Me Time!
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I thought most parents will be super glad if their kids start clearing their own rooms.
Yah and I think clearing their desks/rooms is a way of clearing their minds, taking a break from all the mugging. DS washing his toilet at 2am in the morning before. Nope, did not scold him told him there are 3 other toilets in the house, he is welcomed to wash them as well but maybe after the rest of us wake up.
DD cleared her room in the middle of the night too. But she got scolded not for clearing her room, but cos she cleared the mess in her room into our living room and left it there for days. Clearly no intention to clear it out of the house since her objective has been achieved. DD can be self centred like that. -
MyPillow\" post_id=\"2078588\" time=\"1660618300\" user_id=\"70594:
The question is whether it works for them without disturbing the rest of the family, and whether they can remain alert in class, don't fall sick, etc.
wow maybe girls started early.
it is rather common to study in wee hours , my ds started in sec4 . they would conference call to study
i find it was not useful at all , they said study \"together\" companionship through the night!
but this may not work for some people, i think some papers ds mind went blank the next day - lucky these were sch papers n, not national exams.
they will learnt the hard way , i did stay up in the night to \"support\" him n remind him to rest early
and YES, teens like to pack room, bag in the night.
i think part of destress, on songs, video, immerse in their world
When I was in upper sec, I started to wake early (3.30-4am) in the few weeks before exams to do revision early in the morning when it was cool and quiet. But I went to bed at 9pm. My parents were concerned at first, but let me do it once they realised that it was working for me. I only did that for the exam prep period, all the way till my A levels. No computers and gadgets in those days. -
MyPillow\" post_id=\"2078552\" time=\"1660576501\" user_id=\"70594:
The issues of scolding are :
Hahah yah, sometimes must scold n push … unless we can stand their nua ness , untidiness and bo chap attitude
1. Our blood pressure will go up and our heart beat will be fast when we scold which is not good for our health.
2. Our Kids will learn from us. When they find others are doing something which they think are not correct, they will follow the way parents scold them to scold others people.
3. I find my face will turn ugly when I scold other and therefore I don't want to scold people.
DS has never raise his voice and scold others because we never do that at home. -
I love studying into the quiet night & catch a few hours’ sleep before school. Now, I don’t want DS doing that and in anycase, he’s got better discipline that myself. It does sound double std but honestly, it’s chiefly coz I’ve learnt in later adulthood sleeping late damages our sleeping patterns & body rest & repair regime. Long term, it causes cumulative health problems that can be irreversible. Do I want my kids to regret later in life like I did? No, that’s why I’ll share my informed life with my offsprings.
In my days, we don’t hv the benefit of air-conditioning hence cool wee hours mornings. So, our kids don’t need to disrupt their body clocks.
Think we scold or chide for the sake of our kids, and discipline is necessary esp at onset of kids early childhood, o’wise once a bad habit forms, it’s harder to revert & carrying into adulthood doesn’t help them succeed in life. The only exception wld be for every parent to identify if their needs require special warm conditions & guidance towards achieving better discipline. These wld be children who cannot be scolded or shout down at, but need our close supervision & protection fr public judgements opinions. These are kids who needs more of our love & gentle persuasion. I’m a firm believer of apply different parenting approach for individual child - those who hv the mental ability to u’stand & do better will be ‘pushed’ to better themselves whilst I’ll nvr push kids who need more u’standing & support coz they’re unique. -
Generally my girls mentioned that we are very chill parents compared to their classmates whose parents control screen time, outings, communication with friends etc….
I think maybe we are too chill hahaha so they were never stopped from doing anything that they like… got good got bad lah… -
Beside using scolding, there are always other ways to teach our kids. It depends on whether the parents have the patients and intelligent. To me, scolding is the most easiest way to express our discontent and push other people to fulfil our expectations without caring the other parties feeling.
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It will be very sad indeed, if our kids’ memories and impressions of parents are of scoldings and/or chidings or naggings, rather than us as parents being pillars of encouragement or support in seeing the kids through, day by day.
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Think nowadays the parents scoldings may be much less intense than last time. Even nagging also… I just guess not many kids will be guai guai let you nag. They know how to voice out their thinking and parents need take care of their feelings so need a balance…and finding the balance is currently an issue to me.
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I m just thinking maybe I should just tell dd go sleep early and I just don’t need worry too much. Just go for my own uninterrupted sleep… else both suffer insufficient sleep.
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My parents do scold us. Cane us even. But they love and support us also. Doesn’t mean that it is all scolding and endless scolding. Yes we remember the times when we were scolded and the times when we were caned but we also remember when mum cooked up a storm for all our bday celebrations and dad will always make sure to arrange for vacations for the family during holidays and the nights that they take turns to look after us when we fall sick, me with my asthma especially.
I do not know what some of your definition of scolding is but to me using a firmer tone, a louder voice than your normal talking voice, telling the child off for something they did wrong, and letting your tone convey your displeasure. It does not have to be over the top railing with demeaning words that put the child down. That is not a scolding that is a parent losing control.
I will admit I do a fair bit of scolding, DD on the receiving end most of the time. If I were to ask her what her memories of growing up were, I am very sure that it is not the scoldings but all the other activities and things we did together and in fact we laugh about all her antics that got her scolded. It makes rather entertaining dinner conversation especially when her BF joins us for dinner.
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