Me Time!
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My scolding mostly on dd not sleeping early. The night before I went to bed earlier and woke up at 11+pm to nag her to sleep...and nag her priority, test around the corner I would expect to see either studying or sleeping but she was cleaning packing her study table :faint:
Last night I waited till abt 1am then went to bed without waiting for her and don't know what time she went to bed :sad:
And this since P5/P6 :stupid: -
Imp75\" post_id=\"2078575\" time=\"1660614806\" user_id=\"2358:
How much scolding and what kind of scolding may depend on age? For younger kids, when they still are in the process of building up good habits and haven't \"owned\" their work or behaviour yet, then there is likely to be a need for more scolding, or at least lecturing. When they are supposed to be responsible for certain chores or should know what kind of behaviours are not acceptable, then reprimanding may be in order when they slip up, but some kind of penalty like deprivation of privileges or extra chores might work better.
I don’t know what to scold my girls too…. Do I scold them for being slack? Not really cos they own their results/schoolwork right? Do I scold them for not chipping in housework? Not really cos next time they are the ones to suffer right? Do I scold them for their room messiness? Not really cos if they invite friends home or lose anything, it’s their own responsibility or paiseyness. The only thing I would scold is when they miss the curfew to come home without informing…. -
For DD ah, cos she never takes no for and answer and can really push all the boundaries.
What I scold her for ah, lets see
If she wants something, she can really wear you down by pestering you until you raise your voice at her and tell her off.
For using up every disposable cup, bowl, plate, scotch tapes, etc to make a huge maze for her juju pet
For taking stuff out of my freezer to make space for her balloon filled with water
For turning my patio deck totally white when she attempted her pottery thing and not clearing the mess
For using up all my dish detergent, bath shampoo etc in one of her bubble making experiments
For causing a panic to all of us because she decided not to take the school bus and make her own way home and did not inform any of us
For being disrespectful or rude despite warning
And so many other things. But all these were from her toddler years to tween. When she hit her teens she was a lot more manageable. -
When I was her age I was the same…I remember studying into the night or sometimes very early in the morning when everyone is asleep … like the tranquility. But I feel that though my timing is not healthy… it is not affecting me from what I could remember. For dd, I feel this habit will worsen her current issue. Use what mtd to teach/tell? Soft mtd is like forever is ok ok…but don’t really see action. Use harder mtd, I could feel how I felt when my mom disagree with me when I was younger.
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Funz, yours got a lot of pattern!
Mine not that many pattern…the most frequent one…we just close our eyes… young time the toys we bought…once got back to the car, she will opened up …not only the packaging but also the item itself and many times cannot put it back, it became a damaged item even before we reached home. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2078581\" time=\"1660616342\" user_id=\"43981:
Hi MKS, for teenager, maybe u can sit down with her and let her know your reason: “For dd, I feel this habit will worsen her current issue.” Ask her opinion whether she agrees/disagrees and why.
When I was her age I was the same..I remember studying into the night or sometimes very early in the morning when everyone is asleep .. like the tranquility. But I feel that though my timing is not healthy.. it is not affecting me from what I could remember. For dd, I feel this habit will worsen her current issue. Use what mtd to teach/tell? Soft mtd is like forever is ok ok..but don't really see action. Use harder mtd, I could feel how I felt when my mom disagree with me when I was younger.
Maybe u have a certain lights off time in your expectation but she has a different lights off time in her mind. Can u come to an agreement? Are u willing to have a trial period to try both parties’ timing and see whether got improvement? -
Thanks zac’s mom…maybe I need to rethink of it…
I somehow feel dd has some issues in managing time/jobs. Can last minute comes out something need to be done and for this reason I actually gave her much more freedom in time/access. I may have spoilt her it seems . -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2078581\" time=\"1660616342\" user_id=\"43981:
wow maybe girls started early.
When I was her age I was the same..I remember studying into the night or sometimes very early in the morning when everyone is asleep .. like the tranquility. But I feel that though my timing is not healthy.. it is not affecting me from what I could remember. For dd, I feel this habit will worsen her current issue. Use what mtd to teach/tell? Soft mtd is like forever is ok ok..but don't really see action. Use harder mtd, I could feel how I felt when my mom disagree with me when I was younger.
it is rather common to study in wee hours , my ds started in sec4 . they would conference call to study
i find it was not useful at all , they said study \"together\" companionship through the night!
but this may not work for some people, i think some papers ds mind went blank the next day - lucky these were sch papers n, not national exams.
they will learnt the hard way , i did stay up in the night to \"support\" him n remind him to rest early
and YES, teens like to pack room, bag in the night.
i think part of destress, on songs, video, immerse in their world -
I thought most parents will be super glad if their kids start clearing their own rooms.
Yah and I think clearing their desks/rooms is a way of clearing their minds, taking a break from all the mugging. DS washing his toilet at 2am in the morning before. Nope, did not scold him told him there are 3 other toilets in the house, he is welcomed to wash them as well but maybe after the rest of us wake up.
DD cleared her room in the middle of the night too. But she got scolded not for clearing her room, but cos she cleared the mess in her room into our living room and left it there for days. Clearly no intention to clear it out of the house since her objective has been achieved. DD can be self centred like that. -
MyPillow\" post_id=\"2078588\" time=\"1660618300\" user_id=\"70594:
The question is whether it works for them without disturbing the rest of the family, and whether they can remain alert in class, don't fall sick, etc.
wow maybe girls started early.
it is rather common to study in wee hours , my ds started in sec4 . they would conference call to study
i find it was not useful at all , they said study \"together\" companionship through the night!
but this may not work for some people, i think some papers ds mind went blank the next day - lucky these were sch papers n, not national exams.
they will learnt the hard way , i did stay up in the night to \"support\" him n remind him to rest early
and YES, teens like to pack room, bag in the night.
i think part of destress, on songs, video, immerse in their world
When I was in upper sec, I started to wake early (3.30-4am) in the few weeks before exams to do revision early in the morning when it was cool and quiet. But I went to bed at 9pm. My parents were concerned at first, but let me do it once they realised that it was working for me. I only did that for the exam prep period, all the way till my A levels. No computers and gadgets in those days.
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