Me Time!
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124231\" time=\"1701653106\" user_id=\"43981:
Let her make her own choice and pursuit her dream - and provide any support whenever she needs. I remember how my parents dissuade me for being a nurse and it become regret of my lifetime. :stupid:
Dd seems to be very adamant with her choice of cca next year. I checked and need stay back 3 days of 3 hrs/session if have syf etc. I was trying to dissuade her telling her that it will be too tiring for her, she will be in pain and may not have enough time even for homework. She sobbed, using few pieces of tissues to cover her eyes during our conversation at dining table then went to bedroom and locked the door to cry. Locking door is not a habit in our family. When we talked again..she says I have stopped her ballet and also cca that she loved. I can only give in coz I dont want her to feel I have taken away things that she wishes to do. I know there will be audition.. -
In secondary school, parental consent is not required when the child submits their CCA application form. In fact the school encourages the teens to make their own choices. If she is adamant after discussion, just let her. You can convey to her your concerns (as u have) but ultimately she has to be responsible for her choice (i hope you have emphasized to her this point).
My mum had very similar concerns when i insisted on signing up for marching band cca in secondary school. The commitment is very heavy (last time zero cca points to be earned) and her condition to me was that I must not let my academics slip because of cca. I did end up spending way too much time on my cca, but gained valuable leadership skills (apart from learning a new instrument). My final O level score was short of 1 pt so i couldn’t enter my dream JC. But overall looking back, i think I still wouldnt have traded the cca for the chance to go RJC.
My son now also has his own mind, without asking me went to sign up for extra commitment in his cca (need stay back one extra day per week). To me this is unnecessary but he insists he wants to do it. I also set the condition that he mustn’t let his academics slip because of it.
They will learn how to manage & juggle I guess. I also learning to pick my battles wisely. -
Yup slmkhoo, the upset may last a very long time. I feel not healthy for both the kid and us. I remember you had some tough time for having different opinions and deviate from your parents expectations in some areas too. I was telling myself, her screen time may be reduced to a healthier level, she may feel more motivated etc…if pass the audition, it may meant for her…
The more serious me yesterday was telling them hey we cannot continue to be like this. Time passed means passed, will not come back. From now on, we need to strategise to make good and improve bla bla bla…then came to cca…everything drop …back to square one. -
zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124236\" time=\"1701660679\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124236 time=1701660679 user_id=53606]
I am feeling better to hear.. thanks. Let them try and spread their wings..just starting secondary only.
In secondary school, parental consent is not required when the child submits their CCA application form. In fact the school encourages the teens to make their own choices. If she is adamant after discussion, just let her. You can convey to her your concerns (as u have) but ultimately she has to be responsible for her choice (i hope you have emphasized to her this point).
My mum had very similar concerns when i insisted on signing up for marching band cca in secondary school. The commitment is very heavy (last time zero cca points to be earned) and her condition to me was that I must not let my academics slip because of cca. I did end up spending way too much time on my cca, but gained valuable leadership skills (apart from learning a new instrument). My final O level score was short of 1 pt so i couldn’t enter my dream JC. But overall looking back, i think I still wouldnt have traded the cca for the chance to go RJC.
My son now also has his own mind, without asking me went to sign up for extra commitment in his cca (need stay back one extra day per week). To me this is unnecessary but he insists he wants to do it. I also set the condition that he mustn’t let his academics slip because of it.
They will learn how to manage & juggle I guess. I also learning to pick my battles wisely.[/quote] -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2124234\" time=\"1701655156\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2124234 time=1701655156 user_id=195250]
During a period my dream was to work in a hospital and my aunt told me need see lots of blood, need clean very scary wound etc. But now I feel lucky lor not working there coz I have no strength.
Let her make her own choice and pursuit her dream - and provide any support whenever she needs. I remember how my parents dissuade me for being a nurse and it become regret of my lifetime. :stupid:[/quote] -
Lnw, how are you and yr mom? If both sides still tense then I would think better have a cooling period…don’t communicate much at tense moments as will easily use harsh words.
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124241\" time=\"1701662595\" user_id=\"43981:
Mrskiasu,
Lnw, how are you and yr mom? If both sides still tense then I would think better have a cooling period..don't communicate much at tense moments as will easily use harsh words.
Thank you for your concern, Yes, you are correct, I will not talk to her anymore. -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124231\" time=\"1701653106\" user_id=\"43981:
A friend shared with me that her niece spent a lot of time on SYF and the mum was very worried for the girl because PSLE coming and the girl was always tired after long hours of practice and training.
Dd seems to be very adamant with her choice of cca next year. I checked and need stay back 3 days of 3 hrs/session if have syf etc. I was trying to dissuade her telling her that it will be too tiring for her, she will be in pain and may not have enough time even for homework. She sobbed, using few pieces of tissues to cover her eyes during our conversation at dining table then went to bedroom and locked the door to cry. Locking door is not a habit in our family. When we talked again..she says I have stopped her ballet and also cca that she loved. I can only give in coz I dont want her to feel I have taken away things that she wishes to do. I know there will be audition..
Fast forward, her dedication towards her CCA helped the school clinch SYF Distinction but she didn’t do well for PSLE and failed to get into her dream sec sch.
So your concern is valid.
When it was DD2’s turn to pick a CCA in JC early this year, I suggested she apply for Student’s Council. Maybe can show leadership qualities if she is keen to apply for scholarships next time.
DD2 replied, “But Mom….. 我真的很喜欢摄影”. Don’t know why my heart melted at that moment and wished her all the best for her Photography audition.
Now you brought up this topic, makes me realize there are many dilemmas parents have to go through in parenting. Parenting is tough and every kid is a bespoke experience -
Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2124234\" time=\"1701655156\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2124234 time=1701655156 user_id=195250]
Don’t be angry with your mum lah, I believe she wants you to have an easier life. Half of the hospital nurses quit their job during COVID. It is not easy.
Let her make her own choice and pursuit her dream - and provide any support whenever she needs. I remember how my parents dissuade me for being a nurse and it become regret of my lifetime. :stupid:[/quote]
Having said that, you can always do a mid-career change to join the Healthcare Sector and I believe MOH will welcome you.
DD1 told me she saw a TTSH poster recruiting night-shift volunteers to assist seniors to the toilets and she asked if she can join after her A-levels. Maybe you can try to volunteer at a hospital first and see if you enjoy the experience. Maybe after trying out, if you find that you still prefer your current job. you will be thankful to your mum. -
lee_yl\" post_id=\"2124245\" time=\"1701664137\" user_id=\"17023:
Yes, CCA like Band SYF performance is very, very time consuming, especially in Secondary schools with 9 subjects :
A friend shared with me that her niece spent a lot of time on SYF and the mum was very worried for the girl because PSLE coming and the girl was always tired after long hours of practice and training.
Fast forward, her dedication towards her CCA helped the school clinch SYF Distinction but she didn’t do well for PSLE and failed to get into her dream sec sch.
So your concern is valid.
When it was DD2’s turn to pick a CCA in JC early this year, I suggested she apply for Student’s Council. Maybe can show leadership qualities if she is keen to apply for scholarships next time.
DD2 replied, “But Mom….. 我真的很喜欢摄影”. Don’t know why my heart melted at that moment and wished her all the best for her Photography audition.
Now you brought up this topic, makes me realize there are many dilemmas parents have to go through in parenting. Parenting is tough and every kid is a bespoke experience
very hard to find time to study, revise school work, if join Band or any of those Cca that involve SYF performance. Try to join those Cca, that imvolve once a week commitment.
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