All About ADHD : Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2104817\" time=\"1681113639\" user_id=\"43981:
She will not listen when I ask her not to take up extra stuff. She thinks she can cope. I also think moving up the academic ladder or even going into working life, how much more can we stop them from doing what they want? Hopefully if we do go for an assessment, we (and her) can understand her strengths and weaknesses and make life bit easier for everyone. Perhaps as parents, this is what we have been 'owing' her since young.
Beginning of this year I told dd not to take up any extra stuffs. I accidentally saw her cher message to her asking her consider some test/activities that span over few months. I stopped her immediately. The year when she took up some leadership..from her marks I think all will think if this student attended any lesson in school. I let her take up/accept things that she wants past few years and this year really suffering.
Maybe if you think she cannot concentrate maybe just help her make it lean? -
newbieks\" post_id=\"2104822\" time=\"1681114378\" user_id=\"178749:
Oic ok..understand. Not easy being parents. Now that they have own opinions etc. Sometimes I do hear dd complaining that I tell her this can't do and that can't do. Now we try to moderate our expectations.
She will not listen when I ask her not to take up extra stuff. She thinks she can cope. I also think moving up the academic ladder or even going into working life, how much more can we stop them from doing what they want? Hopefully if we do go for an assessment, we (and her) can understand her strengths and weaknesses and make life bit easier for everyone. Perhaps as parents, this is what we have been 'owing' her since young.
She can have very positive expectation but like I told my dh recently..we don't write off possible detachment fm reality. But because they are our children..we remind ourselves need to try continue to believe in them. This time round may not be very ok but they may have their own strength not discovered by us yet. Jiayou. -
ADHD Coping Strategies You Haven’t Tried Yet
https://www.additudemag.com/dealing-with-adhd-80-coping-strategies/
Hope this helps! -
newbieks\" post_id=\"2104816\" time=\"1681113203\" user_id=\"178749:
There is some benefit to helping a child understand herself. We started to do this quite early on, especially as our daughter also has ASD, which causes more difficulties for her. How we saw it was that if she doesn't recognise or understand her traits, she will probably be unwilling to take steps to help herself. She was also getting frustrated much earlier (in Pr school), so we knew it was something we had to address. So in that sense, having an assessment may be helpful - if your daughter knows there is an issue, maybe she will be more willing to take advice.
If it is just being forgetful about stuff in daily life, I dont think i will be too concerned. What I am more concerned with is how to reduce the 'frustration' that I seem to see more often in child these days. It is as if I can see that child is trying to focus but having great difficulty..e.g while trying to focus on a piece of work, the mind can wander off to thinking other things that needs to be done e..g CCA stuff, other school related stuff, homework etc.
The other issue is school - I find that Singapore teachers (I know I haven't interacted with that many, but still...) need proof of any learning disability before they will try to accommodate. We had our daughter diagnosed in her teens so that when I asked teacher to understand that she was a work in progress and be more patient, they wouldn't brush me off as an over-demanding parent. It also meant that I could intervene if she got into trouble (this happened more than once!). -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2104831\" time=\"1681121469\" user_id=\"43981:
For my daughter, we also believe in her as we see she has some good skills, and we want her to experience success. On the other hand, understanding her limitations, we want to shield her from over-reaching and experiencing big disappointments too many times. I am a bit over-protective, but I don't want her spirit to be crushed by too much failure simply because she set her sights unrealistically high. Thankfully, she trusts us, and has mostly taken our advice along the way, for e.g., doing her A levels over 3 years instead of 2, opting intitially for poly rather than university, then for a less-competitive course in university, opting not to do FYP, looking for a low-key job within her capabilities etc. This will differ for each child, but while some failures can be strengthening (and my daughter has \"failed\" in many things, including exams), we want to help her avoid bad failures in big things.
Oic ok..understand. Not easy being parents. Now that they have own opinions etc. Sometimes I do hear dd complaining that I tell her this can't do and that can't do. Now we try to moderate our expectations.
She can have very positive expectation but like I told my dh recently..we don't write off possible detachment fm reality. But because they are our children..we remind ourselves need to try continue to believe in them. This time round may not be very ok but they may have their own strength not discovered by us yet. Jiayou. -
Slmkhoo, yes I was looking for that word… crush, I m bad very direct but nowadays dd will tell me how she feel if the words are too strong for her. One thing I find is when I sometimes discovered her stronger points, I will become more confused.
And I will bring myself back to the 2 years I was coaching her during primary school…to tell myself…should be ok should be ok. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2104836\" time=\"1681124740\" user_id=\"43981:
It's not that I crush her, or use the word on her, but protect her. Sometimes, you have to state things clearly and plainly if that's what it takes for her to understand you. My feeling is that there is no point sugar-coating until the child has a bad experience and we have to pick up the pieces. And it's not that such kids have no strong points, but often their weaknesses make it hard for their strong points to shine. It's no point being good at something if they keep forgetting to practise, get distracted while doing whatever-it-is, can't organise themselves to complete (or even begin) a project, etc.
Slmkhoo, yes I was looking for that word.. crush, I m bad very direct but nowadays dd will tell me how she feel if the words are too strong for her. One thing I find is when I sometimes discovered her stronger points, I will become more confused.
And I will bring myself back to the 2 years I was coaching her during primary school..to tell myself..should be ok should be ok. -
newbieks\" post_id=\"2104822\" time=\"1681114378\" user_id=\"178749:
Fair statement. Knowing your child’s strengths and weaknesses can help her to better play to her strengths.
She will not listen when I ask her not to take up extra stuff. She thinks she can cope. I also think moving up the academic ladder or even going into working life, how much more can we stop them from doing what they want? Hopefully if we do go for an assessment, we (and her) can understand her strengths and weaknesses and make life bit easier for everyone. Perhaps as parents, this is what we have been 'owing' her since young.
If money is not a concern, I would suggest bringing your child to a private practice. This is to avoid leaving an adverse record in case your child would like to apply for govt scholarships or a job in the civil service / stat board. -
Never thought abt it on seeing govt doctor…we had an episode, went to polyclinic saw the doctor and luckily we didn’t proceed to the next stage as we tried managing it within the family.
To be more clear…it is more on stress la. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2105013\" time=\"1681223236\" user_id=\"17023:
yes, most likely if we proceed, we will go to private practice. Option given whether we want to involve school teachers to provide their feedback to give a more holistic assessment. Have been quoted fees of between 1K+ to 3K+ for the assessment including report out to parents.
Fair statement. Knowing your child’s strengths and weaknesses can help her to better play to her strengths.
If money is not a concern, I would suggest bringing your child to a private practice. This is to avoid leaving an adverse record in case your child would like to apply for govt scholarships or a job in the civil service / stat board.
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