them or not, kiddos will have to figure out themselves. I will of course give my opinions about their characters but I will not be the one to say break off. They have to make the decision themselves. I will put my foot down though if the person is abusive, have serious vices like excessive drinking or gambling issues or into illegal stuff.


I have also told kiddos to observe how their partners are with their parents and siblings and to see how their parents treat each other and if there’s opportunity how their parents behave with extended family. That will give them a glimpse of what family life will be like if they end up with that person as their spouse.

[janet88]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2077502\" time=\"1659756445\" user_id=\"28674:

Not all grandmothers can or want to be babysitters! I certainly don't.

I know it’s early to say this but I really don’t wish to be a babysitter either. With my own kids, I can punish but doubt my son in law or daughter in law will like that. Furthermore, I looked after both of them since they were born…it’s scary to go through that again.

[janet88]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2077562\" time=\"1659794128\" user_id=\"3:

Most likely, he is just pleasing you :evil: Nobody would want to wash another person's car willingly.

If he does bean sprouts, that is definitely also pleasing gf’s mother bcos no guy will like to do that.

[janet88]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2077589\" time=\"1659839421\" user_id=\"2358:

So far only eldest has a bf since Sec4. Not sure if i am biased but so far Ah boy ticked all the boxes and I can understand why dd chose him. She’s a chilli padi and she needs someone gentle to tolerate her hahaha……..

Mine here is also a chili padi.
My advice (constant reminder) is to respect her body and not fall prey to ‘if you love me…’
Many boys even from donkey years ago have been sowing wild oats. So have as many male friends and enjoy the company. Chances are they may show their character as friends but not so as a bf.

[sharonkhoo]

Funz\" post_id=\"2077593\" time=\"1659840578\" user_id=\"6230:

I have always felt that whether the guy/girl is good for them or not, kiddos will have to figure out themselves. I will of course give my opinions about their characters but I will not be the one to say break off. They have to make the decision themselves. I will put my foot down though if the person is abusive, have serious vices like excessive drinking or XXXXX issues or into illegal stuff.

I have also told kiddos to observe how their partners are with their parents and siblings and to see how their parents treat each other and if there's opportunity how their parents behave with extended family. That will give them a glimpse of what family life will be like if they end up with that person as their spouse.

Agree with you. Once they are adult (18 and above; not talking about BGR at sec school age), we can only give our opinions, and they have to make the final decision. If our relationship is them is strong enough, and we have earned their respect over the years, our opinions will carry weight even if they might still disagree in the end. At least I would like to feel that they have considered our opinions seriously.

It's good that you have had several years to see the boy in different situations - in that case, you should feel fairly confident that you know his basic character and values.

[lee_yl]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2077589\" time=\"1659839421\" user_id=\"2358:

So far only eldest has a bf since Sec4. Not sure if i am biased but so far Ah boy ticked all the boxes and I can understand why dd chose him. She’s a chilli padi and she needs someone gentle to tolerate her hahaha……..

Sec 4 quite young leh. The boy from HCI?
DD2 told me many of her classmates aim to get themselves a HCI boyfriend when they move on to JC. Lol.

[Imp75]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2077611\" time=\"1659852032\" user_id=\"17023:

Sec 4 quite young leh. The boy from HCI?
DD2 told me many of her classmates aim to get themselves a HCI boyfriend when they move on to JC. Lol.

Yeah dd Told us herself during sec 4. Was surprised too but nothing else we could do ya? There was no abrupt change of character in her and acad not impacted.
Yes Ah boy from hci, ex gepper, student councillor, smart, athletic, well-mannered/shy type. Most importantly can take that chilli padi kind of temper. Anyway we told her it’s probably not going to last as they are too young. So treat it like an experience? Just do not do anything that hurt each other.